1. There are many people in this world who, very likely, at the moment of their first love's failure or on the day they became widowed at a young age, have already buried all the love of their lives along with it. What remains is only the body, living through the days unwillingly. What remains in the heart is only emotion, not love. It is merely calmly responding and accumulating, but never again burning intensely!\ Walking and walking, it fades; memories blur; watching and watching, one grows tired, even the starlight dims; listening and listening, one awakens, begins to complain; looking back, you are gone, and suddenly I am frantic.\ My world is too quiet, so quiet that I can hear the sound of my own heartbeat. Blood in the atrium slowly flows back to the ventricle, such is the cycle. Clever people like to guess hearts, perhaps they guess others' hearts correctly, but they lose their own heart in the process. Foolish people like to give their hearts, perhaps they will be deceived, but not necessarily gain others' hearts. You thought I was invulnerable, I thought you were impervious to all poisons...\ Many past events pass before my eyes, scene by scene, becoming so blurry. What I once believed so firmly, so persistently, what I kept believing, actually, turned out to be nothing, nothing at all... Suddenly I realize how foolish I am, utterly foolish. I swear, I laughed until my tears fell. Laughing at how foolish we are: we always repeat certain hurts, with no one able to hide from pain. Yet we keep foolishly hoping, to disappointment, then hoping again, and being disappointed again...\ Just when I thought that nothing had changed, that as long as I am happy I could return to your embrace and never leave for a lifetime, in fact, everything had already changed beyond recognition. I am like a nautilus resting inside its shell, waiting to peek out and observe the world, only to find that the sea I once lived in has already become mountains too high to climb. And I am a fossil frozen on the cliff.\ The past is like smoke; memories of those times replicate and paste themselves in my mind, every corner of my world is about you. Perhaps the heart will still often reminisce, thinking of the joyful moments we could have together every day. In places without you, I still leave behind messages about you; everything about you will eventually be forgotten, in the future that we are unwilling to forget but that time forgets. Yet, you will always be in life, a part of my growth, never disappearing.You have to believe that there is definitely someone in this world who will be your lover, whether at this moment you are surrounded by light and drowned in applause, or back then you were walking alone on a cold street, soaked by heavy rain, whether it is a morning with light snow falling, or a dusk scorched by a heatwave, he will surely traverse through the surging crowd in this world, passing them one by one, and come to you. He will surely come to you with a heart full of passion and eyes heavy with love, hugging you tightly. He will be eager to reach your side; if he is young, he will hug you like a naughty child holding onto his toy, unwilling to share it with anyone. If he is no longer young, he will be like a hunter returning after braving thorns and obstacles, lighting a bonfire beside you, and then holding you in an exhausted but relieved embrace to sleep. He will definitely find you. You have to wait...
I have gotten used to waiting, so in the cycle of reincarnation I cannot resist returning to the original point of waiting. I do not know how much longer I must wait to see an answer; I do not know how long I can keep waiting for a result. Longing is very powerless, because I cannot see the result of my longing. Perhaps longing does not need a result; it merely proves that someone once existed in the heart. Is it possible to give longing a certificate, proving that it once existed?
