Classic jokes that make you laugh out loud

Classic Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud 1. On a cliff, a tiny mouse waved its short front paws and jumped again and again, trying hard to learn to fly. A mother bat beside it watched it get hurt repeatedly and anxiously said: 'Its dad, why don't you tell it that it's not our own?' 2. At a boy's dormitory chat session that lasted until 3 a.m., someone suddenly wanted to discuss a question: 'When you meet a pretty girl, what should you say first?' A certain guy woke up from his dreams and said: 'Never mind, let's sleep!' 3. Robber: 'Quick, tell me the safe's combination! If you don't, I'll kill you!' Female clerk: 'Even if you kill me, I won't say! Even if you assault me, I won't tell!' The robber sized her up and said: 'You're dreaming!' 4. The female bird, tears streaming down her face, while the male bird angrily said: 'How many times have I told you, this ring was put on me by the bird research station, not a wedding ring! I'm not married yet!' 5. In a restaurant, woman: 'Are you planning to marry me or not?' Man was silent. Woman: 'Don't think nobody wants me. If you mess with me, I'll just find someone else here to marry!' Waiter walked over: 'Miss, you scared all the customers away.' 6. Bro, do you know why I got scolded that day? I saw an underline under the words on that pretty girl's shirt and couldn't help but reach out and click it. 7. A woman wearing a tight skirt got into a car but couldn't lift her legs. Even after unbuttoning two buttons of the hem, it still didn't work. She turned around to see a man watching her, and shouted, 'Pervert!' The man said: 'You're the pervert! You even unbuttoned two of my buttons just now!' 8. During a paratrooper exercise, the officer asked: 'How many new recruits are there this year?' A young soldier said: 'You'll know when they land by looking at their butts!' Officer: 'Why?' Young soldier: 'New recruits all have footprints on their butts!' 9. Remember? That time you went to the TV station and sang a song, three out of four judges fell over. Luckily, one judge got on stage, excitedly shook your hand, and said: 'What talent! Others sing for money, you sing for your life!' 10. A few people were watching the sunrise. One pointed at the treetop and said: 'I see it.' The others said they saw it too. Then someone came out from behind the tree with their pants down: 'If you saw it, you saw it. Why are you all shouting?!' 11. Boys generally weren't allowed on the girls' dormitory floor and had to leave before 8 p.m., otherwise when it turned 8, the floor supervisor auntie would loudly shout: 'Ladies, please see your guests out.' 12. On the bus, old ladies, afraid of missing their stop, would ask at every station.The car arrived at a stop, and she kept poking the driver with her umbrella: 'Is this the Exhibition Center?' 'No, this is pork ribs!' 13. A villager woman went to the market to sell peanuts. When the market assistant tried to charge her, she ran away, but was still caught by the assistant. The assistant said: 'Yesterday I wanted to hug you to sleep (report your taxes), today I will definitely hug you to sleep (report your taxes).' 14. This afternoon, I was chatting with a group of female colleagues when someone suddenly said I wasn't a man. I got angry and said, 'You say I'm not? I'll show you.' The girls all laughed, and one of them, the boldest, said, 'Go on, show us, go on~~' So... I took out my ID card. 15. Snake, ant, spider, and centipede were playing mahjong at home. After 8 rounds, they ran out of cigarettes. They discussed who should go buy some. Snake said: 'I have no feet, I won't go, let the ant go.' Ant said: 'Spider has eight legs, more than mine. Let the spider go.' Spider said: 'No matter how many legs I have, I can't beat Big Bro Centipede. Let the centipede go.' Centipede reluctantly thought: 'No choice, who asked me to have so many legs?' So centipede went out to buy cigarettes... More than an hour passed, but centipede didn't return. Two hours later, still no sign of him. So everyone sent spider to check. The moment spider stepped out the door, he saw centipede sitting by the entrance. Spider angrily asked: 'Why haven't you gone yet? We're waiting.' Centipede, annoyed, replied: 'Nonsense! You all must wait for me to put on my shoes first!!' 16. A: 'I have two bad habits that really bother me. The first is sleeping naked.' B: 'That's nothing! What's the second bad habit?' A: 'Sleepwalking.' 18. Late at night, Teacher Wang finished grading the last exam, exhaustedly turned on the radio, wanting to relax with some music. The DJ's voice came through: 'The entire Class X of Senior Grade 3 at XX Middle School dedicates this song to their beloved Teacher Wang XX, thanking him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year), providing them with valuable practice opportunities...' Hearing this, Teacher Wang's eyes were moist, and a faint, comforting smile appeared on his exhausted face. The DJ continued: '...Now let's listen together to this song, Li Huimin's "You Won't Have a Good Outcome"…' Eyes rolled back, foam at the mouth, collapsing to the ground... 19. One day, a driver was robbed on the road, and the hijacker said: 'Get out of the car!'"!' The blocker then said: 'Do 100 push-ups.' The driver was forced to comply and said: 'I've never seen someone like you robbing the road.' After finishing, the robber said again: 'Do another 500.' The driver did as told, and afterward, he was already weak in his limbs and dizzy. The robber shouted into the forest behind: 'Sister, you can take his car into the city now.' 20. One day you were standing at a bus stop laughing out loud, attracting passersby who looked at you as if you were a rare animal. One of them asked why you were laughing foolishly. You held back your laughter and proudly said: 'I tricked the ticket buyers; I bought a ticket but didn't get on the bus.'