The little girl who begs

In the autumn of 2005, the streets of Beijing began to turn cold. There weren't many pedestrians on the roads, and occasionally a few yellowing leaves would fall from the trees. The green leaves along the streets also started to ripen. I really liked Beijing in the autumn, and I loved the colors of the autumn there.

Just as I was immersed in the beautiful autumn scenery by the roadside, I came to know a family—a mother with her two daughters sitting by the roadside begging. There were few pedestrians on the road, and occasionally you could see someone walking past this mother and her daughters. Above them was a large poplar tree, and from time to time, a few yellow leaves could be seen falling from high above in front of them. When I approached them, I saw that the little girl in her mother's arms had already fallen asleep. The child was very small, and despite the loud honking from buses nearby, she slept very comfortably in her mother's arms as if the roadside noise had nothing to do with her. On the other side of the mother was another little girl, who was many years older than the girl in her mother's arms. In front of them was a jar for begging, and behind them lay a few drink bottles and several fast-food lunch boxes.

Seeing my arrival, the mother didn't react much, but the little girl's eyes kept staring at the camera in my hands. Seeing the girl constantly staring at my camera, I noticed that her complexion was purplish. I asked the mother if the child was hungry or dressed too lightly, but the mother told me that the child was sick. When I asked why she hadn't taken the child to a hospital quickly, the mother helplessly told me that they had no money, so they came to Beijing to beg, hoping to get some money first before treating the child. Her words surprised me, and it was precisely because of them that I entered their life.

In fact, before I entered their lives, there were other reasons involved. I used to often bring clothes and food to visit this family. Every time, I would often encounter a middle-aged woman selling Turkish kebabs at a roadside shop. She told me that the family were all frauds—they begged by the roadside during the day, and at night they would stay in a grand hotel.She advised me not to help them. With these questions in mind, I got to know the head of this family, the middle-aged man who was busy picking up trash, the master of their household. The head of the family is named Yang Rucai, 31 years old. According to Yang Rucai, he has two daughters. The elder daughter is named Yang Dan, 7 years old this year. The younger daughter is named Zhou Hua, who is just 1 year old this year. The mother and two daughters begging by the roadside are his wife and two daughters. Their family comes from Xiaoyangtang Village, Xue Lou West Team, Xia Bali Temple Brigade, Linqi Township, Minquan County, Henan Province. When it gets close to dark, Yang Rucai will put down the work of organizing recyclables and hurry over to pick up his wife and children. The child on Yang Rucai's back is his elder daughter Yang Dan, who is 7 years old. According to Yang Rucai, Yang Dan has suffered from congenital heart disease since she was young. Because the family has no money for treatment, they came to Beijing and currently can only rely on scavenging recyclables and begging to save money, in preparation for surgery for Yang Dan in the future. But now, Yang Dan's condition has worsened to the point that even walking is very difficult for her, and she can barely walk with the help of her father and mother. The first time I entered Yang Dan's home, I began to doubt the scene in front of me. Autumn had already passed, and the cold winter was gradually approaching. Seeing little Yang Dan and her family sleeping on the ground like this, I began to worry whether Yang Dan and her younger sister might get frostbite. I also began to question the truthfulness of what the middle-aged woman selling Turkish kebabs in the nearby small shop had said. Even though I began to doubt, I was still concerned that what I saw might not be the real situation, and maybe they had another place to stay. With this purpose, I began to verify whether they had always lived in this place. Sometimes I guessed that they must secretly go to a hotel to rest at night. Gradually, without realizing it, I also became Yang Dan's neighbor, and Yang Dan became my good friend.

The weather grew colder, and sometimes Yang Dan would cry from the cold. Every time this happened, Yang Dan's father would take her small hand and slowly walk back and forth on the small dirt road along the railway. Yang Dan's father told me it was a warm-up exercise. Yang Dan walked very slowly with her father because if she walked even a little faster, her breathing would become labored. Yang Dan's father sadly told me that Yang Dan's heart disease had already reached the terminal stage.Unknowingly, I had spent quite some time with Yang Dan's family. Seeing me often holding a black camera and taking pictures of their family, Yang Dan's mother then asked me to take a family portrait for them. Once, Yang Dan's mother also asked me if I was a journalist. I told her that I was not a journalist, but had come to Beijing to find a job. Recently, I hadn't been able to find work, so I had no choice but to temporarily live with them for a while. When I said this, I felt my face starting to heat up.

Days passed like this, and Yang Dan's whole family's life continued according to a fixed routine. Every morning, Yang Dan's father would carry Yang Dan to where her mother and sister were begging, and then Yang Dan's father would start busy collecting scrap everywhere. When it was about to get dark, he would take them back home. The weather began to get windy, and sometimes the wind carried soil with it. Yang Dan's father told me that winter was really coming. Little Yang Dan was a quiet child who only once told me that she was very cold. Seeing Yang Dan's flushed face with a runny nose, I could only cover her with my quilt. Because I gave the quilt to Yang Dan, I also had to say goodbye to living with them.

During the more than two months of living together, I realized I had matured a lot. Although I was often awakened from dreams by the cold, I felt that compared to them, I was very fortunate. I would often invite Yang Dan and her parents to eat at small roadside restaurants. At first, when going to eat at the roadside restaurants, Yang Dan's parents didn't dare to enter the restaurants because they were worried that the dirt on their clothes would prevent the restaurant from serving them. Yang Dan's favorite dish was fish-flavored shredded pork. Each time we ate at the restaurant, Yang Dan was initially hesitant to eat. Later, I learned that whenever the restaurant was crowded, she would become very cautious. Once, there were only me and her family in the restaurant, and that time Yang Dan ate a lot. The next day, Yang Dan's mother told me that perhaps Yang Dan had eaten too much at the restaurant the day before, which upset her stomach today. After each meal, Yang Dan and her family would pass by the railway.The railway track was originally surrounded by barbed wire. I don't know who made a very small opening in the tightly enclosed wire. Initially, we could have gone around through the intersection ahead, but Yang Dan's father didn't want to walk extra, so he took a shortcut through the small hole in the wire. Every time Yang Dan's father put little Yang Dan down, I could see the sweat on his forehead. When asked the reason, Yang Dan's mother told me that Yang Dan's father had always been in poor health and had been picky about food since childhood, never eating much. Time quickly entered November, and November in Beijing had already become very cold. However, even in the cold winter, it was still possible to see clear skies frequently. Whenever the sky was clear, I would ask Yang Dan's mother to take out the quilt to sun it, which would make it more comfortable for sleeping. Yang Dan's mother told me there was no need to take it out because sunlight could directly reach the quilt. She laughed happily when she said this. Every time I tried to raise funds for Yang Dan's surgery outside, many times I truly wanted to give up. I had approached many charitable organizations, but in the end, none gave me a clear answer. Many times I wanted to quit, and I stopped meeting little Yang Dan, because I was afraid of seeing her eyes. Once, when I accompanied Yang Dan's family for a meal, I got drunk, and in my drunken state, I told Yang Dan, who was eating, that I would definitely cure her illness. However, after repeatedly hitting obstacles, I truly didn't have the courage to visit little Yang Dan.

This begging jar was picked up from a garbage pile by little Yang Dan's father. He told me that when he first found it, it was full of paint, and later, he struggled a lot to clean it completely. Every time I saw the empty begging jar, I felt very distressed, and many times I wanted to stand by the roadside to beg, to help little Yang Dan raise money for her surgery. Time seems to be a very reliable companion; whether you are anxious or not, it steadily moves forward without any pause. Little Yang Dan's life remained the same as when I first met them, seemingly without any change. The only difference is that there is now one more person who often comes to visit her. Spending more time with Yang Dan, from unfamiliarity to familiarity, took more than two months. Now, Yang Dan and her family regard me as a member of their household.Whenever the bustling city quiets down, I always chat for a while with Yang Dan's family. During every conversation, Yang Dan would sit there dazedly listening. And when we laughed out loud at certain topics, little Yang Dan still stared at us silently. However, Yang Dan's younger sister was much more lively; from time to time, she would walk up to me and call out 'Uncle Zhang,' then shyly hide in her mother's arms and peek at me.

The nearby McDonald's has been running promotions, and I often receive little promotional balloons by chance. Looking at the pretty balloons, I couldn't bear to throw them away, and the balloons I didn't throw away naturally became toys for Yang Dan. Every time I gave Yang Dan a balloon, she would hold it in her hands for a few minutes and then pass it to her sister. The balloon in her sister's hands became her treasure, even to the point that she still held it in her hands first thing in the morning. One morning, just upon waking, Yang Dan suddenly had an episode. Poor little Yang Dan trembled all over, struggling to breathe, and at the moment her breathing was most difficult, she clearly said the words 'Uncle Zhang, save me' from her mouth. Yang Dan struggled painfully on her bed, and her parents didn't know what to do. Yang Dan's father kept his head down in silence, while her mother held a towel that had already turned completely black, continuously wiping her tears. Yang Dan's sister, on the other hand, looked curiously at her trembling older sister. When I took the towel from Yang Dan's mother to wipe the sweat off her face, I noticed that the water in the washbasin could no longer be used. I asked Yang Dan's mother to fetch more water to wipe her face, but she told me that the water left was collected from the rain a few days ago and had now run out.

The next morning, I hurried over to visit Yang Dan, and to my delight, she was much better. Seeing me arrive, Yang Dan's sister leaned against her mother happily smiling, while Yang Dan seemed not to notice my arrival. Yang Dan always loved resting in her mother's arms, watching the trains speeding past beside them. Yang Dan's mother told me that since Yang Dan had been frequently having episodes recently, she kept insisting on taking the train home. Her mother also said that they would go home in a while because the baby she was carrying was about to be born.In Beijing, the chances of rain in winter are not very high. When it doesn't rain for a long time, Xiao Yangdan's family's daily water supply would become insufficient. Because she hadn't washed her face for a long time, the dust on Xiao Yangdan's little sister's face began to accumulate. That day, the weather warmed up a lot, and Yangdan held some small change in her hands, asking me to take her to the hospital. Looking at Yangdan's eager eyes, I really didn't know how to respond to her request. These days I had been hoping for a reply from someone who claimed to be a philanthropist and was going to give a speech at the School of International Studies at Peking University. Just a month ago, when I passed by Peking University campus, I saw red banners that said the chairman of a famous Hong Kong clothing company would come to Peking University to speak about his charitable life. When I saw this news, I almost fainted with joy; now, Yangdan surely had a chance. After listening to his passionate speech, I was the first to express my hope that he could help Yangdan. In front of the full audience, I deeply bowed to him three times. I cried while bowing, and during my bow, I saw Yangdan smiling at me. Afterwards, the chairman told me to wait for his news. When I was at the hospital entrance, making the fifth call to one of the chairman's senior managers, I heard a voice telling me not to call him again in the future. At that moment, sitting in the hospital corridor, I felt completely hopeless. In my despair, I went back to Yangdan's home once again. From