1. Before she died, an old lady took her husband's hand and confessed: "Old man, let me tell you the truth, none of our three sons are yours." After hearing this, the old man comforted his wife and said, "It's okay. Although the three sons are not mine, the three grandchildren must be mine..."
2. The girl said: I am pregnant. The man continued to eat with his head down and said: I have been sterilized a long time ago. The girl was stunned for a while: I was kidding you. The man raised his head and glanced at her, took a sip of water and said: Me too.
3. The prince met a beggar on the road and found that he looked very much like himself! The prince asked the beggar with great disdain: "Your mother was once a maid in the palace, right?" The beggar replied angrily: "No, my mother never entered the palace, but my father used to be a coachman in the palace! 4. After class, I bought a can of plums. Anyway, the soup in the can was red, like blood. I couldn't drink it, so I ate the plums in it and gave the canned soup to my boyfriend. I asked, "Does it taste good? ""kindness. The guy wiped his mouth and asked me: "Are there any more next month?" "
5. I asked a friend for advice on how to confess to the girl I like. The friend said, "This is not easy, just say I love you." I said, "It's so vulgar, can she accept it?" "It's good to be simple and unpretentious, but what if you don't accept it?" "I said, "Okay, please accept my confession to you, I love you"... 6. The teacher said: "One is long and the other is short, one is fast and the other is slow. The short one is born too lazy to move, and the long one is too busy. Guess what this is? "Tom said, "Dad and Mum. 7. The chef said to the pig kindly: "How do you want to be eaten?" Don't be afraid, let a hundred flowers bloom, a hundred schools of thought contend, and speak freely. Pig: "Actually... I don't want to be eaten." "Chef: "Look, are you going off topic? "Pig:...
" 8. The happiest thing every day is watching my wife put on lotion and pat her face in the morning, "Papa", "Papa", "Papa". It felt so good to hear it. As I listened, I muttered to myself, "I told you to let me wash my socks, I told you to let me pick up the kids, I told you not to let me drink, I told you not to play games, hit, hit, hit me hard!" "
9. Bajie asked Tang Seng very sadly: "Master, am I the ugliest in the world? Tang Monk helplessly replied: "I don't know. Just ask Guanyin." After a while, Bajie came back happily and asked with a smile: "Master, who is Sister Feng?" "
10. A patient asked a doctor about cold hands and feet. Doctor: "When I feel cold hands and feet, I hug my wife, so it warms up and feels warm..." "Patient: "This is a method worth trying..." That…. Madam, when is the most convenient time? "
11. In the office, a female colleague asked her male colleague: "Tell me, are men finished after they get married? The male colleague was stunned after hearing this, and replied: "I don't know, but if you marry me, you can have fun in the future!"
12. I parked my bicycle in a shed. When I came back, the bicycle was gone. I only saw the bicycle lock thrown aside. The lock was not broken and could still be used. I thought it was a pity to throw away the bicycle lock, so I locked the bicycle lock on someone else's bicycle and left.
13. I took an advanced math class in my freshman year. It was a public class so we had a big classroom. Once there was no chalk in our classroom, so we asked a classmate to go next door to get some for use. So the boy in the back row went out, and a few seconds later he appeared at the front door of our classroom. "Teacher, give me some chalk..." Teacher Shihua: Oh, there is no chalk in other classrooms, right? Then you go back, and then he goes out from the front and comes in through the back door: Teacher, there are no other classrooms~
14. A beggar comes to beg in front of the stingy man's house. Beggar: "A small piece of meat, please." Stingy Man: "No!" Beggar: "Bread crumbs will do, too." Stingy Man: "No."Beggar: "Then give me a drink of water! ” Scrooge: “We don't even have water anymore. The beggar got angry: "Then why are you still sitting at home?" Come and beg for food with me! "
15. The patient said to the psychiatrist: "I always feel that I am a bird." Doctor: "Oh, that is very serious. When did it start? "Patient: "Since I was a little bird" 16. I spent ten cents to send you this text message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime text message is my birthday gift to you.
