The Mayan prophecy has been deciphered, and in the 2012 catastrophe only Chinese people can survive.
Hackers obtained a report from the United States. This is a report jointly researched and written by American institutions such as NASA, the FBI, the FDA, and the EPA. The report points out that the serious damage caused to the Fukushima nuclear power plant by the great earthquake and tsunami in Japan was deliberately concealed by the Japanese government. In fact, massive amounts of radioactive material had already leaked, and based on current human technological capabilities, it is impossible to prevent or remedy the situation. Nuclear radiation will rapidly spread worldwide through monsoons and ocean currents, causing lethal radiation damage to all of humanity. Within 19 months, humans and all living organisms on Earth will face catastrophe, which is also the truth behind the ancient Mayan prophecy about 2012. The report also reveals a shocking secret. Research confirms that only the Chinese can escape this disaster. Over the years, Chinese people have endured experiences with black-hearted cotton blankets, melamine in milk, Sudan Red, gutter oil, dichlorvos ham, methanol liquor, formaldehyde beer, and dioxane shampoo. Coupled with the ancient protection of Chinese medicine and the I Ching, they have long evolved into a completely different new species from humans, impervious to weapons and poisons. Dr. Map, a biology expert from Yale University, pointed out in the report: 'Although on the surface, the Chinese are still human, in essence, they have evolved into gods. Nuclear radiation is absolutely inconsequential for the Chinese. Even after this round of radiation exposure, the Chinese may evolve into an even more powerful species, whose level is beyond description and can only be referred to as 'God above God,' or 'Father of God.' The U.S. government had also attempted to implement relevant policies to improve the physical fitness of the American people. However, due to the comprehensive food safety laws and regulations in the U.S., the supervision is too strict, and Obama lacked decisiveness in this matter, completely lacking the basic qualities of a political leader who is bold, ruthless, and shameless. Therefore, this plan to save America was ultimately not implemented.' At the end of the report, there was a comment from U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: 'Read, Washington is stupid, Obama is a coward, only socialism can save America, verified.' Within just ten hours of WikiLeaks releasing this report, the world had fallen into full-scale panic. Angry American citizens gathered in front of the White House to strongly protest the U.S. government's irresponsible concealment of the crisis. U.S. authorities were forced to deploy the military to maintain order, but the situation was almost out of control.It is reported that a large number of Americans are trying every possible means to sneak into China. Following the principle that it's better to sharpen your spear at the last minute than not at all, they are rushing crazily to family workshops in various villages to buy food. Aunt Liu from the unscrupulous workshop in Lijia Village told reporters: "Oh my! Business was incredibly good today. Whatever Americans buy, it has to be toxic; if it isn't toxic, they won't pay. Some even contacted me about export business, wanting me to be CEO, go public, open a flagship store with waist-twisting moves—does Tom Cruise twist his waist? Will he sign an autograph for me after I become CEO? In the U.S., books on traditional Chinese medicine and the I Ching have been speculated up to thousands of dollars each." Dr. Zhang Wuben and Taoist Li also issued a joint statement announcing their return. They said that upon learning this news, the two masters were unable to sleep at night, worrying about the safety of people worldwide, and strained their mouths with concern. Considering that in the U.S., it is difficult to buy mung beans and eggplants, and temples are even harder to access, the two jointly launched a localized anti-cancer package for the U.S., which includes an anti-cancer burger developed overnight by Dr. Zhang Wuben and a cup of anti-radiation coffee made from a talisman blessed by Taoist Li, burned to ash and brewed. "This time, we are doing it as a humanitarian project. Taoist Li and I both practice Zen meditation; how could we exploit humanity's suffering for profit? Such a super-value package is only 19,800 yuan. Is it!!! Is it!!! Is the I Ching unbeatable? Is it!!! Is there a miracle in Chinese medicine? Is it!!!" Dr. Zhang Wuben's tone was somewhat excited. On the other side of the television, many top elites of the American medical community watching this statement couldn't help shedding tears of both emotion and shame.
Replies (14)
LZ~ I'm going to knock you out~ I want to slap you in the face~ I'll kick your little~
Talking nonsense...
There is a problem with your article! Is it criticizing China as very poor? Or what else does it mean?
It's okay! OP, we have already forged an invincible body, so we don't have to fear anything, neither our faces nor our small penises.
Chinese people have been troubled by inferior products for more than a day or two.
Sigh! I don't know if the Mayan prophecy is true, but I do know that terrorist organizations will definitely use the name of the end of the world to do something. I just hope it won't happen in China.
What do you say about this article?
Chinese people have been troubled by substandard products for more than just a day or two, a satire on society.
That's really ridiculous
Yuan Fang said that he needs to carefully investigate the oddities in this.
Bullshit...
Reading and replying to posts is a virtue!
=_= All kinds of self-deception
Reading posts and replying to posts is a virtue
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