Beloved Friend:
It has been a long time since we last corresponded, and I have been thinking of you. Perhaps this letter comes too hastily, but I cannot suppress my own passion, and maybe you will find it somewhat inexplicable.
Yet everything may have happened unintentionally, so swiftly that even I could not have anticipated it. Perhaps I was born with a special feeling toward the moon, a particular, indescribable attachment. From long, long ago, I have liked to gaze at the moon all by myself, letting its light quietly wash over my body and heart, purifying my soul, and quietly experiencing the faint, eternal tranquility it brings me.
To me, it always possesses an indescribable, inexpressible charm that captivates my soul, leaving me intoxicated and enamored, endlessly lingering.
I do not know why, from the first time I saw you, I thought of the moon. It puzzled me, and yet drove me to madness. Perhaps it is your gentle, moonlike temperament, or perhaps, perhaps it is simply because the moon has always been my guardian deity, the object of my lifelong obsession.
Perhaps there is no need to probe too deeply. No matter what answer I find, it cannot change one fact: from the day I met you, your gentle smile has occupied all of me, inseparable.
Originally, I did not believe in 'love at first sight.' I thought it was merely the ridiculous invention of novelists to trick people out of money.
But I was wrong. From the day I saw you, I knew I was wrong. Even beyond all emotions I could have imagined, it came with even greater intensity!
I do not know if this is fate, nor whether it is destiny. Perhaps everything has long been arranged in the unseen, and I am inevitably to endure such torment.
I originally thought it would be just a chance, unintentional encounter, laughing and greeting like with others, then turning away, waving my hand, and returning to my own life.
I could not even imagine that two strangers, completely unfamiliar with each other, would ignite such dazzling sparks in their hearts from the very first meeting.
I do not know if you still remember that night, when you said you had to leave, and how utterly lost I felt, as if my heart had suddenly been struck—a complete blank.
Shallow words cannot express the frustration, regret, and attachment I felt at that moment. So this sense of loss has lingered in my heart ever since.
At that time, a voice deep in my heart said to me, 'Haha, you are doomed!'Truly, being captivated by his words, I tried to restrain myself, foolishly thinking that I would soon forget. But on the contrary, it clung to me like a maggot in the bone, impossible to shake off. I still do not know whether, whether I will forever be trapped by this affection. Since we parted, there has hardly been a moment when I have not thought of you. That profound longing constantly screams in my heart, that voice weeping and pleading, echoing in my mind, enveloping my entire being, tearing me apart. Especially at night, when the moon is high in the sky, pure and bright, half-missing, half-full, like poetry and a dream, what was my state of mind then, what kind of feeling—perhaps only this vast sky and the bright moon know! Perhaps it was destined in a previous life that upon seeing you, I told myself, maybe this is the person I have been searching for and waiting for so desperately for seventeen years. Gentle, serene yet lively; elegant, sweet yet charming; pure as the moon, gentle as jade, the one who strikes a chord in my heart and resonates with my soul. Legend says that in ancient Greece, there was a myth: humans were originally creatures with two heads and two faces, four hands and four feet. Later, the creator god, fearing that humans were becoming too intelligent, split them in half with a single strike. Thus, men and women came into the world, destined to spend their lives searching for their other halves, giving rise to countless timeless tragedies, the cries of “Until the seas dry up and the rocks crumble, I would never part from you”; thus came many sorrowful and plaintive stories, and countless joys and sorrows. Yet no matter if they were separated by thousands of miles, regardless of wealth or poverty, youth or old age, once they meet, even if they scatter into dust, they still carry each other within. Perhaps such legends are just legends, stories are just stories, but emotions are the only reality. Sometimes I feel that life is like a journey, and no matter how difficult, exhausting, or unfair it is, I can smile it off; what is unbearable is loneliness, that inexpressible solitude, even not understanding what it is all for. Hence comes the helplessness and desolation of 'Though a thousand charms exist, with whom can I share them?' Sometimes, listening to an old song, tears fall unwillingly, always hoping that someone could accompany me through it. Once, I painted a picture: a young boy, sitting with knees hugged in the wind, no rain, yet tears drifting in the breeze. The painting was titled 'Waiting for a Lifetime.'But there are too many things in the world that can be encountered but not sought. I don't know if I have really encountered it now, and I don't know what kind of state of mind one would be in when facing something they have sought for a lifetime, suddenly appearing before them: joy, sorrow, relief, sadness, bewilderment... Perhaps all imaginable emotions surge into the heart at once— and so I am confused again... Scribbling at will, completely unaware of what I'm saying. But I think you will understand my heart... Wishing you a wonderful life! Yours, Soaring 2012-9-23
