1. The dorm supervisor saw a female student eating instant noodles for lunch again and advised her, 'Eating noodles all the time is not nutritious and can make you thin!' The girl replied, 'Auntie, don't look at me being thin; I often eat meat down there.' 2. When going out for socializing with the boss, I wasn't feeling well that day and told the boss, 'Boss, I don't want to drink today~' The boss replied, 'No problem, I'll cover for you, don't worry.' During the occasion, a client toasted me: 'Come on, little girl, have a drink.' The boss quickly blocked it, 'No, don't let her drink, she just had an abortion yesterday…' I instantly burst into tears… 3. One day after math class, the teacher said, 'Students, the high school entrance exam is coming soon. To help everyone get good results, last night I went to the bookstore and found a really good tutoring material. It contains lots of content from the previous entrance exams. I suggest…' Before the teacher finished, a male voice interrupted, 'Stop with the nonsense, just tell the price!' 4. Once in PE class, the teacher came in with a serious face and announced, 'Today, I'm going to criticize two students, one boy and one girl.' A boy standing behind me muttered: 'Damn couple! What a damn couple!' The teacher loudly said, 'I'm talking about you, you and XX (another girl).' The whole class burst into laughter! 5. Today was the first time in my life being hospitalized, knowing nothing. As soon as I entered the ward, there were already a few patients. Just lying on the bed, a nurse brought a few thermometers for us to take our temperature. I put the thermometer in my mouth while playing with my phone, casually glanced at the people on the next bed, and saw them all pulling down their pants and slowly putting the thermometer in their anus. Suddenly, a feeling of deep despair overwhelmed me. 6. One afternoon, while the teacher was giving a lecture, the sky outside suddenly became overcast, strong winds blew, and it got dark. A gust blew the door open. From a corner of the classroom, a voice faintly called out: 'Monkey, quickly protect Master, there's a monster!'}This was not even the climax yet. The teacher decisively replied: "Don't panic, Bajie!" Instantly, the classroom was full of spring blossoms... 7. A classmate of mine in elementary school brought a bagged yogurt to PE class. He didn't have time to drink it before class, and somehow, he just casually put it in the hat he was wearing. He wasn't very well-behaved in class either, so the PE teacher got angry and slapped him on the head. Instantly, the yogurt flowed across his head. The scene... The teacher was so scared that her hands were shaking. 8. In Shanghai, a dinosaur was caught. The Second Medical University said to dissect it; Fudan University said to release it back into the wild; Shanghai University of Finance and Economics said to put it in the zoo and sell tickets; East China Normal University said to let it go to school; Shanghai International Studies University said to teach it to speak human language; Shanghai University said to dress it in a miniskirt; Shanghai Theatre Academy said to make it a model; Shanghai University of Traditional Chinese Medicine said to use it for experiments; Tongji University said to send it to Happy Valley; Jiaotong University said, "TMD who dares touch our campus beauty!" 9. A loser had been dating his girlfriend for five years but never slept with her. His girlfriend got anxious, and we all laughed, asking if he was incapable. He just said one sentence that instantly silenced us: "I have nothing now. I'm afraid that in the future, the one who marries her won't be me, and her husband will be upset that she wasn't a virgin and will bully her." At a hotel, the rich and handsome guy said, "Won't your boyfriend find out?" Girlfriend: "No. I'm so eager, but he still won't touch me—it must be impotent..." 10. I consider myself a good man. All my salary and bonuses go to my family. One time, the company gave 600 yuan. That night, lying in bed with my wife watching TV, I thought about it and said to her: "Go, go to my coat and take 600 yuan, as tonight's tip for serving me." My wife pursed her lips, lazy to move. I shouted: "Not going? Tomorrow you might be prostituting it!" My wife's eyes rolled: "You go, you go, if you prostitute it, I'll make you earn it back." 11. In the morning, I was looking for clothes to wear to work and put on a skirt I hadn't worn for a while. Looking in the mirror, I said to myself: "Oh dear! I look like a wrapped zongzi." My husband, washing his face nearby, said: "That's the filling's problem, not the leaves wrapping it!" 12. Last night, my girlfriend was playing a game alone when she suddenly looked up and seriously said to me: "I finally know why that thing is called OOXX, because the O button means confirm/enter, and the X means cancel/exit. OOXX together means 'in and out!'"Sweat, I really didn't know there was this layer of meaning before… 13. When we graduated from graduate school, a girl in the class got two boys to help her move five big boxes from the seventh floor to the first floor. The two boys were almost exhausted to death. The aunt who was watching the building couldn't bear it and said something that still makes me sigh to this day: 'You won't use your own boyfriend, but you use someone else's boyfriend with such enthusiasm.' Haha. 14. Staying at home with nothing to do, but suddenly, a bird flew in and hit the window. You think: Is God playing 'Angry Birds'? But wait… does God think I'm a pig???? 15. A recruit called his girlfriend: 'No leave this week because the company commander wants me to help guard the camp (masturbate).' The girlfriend angrily yelled: 'Shameless' and hung up. Seeing his girlfriend angry, the recruit went to talk to the company commander, who agreed to give him a few days off. He happily called his girlfriend: 'The company commander is giving me leave!' Girlfriend asked: 'That was so fast?' Recruit: 'Of course, isn't it all thanks to my mouth?' Joke... sent it and went to sleep!
1. The dorm supervisor saw a female student eating instant noodles for lunch again and advised her, 'Eating noodles all the time is not nutritious and can make you thin!' The girl replied, 'Auntie, don't look at me being thin; I often eat meat down there.' 2. When going out for socializing with the boss, I wasn't feeling well that day and told the boss, 'Boss, I don't want to drink today~' The boss replied, 'No problem, I'll cover for you, don't worry.' During the occasion, a client toasted me: 'Come on, little girl, have a drink.' The boss quickly blocked it, 'No, don't let her drink, she just had an abortion yesterday…' I instantly burst into tears… 3. One day after math class, the teacher said, 'Students, the high school entrance exam is coming soon. To help everyone get good results, last night I went to the bookstore and found a really good tutoring material. It contains lots of content from the previous entrance exams. I suggest…' Before the teacher finished, a male voice interrupted, 'Stop with the nonsense, just tell the price!' 4. Once in PE class, the teacher came in with a serious face and announced, 'Today, I'm going to criticize two students, one boy and one girl.' A boy standing behind me muttered: 'Damn couple! What a damn couple!' The teacher loudly said, 'I'm talking about you, you and XX (another girl).' The whole class burst into laughter! 5. Today was the first time in my life being hospitalized, knowing nothing. As soon as I entered the ward, there were already a few patients. Just lying on the bed, a nurse brought a few thermometers for us to take our temperature. I put the thermometer in my mouth while playing with my phone, casually glanced at the people on the next bed, and saw them all pulling down their pants and slowly putting the thermometer in their anus. Suddenly, a feeling of deep despair overwhelmed me. 6. One afternoon, while the teacher was giving a lecture, the sky outside suddenly became overcast, strong winds blew, and it got dark. A gust blew the door open. From a corner of the classroom, a voice faintly called out: 'Monkey, quickly protect Master, there's a monster!'}This was not even the climax yet. The teacher decisively replied: "Don't panic, Bajie!" Instantly, the classroom was full of spring blossoms... 7. A classmate of mine in elementary school brought a bagged yogurt to PE class. He didn't have time to drink it before class, and somehow, he just casually put it in the hat he was wearing. He wasn't very well-behaved in class either, so the PE teacher got angry and slapped him on the head. Instantly, the yogurt flowed across his head. The scene... The teacher was so scared that her hands were shaking. 8. In Shanghai, a dinosaur was caught. The Second Medical University said to dissect it; Fudan University said to release it back into the wild; Shanghai University of Finance and Economics said to put it in the zoo and sell tickets; East China Normal University said to let it go to school; Shanghai International Studies University said to teach it to speak human language; Shanghai University said to dress it in a miniskirt; Shanghai Theatre Academy said to make it a model; Shanghai University of Traditional Chinese Medicine said to use it for experiments; Tongji University said to send it to Happy Valley; Jiaotong University said, "TMD who dares touch our campus beauty!" 9. A loser had been dating his girlfriend for five years but never slept with her. His girlfriend got anxious, and we all laughed, asking if he was incapable. He just said one sentence that instantly silenced us: "I have nothing now. I'm afraid that in the future, the one who marries her won't be me, and her husband will be upset that she wasn't a virgin and will bully her." At a hotel, the rich and handsome guy said, "Won't your boyfriend find out?" Girlfriend: "No. I'm so eager, but he still won't touch me—it must be impotent..." 10. I consider myself a good man. All my salary and bonuses go to my family. One time, the company gave 600 yuan. That night, lying in bed with my wife watching TV, I thought about it and said to her: "Go, go to my coat and take 600 yuan, as tonight's tip for serving me." My wife pursed her lips, lazy to move. I shouted: "Not going? Tomorrow you might be prostituting it!" My wife's eyes rolled: "You go, you go, if you prostitute it, I'll make you earn it back." 11. In the morning, I was looking for clothes to wear to work and put on a skirt I hadn't worn for a while. Looking in the mirror, I said to myself: "Oh dear! I look like a wrapped zongzi." My husband, washing his face nearby, said: "That's the filling's problem, not the leaves wrapping it!" 12. Last night, my girlfriend was playing a game alone when she suddenly looked up and seriously said to me: "I finally know why that thing is called OOXX, because the O button means confirm/enter, and the X means cancel/exit. OOXX together means 'in and out!'"Sweat, I really didn't know there was this layer of meaning before… 13. When we graduated from graduate school, a girl in the class got two boys to help her move five big boxes from the seventh floor to the first floor. The two boys were almost exhausted to death. The aunt who was watching the building couldn't bear it and said something that still makes me sigh to this day: 'You won't use your own boyfriend, but you use someone else's boyfriend with such enthusiasm.' Haha. 14. Staying at home with nothing to do, but suddenly, a bird flew in and hit the window. You think: Is God playing 'Angry Birds'? But wait… does God think I'm a pig???? 15. A recruit called his girlfriend: 'No leave this week because the company commander wants me to help guard the camp (masturbate).' The girlfriend angrily yelled: 'Shameless' and hung up. Seeing his girlfriend angry, the recruit went to talk to the company commander, who agreed to give him a few days off. He happily called his girlfriend: 'The company commander is giving me leave!' Girlfriend asked: 'That was so fast?' Recruit: 'Of course, isn't it all thanks to my mouth?' Replies (4)
Since bumping this post, the phone doesn't die, the internet speed is faster, the battery lasts longer, the data is unlimited, the points have increased, and the knock-off also changed...
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