1. A man who had served in the army, after returning home, shouted in his dreams every day: 'Ah Zhen! I can't live without you!' His wife asked who Ah Zhen was, and he said it was his war horse. A few days later, his wife handed him a letter: 'Your war horse wrote you a letter!'
2. Wife: Do you remember last February when you said you were going fishing? Husband: Of course I remember, what about it? Wife: This morning a fish called and said that you have already become a father!
3. After I was arrested, they forced me to confess. On the first day, they beat me but I didn't confess; the next day, they poured chili water on me but I still didn't confess; on the third day, a woman coaxed me into confessing. On the fourth day, when I wanted to confess again, I was dragged out and executed.
4. A woman had stomach pain, and the doctor asked her to take off her pants for the examination. After urging several times with no response, the doctor became impatient: 'There are many people in line; hurry up!' The woman, hesitant and embarrassed, stammered: 'You... you take them off first!'
5. Man: I really love you, but a girl is pregnant and insists that it's because of me. Wife: I absolutely believe it's not you. Look at our child carefully—how does he resemble you?
6. A certain leader was giving a report on studying the spirit of Lei Feng and read from a script: 'Lei Feng has not died!' (The audience laughs.) The secretary whispered from the side: 'Yet his spirit lives on!' The leader continued: 'His spirit is still alive!'
7. A woman brought a check to the bank to cash it. The teller asked: 'Can you prove it's really you?' Confused, the woman took out a mirror, looked at herself, and replied: 'That's right! It's me!'
8. Judge: You claim that the defendant stole money from your stockings? Woman: Yes, Your Honor. Judge: Then why didn't you resist? The woman, blushing, answered: 'I didn't know he was going to steal my money.'
9. A: I have to remind you, my husband will be back in an hour. B: But I haven't done anything rude. A: I know. If you want to do something, there's less than an hour left.
10. A: Did your wife have a big quarrel last night? B: Yes, she was yelling at the dog. A: Poor dog! I think I even heard your wife threaten to take its keys!
11. Lina couldn't get pregnant, so she went to the church to pray. A year later, she indeed gave birth to a son. A friend, having heard this, wanted to try as well. Lina said: 'No problem, as long as that young gatekeeper is still here.'
12. In the mountains, there was a mother bear, and a hunter wanted to capture her. In the first battle, the hunter was defeated and raped by the bear! After resting a few days, he fought again and was raped again!After recovering from his injuries, Bear laughed wildly at him: You son of a dog, are you here to hunt or to prostitute yourself?
13. An elderly lady couldn't read, but she always listened to the weather forecast daily. One day during a meal, she asked her family: I have a question, where is the local area? It seems to rain there almost every day.
14. An old farmer went to the city for a medical checkup. The nurse said: Go! Get your blood, urine, and stool tested! A while later, the old farmer returned with a basin of feces and said: Miss, I've swallowed the blood and urine, but I really can't swallow this stool!
15. Two farm children were chatting. A suddenly asked: Does your cow smoke? B: Are you crazy? How can a cow smoke? A: Oh, then maybe your cowshed is on fire.
16. A long line formed in front of the toilet. Someone said: I can't hold it anymore, can you let me go first? The person in front clenched their fist and squeezed out through their teeth: Damn, at least you can still speak!
17. A drunkard accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting a crowd. A police officer came over and asked: What happened? The drunkard replied: I don't know, I just got here too!
18. Two female employees were chatting during lunch. A: The new chairman is really handsome, and his clothes are appropriate. B: Exactly, and he even dresses quickly.
19. Patient: As soon as I went in, I heard the nurse saying 'Be brave, don't be afraid! Appendectomy is very simple.' Doctor: That's true. Patient: But she was talking to the doctor who was going to operate on me!
20. Passenger: Your drivers drive at astonishing speeds, yet accidents are rare. What's the reason? Driver said: Sir, drivers with poor skills have already died in car accidents.
