20 humorous short sentences that make you want to cry and laugh at the same time

1. A colleague once asked me: Which one would you choose between money and women? My answer was: I would choose money, because with money I can buy more women.
2. Words are spoken by people, and farts are also made by people. Speaking and farting are the same, they are just one breath. . .
3. When you were born, you were crying and the people around you were smiling; when you passed away, you were smiling and the people around you were crying! Everything is reincarnation! ! ! ! We are all in reincarnation! ! ! !
4. Don't think that we are a thing. In fact, the world is so big and we are nothing!
5. For work, if you step back, the sky will be brighter; for love, if you step back, the sky will be empty.
6. The so-called kicking for foot pain and kicking for headache is another foreign player's eye that was damaged by a kick in the domestic league. It is indeed not very civilized. The international community may only think of the Chinese team as a group of baboons kicking coconuts on the beach in a virgin forest.
7. Those who are beautiful do not cook, those who cook are not gentle, those who are gentle are not assertive, those who are assertive are not feminine, those who are feminine spend money indiscriminately, those who do not spend money randomly are not fashionable, those who are fashionable are not assured, and those who are assured cannot be seen.
8. The success rate of unattractive girls acting like a spoiled child is actually higher than that of pretty girls, because when a pretty girl acts like a spoiled child, men can't help but look at it for a while, and then decide in their hearts whether it is worth it. The unattractive girls acting like a spoiled child are like the writing techniques of Western writers learned by Chinese literati, and they always feel out of shape. Watching them acting like a spoiled child will make them feel guilty, so men will rush to agree to stop them from acting like a spoiled child.
9. In fact, the most formidable men in the world are those who claim to be indifferent to women. They just have not met the ideal woman. Once they meet, with the profoundness of Chinese characters, "not close to women" will immediately become "cannot help women." Therefore, the history discipline no longer needs to investigate whether Chinese characters were created by Cangjie. In short, Chinese characters must have been created by men, and they were created by romantic men. In people's eyes, it is hateful to occupy the pit and not poop. In fact, the most hateful thing is to occupy the pit after defecating.
10. After the death of a spiritual person, the spirit will not die; in the same way, after the death of a rich person, the money will not die; Shen Wansan's money attracted a large number of Chinese and foreign tourists, and the population density in Shen Hall taught people the importance of family planning.
11. The talented ones are ugly, the handsome ones make little money, the ones who make a lot of money don't care about their families, the family-oriented ones are worthless, the promising ones are not romantic, the romantic ones are unreliable, and the reliable ones are useless.
12. The summer solstice is here, let me give you a breeze, it is too tacky; I give you a fan, it is too vulgar; I give you coffee, it is too bitter. Forget it, I'll give you two flowers: one if you have money to spend it, and the other if you want to spend it casually.
13. Smile, ten years later, the key is to find your own jokes; take revenge, your head will grow old, and avoid difficulties when you see them. If you don't worry, your face will be tender, and if you don't worry, you will have more wrinkles. Young people have great ideas and can find their own happiness. Live an easy, happy and long life!
14. Back pain occurs when you sit down, but becomes relaxed when you move. The joints hurt in the air-conditioned room, but the body feels refreshed in the cool place. Big fish and meat are difficult to digest, so light meals are best. Now is a good life, what a happy life!
15. Life should be like tossing a coin. If it's heads, you'll be busy for a while, and if it's tails, you'll be idle for a while. Being busy amidst leisure brings endless vitality, and being busy amidst leisure is enriching and healthy. If the coin is lost, just send me a text message and I will reply. I wish you happiness and relaxation every day!
16. The water you most want to drink: salary; the most difficult job: life; the most beautiful flower: money to spend; the fastest horse: patting the horse; the most powerful method: opinion; the best relationship: relationship; the most sincere letter: text message. Best wishes: Relaxation and happiness!
17. Entering the society with full of aspirations, running around and getting tired, looking for status with your tail between your legs, having a small salary and everything is expensive, treating guests and giving gifts often costs money, swallowing your anger and looking for opportunities, don't be embarrassed in the future, live a relaxed and tasteful life!
18. Level is more important than diploma, qualifications are more important than academic qualifications, salary is more important than job, ability is more important than ability, flattery is more important than decision, business is more important than affection, relaxed life is more important than anything else!
19, 90 (percent) men feel that they have done a good job in all aspects, but 90 (percent) still have a lot of problems pointed out by their wives; 90 (percent) men don't want to listen to their wives nagging, but 90 (percent) still listen.
20. Having rich feelings often causes the most troubles; weak feelings often cause the most losses; single-minded feelings often hurt the most; emotional numbness often hurts the most; emotional idiots often gain the most; being merciless often causes the fastest aging!