When I have money...

When I have money, I will build two private villas, one for living, one for raising pigs. When I have money, I will buy all the brand-name cosmetics and not use them until they expire, while still using Dabao. When I have money, I will go out to the streets to hit people for fun, giving 100 yuan for a slap. Hmph, let's see who refuses to let me hit them; I will kill them with money. When I have money, I will go to the Mobile Tower every day to buy China Unicom cards! When I have money, I will buy 500 motorcycles and hire 500 drivers, so when I go out, they will follow me. Sometimes forming a "cow" line, sometimes a "B" line. When I have money, I will hire two maids, one to serve me, and one for me to serve. When I have money, I will build two toilets; if I want to use the men's toilet, I will use the men's toilet; if I want to use the women's toilet, I will use the women's toilet. When I have money, I will hire hundreds of people; when bored, divide them into two groups, one half will save money for me, the other half will withdraw money for me, making the bank serve only me, making it nearly impossible for others not to wait in line. When I have money, I will buy two of the same pair of underwear, wear one inside, and the one outside like Superman. When I have money, I will buy two BMWs, one to lead the way in front, one to guard at the back, and I will ride a bicycle in the middle! When I have money, I will send the same SMS twice, so you can save one and delete one. When I have money, I will buy 1.3 billion bicycles, giving one to each person in China, while I take the bus, to see who still dares to crowd me. When I have money, I will buy two laptops, one for games, one for QQ. When I have money, I will buy two planes, one flying during the day, one at night. When I have money, I will build two swimming pools, one for washing my hair, one for washing my feet. When I have money, I will do face masks every day, one on my face, one on my butt. When I have money, I will go beg, then hire 100 beggars to throw bowls at me. When I have money, at every intersection, I will park three cars side by side at red lights every day, making it impossible for others to pass, and I will pay the fines in advance. When I have money, I will open two companies, one where I am boss, one where I am an employee; I can fire the boss or the employees whenever I want. When I have money, I will buy two basins to wash my feet, one for the left foot, one for the right foot. When I have money, I will install two air conditioners in my room, both on, one cooling, one heating, blowing hot and cold air alternately.When I have money, I'll buy a big house with two bathrooms, one for pooping, one for peeing. When I have money, I'll be late for work every day—what's just being late once and losing 10 yuan? I'll give you one million, go ahead and deduct it for fun! When I have money, I'll change my QQ number to a single digit. Damn, I want to recharge red diamonds, red diamonds, blue diamonds, blue diamonds, play QQ games, and see who dares to kick me! When I have money, I'll buy two tanks, one for farming, one for hunting. …