When I started elementary school, SARS came; when I started junior high, avian flu came; when I started high school, swine flu came. Finally, we are about to graduate and can enjoy 2012. In high school, we were busy like grandchildren, but could still be happy like idiots; in college, we were idle like idiots, yet could not regain the joy we had as grandchildren. When we just became adults, we watched 'Struggle' with hope. When we hesitated, we watched 'My Youth Who Decides,' and just when we were about to suddenly see the light, a show called 'Dwelling Narrowness' crushed us completely. In despair, we watched '2012' and immediately felt calm. Why buy a house? It's going to collapse sooner or later! If in 2012 the earth didn't split, buildings didn't fall, toilets didn't explode, and nobody ran away, I will, on January 4, 2013 (love you forever), this once-in-history big day, find someone I love and start thinking about entering the hall of marriage! Above a bachelor's degree is a master's, above a master's is a PhD, above a PhD is a postdoc, and above a postdoc? If you're brave enough, two more years makes you a warrior, five more years makes you a hero, seven more years makes you a martyr. After a martyr? The country will launch Saint Warriors: two years for bronze, five years for silver, seven years for gold. Time is the best teacher, but the regret is—ultimately, it kills all its students. The motherland is not yet unified, so there's no mood to review. Reviewing = not failing; not reviewing = failing, so reviewing ÷ not reviewing = not failing ÷ failing; factoring out, (1 not) reviewing = (not 1) failing, simplifying, so reviewing = failing. Damn, truth is born. As the end of term approaches, everyone sing with me: 'My home is on the Loess Plateau, the wind blows over the slopes, whether it's Li Yuchun or Zeng Yike, both are my brothers, my brothers… My home is on the Loess Plateau, the sun walks over the slopes, whether worshipping Brother Chunchun or Brother Zeng, bless me to pass, not fail!'Women of the New Century: Can manage the hall, cook in the kitchen, write code, find errors, kill trojans, climb over walls, drive a good car, buy a new house, compete with mistresses, and fight off thugs.
Men of the New Century: Can sleep on the floor, live in the corridor, kneel for the motherboard, mend clothes, eat leftovers, pay for prescriptions, take care of children, support a family, endure loneliness, and strive to be like Grey Wolf.
1911, only capitalism can save China; 1949, only socialism can save China; 1979, only capitalism can save China; 1989, only China can save socialism; 2009, only China can save capitalism; 2012, only China can save the world.
There is someone who, if you text him, will reply immediately, whether it's day or night. If you ask him something, he will listen; if you don't want to talk to him anymore, he won't bother you with texts. He is 10086.
Even 'Believe' has a 'lie' in it, even 'Friend' eventually ends, even 'Lover' will be over, even 'Forget' requires 'get' first, and even with 'Wife', the heart still harbors 'if'.
Handsome and with a car, that's chess; rich and has a house, that's a bank; responsible and righteous, that's Ultraman; handsome with a car, rich with a house, responsible and righteous, that's Ultraman playing chess in a bank.
Penguin GG and Penguin MM went on a date. Penguin MM hadn't yet arrived at the meeting spot, and Penguin GG kept looking left, right, left, right, left, right. When Penguin MM arrived and saw Penguin GG like this, she got angry! She slapped him and scolded, 'Do you think you're logging into QQ, damn it!'
Currently, the male-to-female ratio in China is 116.9:100, so brothers need to work hard, or else you will be part of that [16.9]!! Girls should work even harder; otherwise, you won't even get a turn in that [16.9]!!
The rear wheel fell in love with the front wheel but knew it could never be with her, so it kissed every inch of the land she had rolled over.According to statistics, in the entire Doraemon series, Nobita was beaten by Gian 173 times, scolded by teachers 60 times, scolded by his mother 327 times, bitten by dogs 23 times, and fell into the ditch 14 times. This shows how optimistically Nobita lives. Compared to him, my difficulties are nothing; I will definitely persevere. A teacher at Tongji University said: 'Male students of the class of '08, don't worry. Your future wives are still in middle school bouncing around... On average, successful people are 12 years older than their spouses. By that calculation, many of your future wives are still in first grade in elementary school. So the wives you are raising now belong to someone else.' It is said that in a certain company's recruitment, they randomly discard half of the pile of resumes first, because their recruitment philosophy is 'we don't want unlucky people.' In fact, the names of the two sites BTchina and VeryCD already foreshadow the direction of events: 'Perverted China, really shitty.' 'So you are the legendary 290?!' 'What's 290?' '290 is just 250 38 2.' When China becomes strong, all foreigners will have to take the Chinese CET-4 and CET-6! Classical Chinese will be too simple; all answers must be written with a brush, which is lenient for them. If provoked, each person gets a knife, a turtle shell, and has to carve oracle bone script. Thesis titles will be 'On the Three Represents,' listening comprehension will use Jay Chou's songs, nunchaku exercises only listen once, reading comprehension will be based on the I Ching, oral exams will require singing Peking Opera, and experiments will test dumpling-making skills!
