1. A man visited a brothel and asked the woman the price. The woman replied: 50 yuan. The man saw the advantage and did it. The woman said: Please pay 100 yuan. The man asked why. The woman answered that it was 50 yuan each for entry and exit. The man said angrily: You fucking have China Mobile, and you charge in both directions!
2. A woman's cheating husband suddenly came home. The adulterer hurriedly jumped out of the window and escaped, blending into the morning joggers. Some curious people asked: Why are you not wearing clothes? The answer: streaking! Never seen it? The man replied: I've seen streaking before, but I've never seen anyone running naked with a condom on!
3. A beautiful woman found that her lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly realized, he caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!
4. The young lady explained to the police that she did not have maiyin: I just sold condoms for two yuan for two hundred yuan, which at best was raising the price. Police: What happened next? The lady said: Teaching him how to use it is an after-sales service.
5. There is a pair of rural "wild mandarin ducks" having a tryst in a cornfield. At this time, on the beach not too far away, the artillery began to practice artillery shooting. During the training, a recruit accidentally turned the muzzle of his gun from facing the sea to the direction of the green gauze tent due to panic. As a result, it misfired and hit the corn field, landing near the "Wild Mandarin Duck" and blooming.
The artillery squad leader shouted "No!" when he saw this. In order to avoid and reduce the damage to the farmer brothers' corn fields and other property, he led the soldiers to rush to the corn fields where the artillery shells hit to check.
"Wild Mandarin Duck" took a long time to crawl out of the thick soil raised by the shells. When he looked up, he was surprised: there were soldiers all around!
The woman held up her pants and ran away with a blushing face.
The man got up, rubbed his dusty eyes, and muttered dissatisfiedly to the soldiers:
"What a fucking mistake you made, it's worth firing with cannons!"
6. China is a country that cannot be messed with! The reason is this: Al Qaeda once sent seven terrorists to attack China.
Results:
One person fainted on the Xizhimen Overpass in Beijing when bombing;
One person failed to get on the bus when bombing;
One person bombed a supermarket, and the bomb remote control was stolen;
One person was beaten by security guards when bombing a government building: "Telling you to ask for wages, asking you to petition",
One person successfully bombed a mine, dead and injured Hundreds of people, after sneaking back to the base, did not see any news reports for half a year, and were executed by al-Qaeda on the charge of "lying"; one person once tried to bomb Guangzhou, and the explosive package was snatched by the speedsters as soon as he left the train station, and he did not recover for a long time; recently, a female terrorist was sent to bomb Henan, and she was tricked into becoming his wife! !
Al Qaeda decided to train a Chinese terrorist from an early age to attack China. Unexpectedly, the child was born not long ago. He was killed by Sanlu.
7. The leader of the unit summarized his speech: The reasons why our work is not good are: first, it is like a widow sleeping with no one above her; second, it is like a prostitute, with the boss always changing people; third, it is like sleeping with the wife, and one of our own always messes with our own.
8. Women talk about their husbands' sexual abilities. A: Well, my electricity bill collector only charges once a month. B: My husband is like a leaflet deliverer, he just stuffs it and gets away with it. C: You guys are okay. My mouth is like a milkman's. I left it at the door and left.
