Every time the wife and husband argue, the wife runs to the bathroom and stays there for a long time. After this happens many times, the husband has no choice but to ask his wife, 'What are you doing in the bathroom? Looks like it's satisfying?' The wife says, 'Scrubbing the toilet!' The husband asks, 'Scrubbing the toilet can be satisfying?' The wife says, 'I don't know, anyway I'm using your toothbrush.'
1. The boys' and girls' bathrooms in school are connected. A girl went to the bathroom and forgot to bring toilet paper. Feeling embarrassed, suddenly toilet paper came from the boys' bathroom next door. The girl, flustered, shouted, 'Who is it?' The boy next door replied deeply and firmly, 'Lei Feng.'
2. A fashionable woman got on a bus, saw an empty seat, took out some tissues and wiped it for a while. Just as she was about to sit down, she accidentally farted. A man next to her laughed and said, 'Damn, it's really clean, and you even need to blow it after wiping.'
3. A couple is sleeping in the same room. The girl drew a line: anyone crossing it is a beast. She woke up to find the man hadn't crossed the line, so she slapped him hard: 'You're not even worthy to be called a beast.'
4. One night, a naked man called a taxi. The female driver stared at him without blinking. The naked man got furious and shouted, 'Haven't you ever seen a naked man?' The female driver also got angry: 'Where the hell do you take out money from?'
5. A must-read little story for girls: A bat reincarnates before God. God says he can grant three wishes. The bat says, 'I was black in my past life, so in the next life I want a pure white body and wings, and since I'm used to drinking blood, allow me to feed on blood.' God said, 'Okay, I agree.' Do you know what he became in his next life? 'Sanitary pad.' Haha.
6. Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three 'gold' characters in my name? Dad: You are lacking metal in your fate, so your name is Xin (which means 'prosperity'), just like some people lack water and are named Miao, and some lack wood and are named Sen. Xiao Xin: Dad, what about sister Guo Jingjing? What is she lacking in her fate?
7. Seven years after graduation, I finally got a major project: to build a thirty-meter chimney in two months with a budget of 300,000, but I had to advance the funds. Finally finished it at the end of last year. Today they came for acceptance inspection, and I was scolded to death, and I haven't even been paid. Damn! I read the blueprints the wrong way; they actually wanted a well dug!8. A beggar knocked on the car window and said, "Give me some money." The gentleman looked at him and said, "I'll give you a cigarette." The beggar said, "I don't smoke, give me some money." The gentleman said, "I have beer in the car, I'll give you a bottle of beer." The beggar said, "I don't drink, give me some money." The gentleman said, "Then I'll take you to the mahjong parlor, I'll pay, you come and gamble, and if you win, it's yours." The beggar said, "I don't gamble, give me some money." The gentleman said, "I'll take you to the sauna room to enjoy the 'one-stop service,' and I'll cover all the costs." The beggar said, "I don't hire prostitutes, just give me some money." The husband said: Then get in the car. I'll take you home so my wife can see: a good man who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't gamble, and doesn't visit prostitutes can become! 9. A young woman was taking out the trash and accidentally slipped into a pile of trash. Just as she was about to get up, an old man picking up scraps hugged her. The old man sighed, "City folks just don't know how to get by. Such a good wife just doesn't want her and she just doesn't want it." 10. Husband: What time is it now? Wife: Ten o'clock. Husband: Want to get started? Wife: That's too early, no one else is asleep! I'm asking if it's exactly ten o'clock. Wife: Probably at eleven. 11 On a bus, a young woman, unable to stand the stuffy heat inside, took advantage of a moment when no one was paying attention and secretly unzipped her clothes on the back. Sure enough, it felt cool, so she zipped it up again. Soon she felt hot again and unzipped it again. She kept pulling it up and down several times. The man standing behind the woman spoke: "Miss, what exactly are you up to? Why do you keep unzipping my pants?" 12 In class, the beautiful female teacher seriously explained to the children: "乳" means "small." For example, "乳豬" means "little pig," and "夷条" means "little pigeon." Xiaoming, please make a sentence using the character "breast." Xiaoming: My family's financial situation isn't good; we can only live in a 40-square-meter breast room. Teacher: (I'm dizzy)...... This one won't do...... Let's try another one. Xiaoming: Every day when I go to school, I have to jump over the cleavage at my doorstep. Teacher: (fainting)...... No way...... Let's try another one. Xiaoming: ...... Teacher, I really can't think of anything else. I've even thought about my nipples.Teacher: …
13. One person's big toe suddenly turned blue. A miracle doctor diagnosed it as cancer, so it was removed. A few days later, the second toe also turned blue and was removed. Three days later, the entire sole turned blue, so the person had to go to a major hospital. Finally, the experts' consultation diagnosed it as: sock discoloration.
14. Mr. Zhang, who graduated from the police academy, had been married for two years and always felt that his wife was acting strangely, suspecting her of having an affair. One day, Mr. Zhang always found a message from a stranger on his wife's phone, and each time, the content of the message was the same: 'Brother Zhao asked you to help me with something.'!
At eleven o'clock at night, Mr. Zhang caught his cheating wife and the man in the act.
Mr. Zhang scolded: You underestimated me too much. Do you think I don't understand that message? If you read it backwards, it says 'At half past ten, I help you take off your bra.'
15. Someone was eating, and in their beef noodle soup, no piece of beef could be seen. They pointed at the bowl and asked the owner: 'Why is there no beef in the beef noodle soup?' The owner calmly replied: 'Don't take it so seriously. Do you really expect to find a wife inside a wife cake?'
16. One day, Liu Hongtao met foreign guests and went up to speak, saying: 'I am Hong Tao Liu.' The foreign guest said: 'I'm damn still a seven of diamonds.'
17. A couple had a failed contraception and gave birth to a baby boy. The baby was born with clenched fists and kept smiling. The nurse pried his fists open and found a contraceptive pill inside. Then the baby spoke: 'You two wanted to kill me? Not that easy, hahaha......'
18. Simultaneously…
Child: He is taking off his clothes while putting on trousers.
Teacher's comment: Is he really taking them off? Or putting them on?
Topic: 'Among'
Child: One of my left feet is injured.
Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede?
Topic: 'One after another'
Child: After work, Dad came home one after another.
Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?
Topic: 'Sad'
Child: There is a ditch in front of my house that is very sad.
Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder.
Topic: 'Both… and…'
Child: My mom is both short and tall, both fat and thin.
Teacher's comment: Is your mom a Transformer?
Topic: 'Look'
Child: What are you looking at! Haven't you seen it before?Teacher's comments: Don't be too arrogant.
Title: Thriving
Child wrote: Thriving confession.
Teacher's comments: Don't watch too many TV series!
Title: Delicious
Child wrote: Delicious my ass.
Teacher: ..........
Title: Innocent
Child wrote: It's really hot today.
Teacher's comments: You are really innocent.
Title: Indeed
Child said: Yesterday I ate fruit. Then drank cold water.
Teacher's comments: It's a phrase, it can't be separated.
Title: First... then... Example: First eat, then take a bath.
Child: Sir, goodbye!
Teacher's comments: ....................
Title: Moreover
Child: A train passed, moreover moreover moreover moreover.
Teacher's comments: I might as well be dead.
19. A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down, made a wish, and threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well. The husband was stunned, then laughed to himself, saying: "Damn, it's really magical!"
20. A person on a plane for the first time wanted to vomit. The flight attendant took an empty bag. When it was almost full, she took another one and instructed, 'Don't vomit randomly.' When she came back, she saw vomit all over the place. When asked why, the person replied: 'I saw it was nearly full, took another sip, and then everyone around started vomiting...'
