Memories of Autumn Chapter 4: I……… (Ya's Story)

Yesterday's rain kept falling until dawn. And I didn't get any sleep the whole night. Although I was hurt, what occupied my mind more than anything else was confusion. Why did Qí suddenly say they wanted to break up? What exactly does the sentence 'I never liked you from the start' mean? My mind was full of questions, baffled beyond understanding, almost to the point of my head about to explode. No. Being alone would only lead me to endlessly sink into self-pity.
I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself, seeing nothing but a haggard face. Tossing and turning without sleep had left me not only looking unwell but with swollen eyes as well. It seems I really was seriously struck by this blow… I… In an effort to force myself to cheer up, I washed my face with cold water. I finally felt a bit refreshed. At that moment, I inadvertently noticed a small package on the table. Its originally delicate wrapping paper had been wrinkled by the water. Right now, I definitely didn't have the mood to open and eat it. But I couldn't bring myself to throw it away either. The meaning this small package carried proved that what happened last night was real and not a dream. Why did you feel the need to tell me that you never liked me from the start? I looked away from the chocolate.
'Speaking of which, today is a work day…'
I have to work one full day every Sunday. Otherwise, as a high school student living alone, my livelihood would be in trouble. In any case, although my family helps cover the rent, I have to manage the remaining living expenses on my own. So I work five times a week just to cover my living expenses. But I have no energy today… I called the workplace and took a day off, citing a cold. Then I decided to go out for a walk.
The continuous rain poured down without end, making my mood even gloomier. It's so cold.
Yīcù: 'Hi, noon, are you feeling happy today?'
As soon as I approached, this dog started wagging its tail crazily—probably, it's very happy… maybe. The place I live, Rìmù Manor, allows dogs. Although the owners are usually away, almost everyone in the manor has been asked to help take care of this dog, including me. This dog looked pitiful. I smiled at it while gently petting it. Despite being so dejected right now, playing with this dog gave me a strange feeling of being saved. Feeling this warmth… is really important."Namaste~Thank you for your hard work" (Namaste: a greeting used in India, Nepal, and other places)\The sudden appearance of this person made the dog extremely excited.\???: "Hey, Tomoya, time for breakfast!"\This man with rather strange vibes is the one who lives in the same apartment as me and is also the owner of this dog, Shin Inaho. He's the type of person who would give his own bicycle a strange name like 'Evening Breeze.' Although it might be a bit premature to call it fate or karma, my encounter with this guy was actually quite unfortunate. Sigh... such things don't matter. Shin placed the dog food he had brought in front of the dog.\Shin: "Alright! Walk is up to you!"\"Ah! Walk?"\"You'll take Tomoya out for about an hour or so! Didn't you know?"\"Thanks for explaining, but why should I take him at noon?"\"No~No. Ichiku, you've got it wrong."\"What?"\"This guy's name is Tomoya, understand?"\"Isn't it Shogo?"\"It's Tomoya, how many times do I have to tell you?"\"I heard his name was Shogo."\"Who told you that? Babbling over there..."\...Who told me that?\Shin: "If your intelligence gathering is that bad, you won't be able to survive in this era."\"Do whatever you want, go take him for a walk yourself."\"Don't worry! I know you best!"\I stopped talking and opened my umbrella, walking out. At this rate, I was afraid I might end up mentioning that thing.\Shin: "Ichiku, what about taking the dog for a walk!"\Still talking about that. But I ignored him completely.\Far away in the Hamaomori Residential Area, on a hill near the sea, there's a church. Somehow, I found myself walking there. It's a place I really like. Hardly any people around. The church is no longer in use, so it looks very old and long-neglected.\As soon as I stepped into the church, the sound of the rain softened. It's always so quiet here. The church has a patched-up window, and from there one can see the sea outside. On the right is Ashikajima. During summer fireworks festivals, this is an excellent hidden spot to watch that nobody knows about. I remember the first time I came to this church was for the fireworks festival. Must have been about ten years ago. Back then, I was still living in the orphanage. Why I stayed there... I don't even know, I just knew I'd been there since I could understand things, so it couldn't be helped.The fireworks festival is the happiest day of the year for the orphanage. At that time, I was lively and restless, never able to stay still for a moment, and I didn't fit in very well… well, I still don't, actually. The adults at the orphanage would take us to Ashika Island to watch the fireworks, but I always felt a little unsatisfied. So I secretly ran off by myself. At that time, it was probably an adventure for me. It was less than an hour's journey, and the first place I arrived at was this church. It looked beautiful from the window of the church. I immediately fell in love with this place. However, for an elementary school student, coming here from Senba-kyu wasn't that easy. So by the time I came a second time, I was already a middle school student. Whenever I was in a bad mood, I would come here. In the church, there was an old priest living a secluded life. Sometimes, I would also help the old priest repair the church.
Speaking of which, my relationship with Ki also began only after he confessed to me in this church. Before that, I hadn't told anyone that this was my little secret place. The only person I ever told about the location of the church was Ki. On the day of the fireworks festival two and a half years ago, when I took her to the church for the first time, Ki confessed to me. I remembered what happened yesterday; yesterday here, I heard Ki say that he wanted to break up with me.
"Our love began here, and it ends here…"
For me now, this church is my favorite place, but it has also become a place that holds painful memories. Exhausted, I collapsed completely onto the chair. There are very few chairs here that are intact; most are broken. I curled up in the chair and stared out the window absentmindedly. I hate the rain… sure enough, I shouldn't have come here. This church holds too many memories related to Ki.