[Jokes] 20 Jokes That Pure Little Loli Can’t Understand - Resource Group

1. We matched a couple of ambiguous men and women in the company, but the woman liked the man and the man didn't like the woman. One time, four people sat together and I said: If you have feelings for us, stop pretending and confess your feelings quickly. Who would have thought, this guy sat lazily on the chair and touched his crotch with his hand: It feels like a P. Look, it's not even hard, it's flat.
The girl quickly said with concern: Really, let me touch...
2. In math class, the teacher talks about permutations and combinations, and one of the problem-solving methods is called the "bundling method." The math teacher said: "When you encounter permutations and combinations in the future, tie them up first..." Before the teacher could finish his words, he saw the math class representative sleeping and asked him to get up to answer the question. The teacher asked: "Where did I say it?"
The class representative replied sleepily: "Be tied and then whipped!"
The teacher got angry and said: "Do you have a strong taste?!"
The whole class laughed faintly...
3. My classmate's family has a pig that is a breeding pig. This pig is very capable and earns a lot of money for their family. However, my classmate is a careless owner who doesn't spend enough money and can't do any work.
One day we were all chatting in their yard. An aunt came, holding a sow. When she entered the door, she said: Let's breed our pigs.
My classmate responded in a very polite and awkward manner: My dad is not at home today!
4. I have nothing to do today and chat with a girl. She said angrily: "My boyfriend is quite ugly."
I said: Don't talk about your boyfriend like that. "
She said: "Well, I am not modest. Everyone admits that I am ugly. "
I then asked: "How ugly is it? "
She said: "It's hard to say. "
I then induced: "Let's put it this way, if you give me 60 points, how many points will you give him? "
She said without hesitation: "58 points! "
5. When I was in college, I had a buddy who was in the same dormitory and was a department representative. Our teacher was a young female teacher. In other words, one day my buddy was walking on the road with a cigarette in his mouth. He suddenly saw the teacher and walked up to say hello. Unexpectedly, the teacher took two steps back and said, "I'm pregnant!" (The female teacher was afraid that the smoke would reach her.)" My friend didn't understand what he meant. He instantly petrified and dropped the smoke. He said tremblingly, "It's not mine!" ".
6. The identities of the four wives playing cards are the wife of the newspaper president, the wife of the chairman of the milk company, the wife of the general manager of the electric power company, and the justice's wife. They were chatting while rubbing the cards, and while chatting, they got involved in that matter...
The wife of the newspaper president first got angry and said with emotion: "Alas! In this regard, our old man is just like the newsboy who delivers newspapers in their newspaper office, stuffing stuff into the mailbox and leaving. "
The wife of the chairman of the milk company touched a card and continued: "This is not surprising at all. The bag at our house is like the milk deliveryman in the morning. It is just left at the door and does not go in at all. "
When it was the turn of the wife of the general manager of the power company to speak, she shook her head and said helplessly: "Oh! In fact, you are all pretty good! My husband, like his company, checks the electricity meter and only comes once a month. Finally, everyone wanted to hear the opinion of the chief justice's wife. She said in a very chic tone: "We, the head of the family, have court sessions every day, but unfortunately we never prosecute!" " 7. It was late at night, and the child cried when he was sleeping. The father decided to sing a lullaby to coax him. But just after singing a few words, a protest came from the next door: let the child cry! 8. After playing poker all night, Lao He dropped a chip into the church donation plate in a dizzy state. When he found it, he quickly wanted to change it for a one-dollar bill. "No, you can't lie to me," the pastor said, "That's a five-dollar chip." 9. The tourist complained to the hotel manager: "There is a swimming pool surcharge on the bill, but there is no swimming pool here!" Manager: "That's right. The money is used to build the swimming pool." 10. The young master asked the cook: "You promised not to tell mother when I came home last night." The cook replied: "I didn't break my promise.When your mother asked me, I just told her that I was busy making breakfast and didn't notice the time you came back. ” 11. Every time Lao Shi and Lao Lin meet, they always tease each other. One day, Lao Lin suddenly touched Lao Shi's bald head and said, "Your bald head really feels like my wife's butt." Lao Shi smiled and touched his bald head, and then said sympathetically: "Yeah! Indeed" 12. Professor Huang was furious in a class at a girls' school: "I'm exhausted up there, but you guys are motionless down there. I've given so much before and after, have you absorbed anything?" 13. When a couple wants to make love, they will use "washing clothes" as a code word. One day, after the couple had a quarrel, because the wife was angry and the husband was in need, it was inconvenient for him to woo his wife, so he had to ask his son to pass the message on his behalf: (Mom, dad said his clothes were dirty and he needed to wash them.) Mom was very angry and said: (Tell your dad that the washing machine is broken. , I won't wash it today.) A few days later, this time it was the wife's turn, so she asked her son to pass on the message: (Go tell your dad that the washing machine is repaired and you can wash the clothes.) The son immediately said: (Mom, dad told me, no need, he has already washed it by hand.) 14. A foreigner came to Taiwan to learn Chinese directly. But he has never been able to figure out the difference between "iron" and "steel". One day he came home very late. As a result, the door downstairs could not be opened. He had no choice but to shout loudly upstairs, "Mrs. Landlady, your steel door can't be opened"... 15. A certain village chief wanted to do something big, and after careful investigation, he sent a plan to his superiors. It said that he should tile the Great Wall, add gold rims to the equator, install elevators on Mount Everest, and encircle railings on the Pacific Ocean. So, the village chief did another investigation and wrote another letter. It reads: Put on gloves for all flies; put on masks for all mosquitoes; put on shackles on all mice; put on BY masks for all locusts. 16. There is a couple who is very loving and spends almost thirty days a month at XXXX. One day, my wife suddenly felt uncomfortable. After examination, the doctor said: You are suffering from neuropathic pain caused by excessive sexual indulgence. You must stop XXXX for three months, otherwise your life may be in danger. After returning home, the wife told her husband what had happened, so they had to endure it for three months and slept in separate rooms. However, just a week later, the husband could not help himself and walked to his wife's room that night. He happened to see his wife about to leave the room. The wife was surprised to see him and asked: Is something okay? ? The husband said seriously: "I came to kill you, but what about you?" The wife shyly replied: "I came to kill you." 17. Xiao Ming is already in his junior year of college, and he still doesn't have a girlfriend. Encouraged by his buddies in the dormitory, he decided to chase a girl he had admired for a long time. One day, he saw the girl walking alone on the playground and followed her. Because he didn't know how to speak, Xiao Ming felt very anxious. Seeing the girl walking further and further away, he had no choice but to pick up something from the ground, catch up and say, "Miss, did you drop this brick?" 18. Before marriage, he said to me tenderly: Marry me, you are a very important part of my life. After the marriage, I asked him: What part of his life am I? He glanced at me and pointed to his six fingers~~~ 19. "Do you believe the saying 'love is eternal'?" "Of course I do, but only under the premise that the lovers keep changing." 20. A soldier's wife went to the military camp to visit her husband. She happened to meet the soldiers practicing their guns. She heard the roar of gunshots, which frightened the wife and hid in her husband's arms. Then the husband said: “Look, this is the power of a pistol. Let's go home and let you taste the power of a cannon!”