Zhou Yu: I'm unwilling, so unwilling! I, Zhou Gongjin, born with natural beauty and intelligence, why am I always just a little bit worse than Kongming?
King of Hell: This is fate.
Zhou Yu: I'm unwilling. Can you give me a chance for revenge?
King of Hell: Yes! But you will lose your intelligence because of this.
Zhou Yu: (looking confused) How can this be? Will I be able to surpass Kongming if I become stupid?
King of Hell: This is fate. Do you want revenge or not?
Zhou Yu: (gritting his teeth) Fine!
The wheel of reincarnation carried Zhou Yu away, and a chubby baby named A Dou was about to be born.
(Liu Bei's bedroom, Lady Mi is in labor.)
Imperial Doctor: Take a deep breath, push downwards! Come on, give it your all!!!
Lady Mi: Ooo~~ Ooo~~ Ooo~~ Shit! It's coming out!!!!!! Yeah!!
Imperial Doctor: Big one~~~~ Finally pushed it out? After you finish, shouldn't you get back to bed and continue giving birth?
Liu Bei: Sigh, giving birth at the same time as having diarrhea, this seems like a bad omen! My wife really is hopeless...
Lady Mi: Damn, your wife is the hopeless one!!
Imperial Doctor: Everyone quiet, I've already felt the baby's private!
Liu Bei: It's about to be born?
Imperial Doctor: Bingo! One, two, three, pull~~~!
Lady Mi: Damn, you pulled the wrong way! Hurry up and put my intestines back in properly, okay?
Imperial Doctor: I am so Sorry!
(A short while later)
Imperial Doctor: Sorry, this time I will definitely get it! One, two, three, pull~~~ It's out!!!
Liu Bei: %@#^!% Quickly bring the baby over so dad can see!
Imperial Doctor: Here you are! (holds up the baby for Liu Bei to closely examine)
Liu Bei: Wow~~~~~~ A monster!!! A red face, black body, and even holding a feather fan!!!
Imperial Doctor: I also sensed something strange, forgive me for not daring to speak.
Liu Bei: You might as well speak directly.
Imperial Doctor: Lady Mi gave birth after only seven months of pregnancy. I suspect some private affair!
Lady Mi: I'm being wronged!
Guan Yu: It really has nothing to do with me!
Zhang Fei: Yeah, it really wasn't the three of us—me, er brother, and Kongming!Kongming: (kneeling on the ground) Amen, come quickly and watch Jesus with us! Congratulations, my lord!!!
Liu Bei: If the strategist hadn't reminded me, I almost believed the treacherous ministers and mistakenly killed the loyal and the worthy! Doctor, aren't you going to move aside?
Doctor: You guys are ruthless…
Lady Mi: Look quickly! The baby seems to be about to speak!
Baby boy: Meee~~~~~~~~
Liu Bei: Oh my god! He can already call for mom right after being born!
Guan Yu & Zhang Fei: A prodigy! He's basically the reincarnation of Zhou Yu!
Liu Bei: Strategist, what should we name such a smart child?
Kongming: Let's just call him Liu Shan! Choosing a name with multiple pronunciations leaves room for future debate!
Liu Bei: Alright, then Liu Shan it is! What about a nickname?
Wang Xiaoming: Here! Why call me?
Liu Bei: Darn, I didn't call you to appear, you don't have a role in this episode! I meant to ask: what should Liu Shan's nickname be? Everyone can freely give their opinions!
Zhang Fei: Ah Mao! It gives a lively and energetic feeling!
Guan Yu: Ah Gou? Is that okay? Not okay? Thanks!
Kongming: Ah Dou! Ah Dou, Ah Dou, nonsense and silly––yeah!
Sun Qian: Ah Niu? Give a name like Xiang Shaolong, it will be very popular with girls in the future!
Lady Mi: Achoo! Darn, I just gave birth, did I catch a cold? Everything below my toes is numb and freezing…
Liu Bei: I think we should just use Xiaoming, after all, it's a well-known human name…
Kongming: Yay!
(In the blink of an eye, winter passes and spring comes, and Liu Shan is one year old)
Liu Bei: Today is Ah Dou's first birthday. According to the tradition from our hometown, today we'll let Ah Dou do the “Zhua Zhou” ceremony.
Zhang Fei: Zhou Zhou? Sounds like the name of a conductor?
Guan Yu: Are you stupid or what? Not Zhou Zhou, it's Zhua Zhou!
Zhang Fei: Zhua Zhou? You've heard of it?
Guan Yu: No.
Zhang Fei: Darn! Big brother, what is “Zhua Zhou”?
Liu Bei: It's when a child turns one year old. Place several items in front of him, like Kizi's "Xi You Ji," a foot-scraping axe, silver coins, peaches, and see which item he grabs…
Guan Yu: Oh? So what do the things he grabs represent?Liu Bei: If he grabs money, it means he likes money more; if he grabs a book, it means he'll like books more in the future.
Guan & Zhang: Damn, you're tricking me???
Liu Bei: If he grabs an axe, it means he'll like axes more in the future; if he grabs a peach—
Zhang Fei: It means he likes peaches more! What the heck, really?
Liu Bei: You blockhead, grabbing a peach means he'll have a long life! And you still dare to say you're really sound-minded? I'll hit you!
Guan Yu: …Then why don't we just put everything out now and let A'Duo grab them!
(A little while later, the grabbing starts)
Liu Bei: Little baby, grab quickly! Grab whichever one you like! Let's see if in the future you'll be more like Bickering Shell or Spicy Numbness? More blessed or more fated?
Guan & Zhang: Yeah, yeah! Go grab your favorite!
A'Duo: Goo-bee goo!!! (I grab!)
Liu Bei: Damn, don't grab my little baby! Let go! And you're holding so tightly…