Actually, I still can't let you go… It's just that I pretended… I won't mention it again… Fool, I love you

Someone, once loved, then it ended.
A phrase, once spoken, then regretted.
A wound, once felt, then numbed.
A heart, once trembled, then shattered.

A kinship, once too close, then severed.
A friendship, once too near, then diluted.
A love, once too deep, then the finale.
A crossroads, once too difficult, then the choice wrong.

Some things, after time passes, will deteriorate.
Some matters, after much development, will also deteriorate.
Some feelings, with time and distance, will depreciate.
Some pains, the longer they brew, the harsher they erupt.

Sometimes, I want to say those three words, but have no courage.
Sometimes, I want to say another three words, but cannot bear to.
Sometimes, I want to remember deliberately, but always forget.
Sometimes, I want to forget, but always fail.

The only one I want to love, I cannot.
The only one I want to hate, impossible.
The only one I want to keep, powerless.
The only one I want to let go, cannot.

Loving someone, the angel never leaves.
Thinking of someone, since opening my eyes.
Looking at someone, where does the gaze linger.
Dreaming of someone, when does the smile appear on my lips.

Want to say, I still like you.
Want to ask, do you still like me.
Want to understand, what you are thinking.
Want to hide, all the pain and hurt.

Want to forget, the beautiful past.
Want to recall, yet it gradually fades.
Want peace, yet the mind is restless.
Want to cry, yet tears are already gone.

Once imagined, you and I still together.
Once dreamed, I would have you for life.
But reality, seeing you, I avoid.
Not seeing you, yet searching.
And now, cannot express that feeling.
Cannot speak that longing.

Actually,
I have always secretly liked you.
It's just that
whenever I am unintentionally hurt by you,
I secretly run away.
Because
I go to a world where it's just me,
Crying alone,
Hurting alone,
Not letting anyone know
The deepest wounds,
I must disguise.

Remember,
I will not share my pain and unhappiness with you.
That is because I am selfish.
I will only share my happiness and joy with you.
That is because love is selfish.
I will only give to you.
So,
The wounds I suffer,
I never blame you.
OrPerhaps it's just my self-indulgent emotions. But liking someone doesn't require the other person to like you back, right? Once, thank you for making me so happy, so joyful, so blissful, and also making my heart towards you die. But I still secretly love you, always and always. Finally, I want to ask you: if we really can't be together, should I choose to leave, leave this place where you are? Should I choose to forget? How can I forget you? Waiting for your answer, always and always, I will keep waiting. Perhaps you will never give me a real answer because I am too foolish, love too deeply, and cannot let myself go. I will wait…