Canran brought a few more jokes

4. One day, eating at a rice noodle shop, the service was very slow and I was very hungry. Finally, I couldn't hold it in and slammed the table, roaring. I originally wanted to say, 'If you don't serve the noodles, I'll flip the table!' But I ended up saying: 'Boss!!!! If you don't serve the noodles, I'll eat the table!!!!' The whole restaurant was silent for 3 seconds, then everyone burst out laughing under the tables... so embarrassing...

5. My parents were arguing. My dad, in anger, said: 'I'll get out!'

6. In high school, while playing basketball, A had the ball and selflessly passed it to B, who scored easily. After a while, B had the ball, and A shouted loudly for him to pass it. But B shot it himself. A got very angry and yelled: 'I really was blind just now...' The whole court laughed hysterically.

7. I remember our class monitor in elementary school was extremely strict. During a self-study class, the classroom was very noisy. After trying to maintain order a few times, the monitor couldn't take it anymore, stood up, slammed the desk, and shouted angrily: 'If anyone makes noise again, I'll break their mouth!!!'... The whole class went silent.

8. In college, we asked a friend about Manchester United's results. He excitedly said: 'Manchester United lost, and Beckham got two yellow cards and was sent off!'

9. In college, during a lecture about a new material, a teacher said about its properties and functions: 'The sexual function of this material is incomparable to the old materials... oh, no...'

10. Just starting college, during military training, the squad leader had some accent we couldn't identify and shouted commands — 'Drill left!' 'Drill right!'

11. In college, I overheard a girl ordering food: 'Chef, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour shredded potatoes, but don't put any potatoes in it!'

12. In the second year of high school, our Chinese teacher was an older teacher who had just transferred from Nanchang to Beijing. He had a very strong accent. His son got into Tsinghua University's Architecture Department, which was also the reason he came to Beijing. He was very proud of his son and always talked about him, always saying: 'My son is in the Frog University Toad Department'... If the 'son' (蛾子) reaches the Frog (清华) and Toad (建筑) departments, doesn't that basically turn into a snack?...

13. At noon, when cooking, my mom gave me a bowl of carrots: 'Go, cut the carrots into meat cubes!'

14. Just over ten minutes into class, my deskmate raised his hand and said: 'Teacher, I want to go to the bathroom.' The English teacher, very displeased, said: 'How old are you, and you still need to go to the bathroom?'15. I have a classmate who has been studying for the Level 3 Computer Exam. One day while playing soccer, another classmate dribbled the ball to the baseline, and all I heard him shout was: Enter! Enter! (Cross the ball)

16. I remember once I went to buy a fruit called Elizabeth. I blurted out: "Boss, how much is Shakespeare?" The boss was stunned on the spot.

17. The physics teacher was explaining waves: "This is a thick spring. I push it from both ends. Look, hasn't it become dense (constipated)?"

18. I heard from a classmate that once a girl in their dorm went to buy sanitary pads. She said to the shopkeeper: "One pack of sanitary pads." The shopkeeper actually asked: "Do you want the three-flavor or the spicy one?" The girl was stunned for a moment, then said: "Three-flavor, please. I'm afraid I can't handle the spicy one..."

19. A senior in college, studying educational psychology, was late and walked into class. She glanced at the blackboard. The professor, annoyed, asked her to answer the question on the board. She stammered and said: "Sexy and sexual theory, that's too hard to explain!" The whole class burst into laughter. (Note: The professor's original topic was: On Rationality and Sensibility)

20. A close male classmate of mine fell stiffly to the ground. I, wanting to show concern, asked: "Your butt hurts, right?" But I accidentally said: "Your butt is dead, right?" Sweat~~~ The guy got up, patted his butt, farted, and said: "Not dead, still breathing!" I literally fainted.

21. I have a friend who just watched "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" and became very interested in the ‘Dog-Beating Staff Technique,' often joking with others. One day, he did it again. He kicked someone and shouted: "Kick the dog's leg!" Everyone laughed hysterically. Feeling awkward, he kicked again and shouted: "Dog kicks!"

22. In high school, I worked during the holidays at a restaurant as a waiter. Since I was still a kid and it was my first job, I was very nervous. I originally wanted to ask the manager if they needed part-time workers, and thought saying 'do you need extra hands?' would sound more tactful. Instead, I said: "Manager, do you need thugs?" At that moment, I almost wished I could vanish into a hole.

23. I remember when KFC launched the 'Fragrant Wings' promotion, I hadn't seen the advertisement and only heard it from someone else. I kept thinking Liu Xiang was endorsing it for KFC. When I got to KFC, I directly told the server I wanted Liu Xiang wings...24. One noon, Mom asked my older brother to move the dining table to the side. My brother didn't budge for a long time, and Mom got frustrated and said it like this:
"Did you hear me?! I asked you to move the table a couple of kilometers to the side!"
=_=!!!

25. Our teacher is really awesome. One day he said this: "Take out your homework, and let's check the answers. Mark an X on the correct ones, and then write the correct answer on top of them…" (The end)