Section 25
After listening to the words he said earlier, I was secretly a bit surprised, but quickly calmed down. I remained silent for a moment, then spoke: "Zhijie, how long have we known each other?"
"What did you say?" I wasn't sure if he hadn't heard clearly or didn't expect me to ask that.
"I'm asking you, how many years have we known each other?" I raised my voice and said it again.
Ling Zhijie squatted down and looked at me incredulously. In a deep voice, he said, "What do you mean by that?"
I smiled, looked into his eyes, and said, "You once said I was the person you trusted the most. Is that still the case?"
Ling Zhijie also stared into my eyes, as if trying hard to see through my mind at that moment. After a long while, he looked away and nodded.
"Okay. Then let me ask you again: you were once the person I trusted the most. Is that still the case?"
Ling Zhijie glanced at me, then suddenly stood up and walked a few steps to the side. I knew the weight of my words was heavy enough to make him extremely anxious, and his movement at this moment showed that he was trying hard to suppress his emotions.
Although I couldn't bear to see him like this, I was even more unwilling to see the trust between us fall into an unprecedented crisis.
I steeled myself and said, "You care about Xinjie more than I do, right?"
Sure enough, Ling Zhijie stopped, looked at me, opened his mouth, but didn't say a word.
But that wasn't enough. I continued to raise the stakes: "If I didn't exist in this world, Xinjie would probably be with you, right?"
After saying this, I wanted to further raise the stakes, but I realized it was no longer necessary because I saw flames flare up in Ling Zhijie's eyes. That flame suddenly surged toward me, and I only felt my neck tighten again. But it lasted just two seconds, and then Ling Zhijie's hand relaxed.
He stepped back two steps, raised his right hand, and pointed it straight at me. In front of his hand was a pitch-black hole.
I clearly saw that it was—the muzzle of a gun.
Date: 2010-5-28 15:03:00
I saw the gun's muzzle, but couldn't see his expression.
This action alone made me understand everything. A huge stone fell in my heart, shattering all hope.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the bullet to pierce my skull.But after a long time, there was no shot, only a slightly trembling voice: "He Ning, I didn't expect that we would come to this point today." He paused for a moment and continued, "You're right, I care about Xin Jie, more than you do! More than anyone else in this world! I never told you this, and I never intended to tell you! Because this is my deepest secret, and I don't want anyone to know…" I sneered and responded to his words, "Heh, do you think I can't see it? From childhood to now, who really understands whom? Who knows what's in whose heart? I know you have repressed so much of your own feelings for me, for Xin Jie. But there's no way—many things are just like this, we are powerless, we only hope to keep this seemingly beautiful state going… But I know, someday this beauty will be broken. Heh… the human mind is indeed fragile; even the strongest cannot endure years of emotional torment. So, after so many years, you finally can't hold on, you planned all these bizarre events just to drive me to the brink of mental collapse, to make me die a mysterious death! Then! You can run away with Xin Jie and live freely! Right?" My throat was hoarse and weak, as if reflecting the very purpose of my life at this moment. Yes, dying at the hands of my best friend, I am willing. Letting my best friend live happily with the woman I love most, I am willing. It's just that I don't understand, Ling Zhijie, why would you do such meaningless actions to make everything look so grand and solemn? Ling Zhijie's expression was still hidden in the dark, but I saw that his raised hand gradually relaxed. Just as I began to feel puzzled by his movements, he shouted loudly, suddenly raised his arm, and I saw a flash of fire ahead, the gun went off. Date: 2010-5-30 1:04:00 The bullet whistled past my ear. I hadn't even understood what happened when I heard Ling Zhijie shout, "With this shot, He Ning is dead!" Then, I saw him turn the gun toward the back of his own temple, immediately fired another shot, and after shooting, continued to shout, "With this shot, Ling Zhijie is dead!"He looked at me one last time and walked toward the main gate without turning his head. I froze on the spot, unsure for a moment whether I had done right or wrong. Everything felt oppressively terrible, a feeling more unbearable than death, hundreds of times more painful. But my intuition told me I had to catch up with him. I struggled to stand up again, but as soon as I lifted my foot to take a step, the world started spinning, my body could no longer bear it, my consciousness was pulled away, and I collapsed to the ground... I don't know how long passed, but I seemed to smell the fishy scent of water wafting from that distant lake of memories... Date: 2010-05-30 12:22:00 "Hey! A Ning, wake up! Wake up quickly!" A youthful voice accompanied by the roar of water sounded in my ears. I opened my eyes and saw a brilliant cluster of stars, seemingly close yet also far away. A bright, dazzling full moon hung in the night sky, dreamlike and lonely. From the afterglow of the lunar halo extended a similarly dreamlike hand; I grasped it, feeling that real force pull me up until I sat upright. I rubbed my head and glanced toward the source of the roaring water not far behind me, then turned my head and gave a wry smile to the youthful face beside me: “Heh, didn't expect I'd still be alive…” The owner of the youthful face patted my shoulder and turned to pack his own hiking bag, saying in a similarly teasing tone: "There's no time for you to laugh now. We need to find a safe place quickly; otherwise, this night will be unbearable." I nodded, picked up my backpack from the side, and started walking downstream along the riverbank with him. "A Ning, after coming out this time with me, do you regret it?" he suddenly asked. "Regret! Tremendously regret it! Nothing good ever comes from following you; even if I don't die, I get such a beating—I'm so full of remorse!" I replied, pretending to be serious. He turned around in front of me, punched my chest, and said, “You little rascal! You'll have plenty of chances to regret later!” Then he laughed heartily, and I laughed along. That summer vacation of senior year, Ling Zhijie and I trekked through the primeval jungle on the China-Vietnam border, made simple bamboo rafts, and floated along a tributary of the Lancang River.Two days later in the afternoon, we fell from a nearly twenty-meter-high waterfall. We survived the ordeal, and even more fortunately, we were not injured, so we continued to march downstream. That night, we caught a small python and lit a bonfire on the riverbank, but we did not expect the aroma of the meat to attract animals foraging at night. Ling Zhijie was the first to notice movement in the nearby bushes. When I turned to look, I just saw a huge black shadow rush out from the bushes straight toward my back.
