This article is reprinted from "The Laugh-Forget Book of You and Me".
A long time later, when I arrived in Dalian, I finally saw that vast blue sea.
The blue sea and sky reflected each other, the red buildings and green trees leaned on each other. There were flocks of seagulls low-calling and circling on the horizon, people coming and going on the golden beach, creating a lively scene. No one would notice a girl wearing large brown sunglasses standing by the sea, and no one would notice the tears in my eyes behind those sunglasses.
I thought, if Su Nianle saw all of this, he would surely snicker and say, 'Ruan Tianlan, stop crying if you're ugly, it'll be even scarier.' But right now, all the purity around me could not outweigh that clear smile. But, but, my dear Su Nianle, I have arrived in the city where you are, yet I cannot see your figure. My dear, dear, where are you?
(1) The Proud Rooster and the Clever Little Monkey
In 1999, I was still studying in a small town. There was no sea, and no tall buildings, and if you looked up, you could see the endless sky.
If I could still see such a blue sky now, I would definitely look up often, watching the clouds, birds, and my endless longing.
But back then, I did not understand the word "sorrow," so I never had the chance to look up at the sky with tears streaming down my face.
Every day, I would skip class with Su Nianle to go to the arcade. We were skilled at tossing game coins into the machines, then holding the controller in one hand and pressing the buttons to control the characters in the game with the other hand, fighting Su Nianle's characters fiercely. It always ended with me winning, and on the way home, Su Nianle would shriek and growl, 'Ruan Tianlan, are you even a girl or not?'
I shot him a sideways glance, 'You rude boy, stop calling me girl all the time. Though I look worn out for my age, I am a girl, a girl!'
Su Nianle snorted, 'The word girl doesn't suit you.' Looking at the perverted and relentless Su Nianle next to me, I suddenly remembered our encounter several years ago.
At that time, I was around four or five years old, still a little girl in a pink dress and always craving snacks, with a frail body and wheat-colored skin, often wiping my runny nose on my pink dress. I liked to follow a group of boys in the alley to cause trouble, making the surrounding neighbors panic and fuss.That day, my uncle in the city brought me a box of chocolate beans. It was a transparent box with colorful chocolate beans that dazzled my eyes. I hugged it excitedly, reluctant to eat them, and at night I slept holding the box, feeling as if I were sleeping on a rainbow. The next day, no matter where I went, I carried the box with me, attracting a lot of curious glances. I proudly displayed it, and before any child could reach out, I would immediately close the box. So, after school, a group of classmates blocked me, asking me to share the chocolate beans. At that time, I still didn't understand the principle of the strong taking advantage of the weak. I thought that since I usually got into all sorts of mischief, I had nothing to fear, so I looked at them haughtily, refusing to share the chocolate beans. Perhaps my pride angered them. They all rushed at me. I held the box tightly, but I was outnumbered. During the struggle, someone opened the box, and the colorful chocolate beans scattered everywhere in a rush. The surrounding children pounced, each picked up some, and then ran off in a crowd, leaving me standing there like a fool. Seeing a few dirty chocolate beans still on the ground, I slowly walked over, picked them up, and popped them into my mouth. Just then, Su Nianle appeared, wearing a white shirt, a small tie, and shiny little shoes. Looking down on me, he spoke in a muffled voice, 'Don't you know not to eat what is offered reluctantly?' At that time, I couldn't even recite 'Goose, goose, goose' properly, so Su Nianle's profound words were like speaking a different language to me. I looked at him as if to say 'You're an idiot,' then continued picking up the beans and stuffing them into my mouth. Seeing this, he got anxious, ran over, and knocked my hand away, saying, 'They're already dirty.' I angrily looked at this boy who had appeared out of nowhere, ready to fight him to the death, but his next action deflated me. He rooted around in his pocket and then held out two nicely wrapped candies in his palm: one package had a proud little rooster, the other had a clever little monkey. I didn't hesitate, grabbed them, tore open the wrappers, and shoved the candies into my mouth. Tilting his head, he looked at me and said, 'Little brother, don't wear pink skirts from now on; those are for girls.'Originally, I was happily eating when I heard this, and in anger, I reached out and pushed him down, then kicked him and ran away. How hateful! Even though I've always been a bit tomboyish, I still have such a delicate appearance—by all looks, I should be a girl! || (2) Did the teacher fill in the wrong gender for you? Childhood memories are said to be the most vague. But obviously, this saying didn't apply to Su Nianle. The second time I met him was in the first year of middle school. My mom had just changed jobs, so she transferred me to a middle school near her workplace for convenience in picking me up after school. But I never knew that this day would be the start of my misfortune. On the first day of class, I obediently stood on the podium to introduce myself, then bowed. The teacher casually pointed and said, 'You can sit next to Nianle; he's the study committee, he can help you more.' I grabbed my small backpack and walked over to the seat she pointed at. As soon as I sat down, I saw the boy next to me turn his head, revealing a set of small white teeth, and grin at me eerily: 'Little brother, long time no see!' I stared at him blankly, and finally my eyes widened. My hand trembled, and the ink bottle I was holding 'clanged' to the ground, spilling blue ink all over the person next to me. The people around? Only me and this boy called Su Nianle. I wore cropped shorts, he wore white long pants and black shoes. I could just rinse my leg with water, so obviously, he was the only victim. The white pants were stained in a colorful mess. Later, Su Nianle looked at me with disdain, a face full of resentment as if to say, 'Shouldn't you compensate my pants?' I only blinked innocently and then looked up at the sky. Did he think I was stupid? Buying him a pair of pants could buy me hundreds of skewers! And who told him to scare me like that so relentlessly? Seeing that I showed no trace of guilt, he pretended to sigh, 'Eh, forget it, seeing that you're still a little brother, I'll forgive you.' Five years later, hearing this again, my anger was no less than back then. I shouted loudly, 'Who's a little brother? I'm female!' Su Nianle must have been scared by my fierceness, so he stared at me dumbfounded for a while, then started smiling, laughing, and finally pointing at me and holding his belly in laughter: 'Haha, tell me... tell me, what part of you looks like a woman?'…I screamed, I freaked out, I was furious. Even though four years later I was still a bit prickly, with my face as beautiful as the moon hiding behind flowers, how could anyone say I was male? I quickly took my student ID out of my bag and threw it in front of him, glancing sideways at him and said, 'Hmph, take a good look.'
Su Nianle held my student ID, staring at the gender for a long time, then carefully put it away and returned it to me. He then cautiously looked me over for a long while. I arrogantly stared at the sky, ignoring him. Finally, he cautiously said, 'Did the teacher fill in the wrong gender for you?'
…
I felt this incident was a huge blow to me, so from then on I started growing my hair long.
All summer, my hair grew like wild grass, and I finally started wearing long dresses and tying ribbons just like girls my age. I still remember the day I stood in front of Su Nianle; he stared at me in astonishment and said, 'I was wrong, I was really wrong, I admit you are a girl.' Hmph, I knew my beauty could shock him.
By that time, Su Nianle and I had already become quite close. We were deskmates, often playing Gomoku or card games during class, and after school we went to the arcade together. Every time my character would beat his character to pieces, and after defeating him, I would even stomp on him a few more times.
Su Nianle looked at me with a sideways glance. 'I've never seen a girl like you. Scavenging on the dead isn't very fair.'
I retorted tooth-for-tooth, 'Is there any mercy left for me if I'm merciful to you?'
Although Su Nianle got his butt kicked by me every game, in terms of academics, this genius who could say 'I won't eat food offered reluctantly' at the age of five, still held the top spot on the honor roll like a sacred tablet. Meanwhile, though my gaming skills became flawless, my exam scores did the opposite, plummeting like free fall.
When my mom saw my report card, her face got blacker by the day. One day, she finally couldn't take it and yelled, holding a broom, 'Ruan Tianlan…'
As soon as I saw my mom's ferocious expression, I immediately pulled Su Nianle, who was taking me home, behind me. Su Nianle looked at me with disdain, as if to say, 'You usually have no problem beating up the dead, but now, where did that courage go?'I rolled my eyes and ignored him. He turned around, smiling at my mom, handed over his report card, and said, "Auntie, I'm Tianlan's classmate. I can help tutor her from now on."
When my mom saw the perfect score on Su Nianle's report card, she immediately lit up with joy, then welcomed Su Nianle into the house warmly; it was really affectionate.
Ever since my mom saw Su Nianle's impressive grades and obedient demeanor, no matter how much I complained, she wouldn't pay attention to me, claiming it was to let Nianle help me more, but in reality, it was to let him watch over me.
After that, Su Nianle and I went to the game arcade less often because he took my mom's trust in him seriously. Every day after school, he would first come to my house to tutor me, saying he was afraid that if I failed to get into the second year of middle school, no one would be there to play games with him. I always gave him a resentful look, saying, with my IQ, how could I fail the level-up exam?
"Then why do you fail every test?"
…|| (3) The Sea is an Upside-Down Sky
After days of hardship, I finally lived up to everyone's expectations and barely passed into the second year of middle school. Although Su Nianle's name was still at the top of the list, while I was at the bottom, this did not stop my excitement; it proved that I could again freely spend time with Su Nianle, feasting and gaming without worry.
I think the two biggest events in the second year of middle school were: first, Su Nianle secretly liked a girl, and the girl was so beautiful that even I, who prided myself on being breathtakingly beautiful, felt extremely inferior in front of her. The second thing was that year, we got in touch with computers. Su Nianle used it to play games, but I used it for a grand, proper online romance.
Every day after school, Su Nianle would sneakily pull me to follow that girl, waiting until she entered her home. Because of this, I looked at him with disdain countless times, but he completely ignored me, and I was helpless.
Because afterward, I had to ask for his favor, making him lie to my mom to help me with tutoring, and then go to the internet café together.
Su Nianle also looked down on my behavior, but unlike me, he wasn't discreet; he was very sharp-tongued. He said, "I didn't expect you, Ruan Tianlan, to like an older man. Hah, aren't you afraid of being taken advantage of?"
I typed rapidly at the keyboard while giving him a sidelong glance. "Mind your own business."
I think Su Nianle was just sour grapes. He didn't have the courage to confess and was jealous seeing me happy.Song Lanhai is definitely not a bad person. He is gentle and considerate, kind and calm, and he studies at a Maritime University in a beautiful city called Qingdao. He said that city has beautiful neon lights, bright sunshine, and most importantly, a pure and clean sea. At the end, he would always say, 'Tianlan, when you grow up, you must come see me. I will take you to see the sea.'
At that time, my knowledge of the sea came only from what I saw on TV and the internet, so I longed for it very much. I always asked Song Lanhai, 'Lanhai, Lanhai, how magnificent is the sea?'
He said, 'Tianlan, the sea… is like the sky turned upside down.'
From then on, in my free time, I would always look at the boundless sky imagining what the sea looked like and what Song Lanhai looked like. He must have a clear face and eyes as deep and affectionate as the sea. He would look better than anyone else in his blue naval uniform.
I stubbornly believed that my acquaintance with Song Lanhai was predestined because my name has the character 'Tian' (sky), and his has 'Hai' (sea). The sea is the sky turned upside down. That is truly the most wonderful thing in the world.
Su Nianle truly realized that I was really in an online romance only in the third year of junior high. On my birthday, I received a package from Qingdao, a box over a meter tall. Who would send such a big gift in junior high? Even the teacher was stunned when I received it. Classmates all curiously gathered around me, chattering.
