1. A certain gentleman stayed at a hotel and called the bar at midnight: How much is the cheapest lady? Answer: "One hundred, but ugly. The pretty one is five hundred." "The gentleman said he wants the ugly one." After the lady arrived, he let her sit naked on the sofa and went to bed to sleep soundly until dawn. The lady asked in confusion, "Why did you call me here?" "Mr. Mou replied, "There are too many mosquitoes in the room!" (This story shows that as long as you change your mindset, any resource can be used by me.) 2. A woman is extremely ugly, and even ghosts run away at sight. A poor designer made her into a New Year painting, with the slogan saying: Hang it at the door to ward off evil; Hang it by the bedside for contraception! This designer won an award and entered the middle-class class. 3. A mosquito enters the city, starving. Seeing a young lady's prominent breasts, he plunged in and bit hard, only to find her mouth covered in silicone. He looked up and sighed, "Sigh, food safety is a serious problem!" Where can I find safe milk? 4. A farmer went to the city to buy condoms but forgot what to say. He wandered in front of the pharmacy counter for a long time but still couldn't remember. In the end, he quietly asked the female salesperson: Miss, do you have plastic bags for JB for sale? 5. A couple of lovers have sex, and the man always likes to say: "I'm going to kill you!" After a few days apart, the woman finds the man's workplace and asks: Is there something you need? The woman said softly, "It's nothing, I just don't want to live anymore......" 6. A group of women waited for an ultrasound when the nurse shouted: "Line up! Color B stands on the left; Black and White B stand on the right." A woman didn't understand, lifted her skirt and pulled down her underwear, and asked the nurse: "What kind of B do you think mine is?" The nurse replied irritably: "You're a bull B!" 7. The hen complained to the bull: "Humans tell me to lay more eggs, but I plan to have children myself. That's so unfair!" The old bull said: "What the hell is that? Everyone in the world drinks my wife's milk, who the hell calls me 'dad'!" 8. A blind couple agreed to make a secret sign for love. The man said, "Play cards." The woman said, "Let's begin." The young man next door often heard about playing cards and wondered how the blind man would play. So he peeked and saw that it was exactly what happened. One day, the young man sneaked into the house while the blind man was out, and said to the blind woman, "Let's play cards." The blind woman said, "Let's begin." So the two of them ****. The young man was very skilled, and at the climax, the blind woman kept praising, "Good cards." "At night, the blind man wanted to play cards with his wife again, but the blind woman said, "Didn't you already play once during the day?"The blind man, upon hearing this, felt both anxious and angry, exclaiming, "Oh no, someone is cheating on the cards!"
9. The female leader was returning home at night when suddenly two men dragged her into a car. One man threatened, "Behave yourself, you are being kidnapped for sexual assault." Hearing this, the female leader laughed and scolded, "Damn it, for such an enjoyable thing, why make it so tense? I was so scared, I thought I was being investigated!"
1. Preview
Jia, Yi, and Bing went on a trip together. Jia caught a cold... At night, everyone slept in the same bed, with Jia in the middle.
In the middle of the night... Jia sneezed a huge sneeze, covering Yi and Bing's faces in his secretions.
Yi and Bing: Next time, give us a warning...
Half an hour later, Jia said, "Watch out..."
Upon hearing this, Yi and Bing quickly buried themselves under the blanket, making sure there was no connection with the outside world.
...As a result, Jia farted.
2. One thing outweighs another
In college, there was a guy in our group who spoke without filters, but we often refuted him.
Every time he was refuted, he would angrily say, "I curse your girlfriend to not be a virgin!"
This trick actually worked; we had no way to counter it.
One day, he repeated his trick and even escalated by saying, "I curse all your dormmates' girlfriends to not be virgins!"
At this time, the usually quiet guy in the dorm said, while everyone was silent:
"We sincerely wish your girlfriend to be a virgin forever...""At this moment, the usually quiet senior in the dormitory spoke up when everyone was silent: 'We sincerely wish that your girlfriend will always remain a virgin...'"
