Joke~ Posting early brings early relaxation.

1. A beautiful woman arrives at a very famous beauty salon. Beautician: "Hello! Is there anything I can help you with?" "Beautiful woman:" I want to have breast augmentation surgery!" "Beautician:" We use the latest technology. If we do both sides, it's 1000 yuan!" "Woman:" Can you only have one side done?" " Beautician: "Yes!" " Woman: "How much does it cost to get just one side done?" " Beautician: "300 yuan!" "Woman: "Why does one side cost 300 yuan, but both sides cost 1000 yuan?" The beautician explained earnestly: "It's a twist and turn!" 2. A girl dressed very boldly! She dyed her hair blonde and wore sexy high heels! The next day, the girl and her mother went out on the street, but when they arrived, the mother suddenly broke free from the girl's arm! The daughter was shocked, and the mother scolded, "Don't carry me, people think I'm with a chicken!" 3. An ugly girl was showering at home! Suddenly, the ugly woman shouted, "Honey, it looks like someone is peeking at me while I'm showering!" Husband: "Really? Then hurry up and open the window!" The ugly woman was furious: "Am I crazy?" The husband explained: "Make him look clearly, so next time he won't dare to look again!!" 4. One day, a beautiful young woman went to the park with her husband. The husband was fishing by the lake, and the woman was reading under a tree. After fishing for over an hour, her husband went to the bathroom in a hurry. At that moment, a caretaker arrived. The manager pointed at the fishing rod and said to the woman, "No fishing here! I'm going to confiscate your fishing gear!" The young woman explained, "I'm not fishing. Didn't you see I was reading?" The manager insisted, "But you have fishing and a whole set of tools." The woman was furious: "Then I'll accuse you of raping me!" The manager was shocked: "Who raped you in broad daylight?" The woman shouted, "But you also have tools to rape women!" 5. A couple were out for a walk. The man wanted to test whether his girlfriend could remain chaste! He asked her, "If you were walking alone on the street late at night and suddenly a man came and wanted to kiss you, what would you do?" My girlfriend replied, "I would resist and slap him." The man asked again, "What if another drunk man suddenly tried to hug you?" My girlfriend replied, "I would fight back with all my might and not let him succeed."The man listened, happily nodding repeatedly! He continued to ask: 'What if another very handsome man comes along and makes you that kind of request, what would you do?' The girlfriend replied: 'You should know, a woman's resistance is ultimately limited!'

6. On a crowded bus. A standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting beside her: 'Don't you know I'm pregnant?' The man looked up at the pregnant woman and nervously said: 'The child isn't mine!'

7. A man came ashore after bathing in the river, and at that moment, two ladies approached. The man hurriedly picked up a bucket and held it over his crotch. When the two ladies came closer, one of them said to him: 'Sir, I have to tell you, behaving like this, we would accuse you of sexual harassment!' The man asked in confusion: 'Why?' The lady replied: 'The bucket in front of you has no bottom at all!'

8. The school held a football tournament, requiring male and female players to each account for half. At the pre-game strategy meeting, the head coach made a sharp analysis of the team's strengths and weaknesses: 'Our strategy is: men attack, women defend, Xie Jing is fast, will play forward; Yang Wei is slow, will assist; Bi Yuntao is solid, will play midfield. The female students must take on the defensive tasks, the three defenders must press wherever the ball goes, attack the opponents' lower three zones, coordinate left and right, pinch front and back. Finally, let's mention our goalkeeper nicknamed 'Steel Gate'; even if the enemy has the ball in front of the goal, they still cannot score!'

9. A white couple, married for years, finally had a child! The couple was very excited, but the child turned out to have dark skin! The husband blamed the wife: 'This is all your fault!' The wife angrily said: 'How can you blame me?!' The husband said: 'Who told you every time we were in bed, you insisted I turn off the light!'

10. In a hotel, after a passionate encounter, the man smoked and asked the woman: 'Is your home strict? If you get pregnant, what would you do?' The woman resolutely said: 'Then I would commit suicide, I would never drag anyone else into this!' The man happily said: 'Really? That's great! Let's do it again!'

11. A man visited his master's home. Upon entering, he found the master's wife nursing their child, which made him very awkward. The master's wife said: 'Your master will be back in a little while, have a seat and eat an apple.' Saying that, she casually handed an apple to the man.The man looked a bit nervous and replied, "No, no, no, that's not necessary, Madam, I don't want to drink milk."
12. A beautiful woman went to buy clothes. The beautiful woman asked the male shop owner, "Excuse me, how much is this piece of clothing?" The male shop owner lecherously said, "We don't charge for shopping here, but one piece of clothing requires a kiss." Upon hearing this, the beautiful woman happily picked out many pieces of clothing. When it was time to pay, the beautiful woman pointed to the side and said to the male shop owner, "My grandmother will pay."
13. A man sadly told his friend, "My wife has actually been unfaithful to me!!" His friend asked, "Is there such a thing? What happened exactly?" The man cried and said, "She told me last night she was with her sister, but in fact, last night her sister was with me!"
14. A group of young people were chatting in a bar, and while talking, they started guessing riddles. Someone asked, "Ten men peeping at five women bathing, guess an idiom." Actually, many people know this idiom; it is 'dazzlingly colorful.' But a girl thought for a long time, suddenly her eyes lit up, and she shyly asked, "Is it 'killing two birds with one stone'?"
15. Two men were chatting. One man asked, "Buddy, did your date succeed yesterday?" The buddy replied, "You could say it was half successful." The man asked curiously, "What do you mean by that?" The buddy explained, "I went yesterday, but she didn't."