Woman: Do you have an apartment? An Accord?
Man: No.
Woman: Something came up, I have to go first.
Man: I have a villa, why live in an apartment? Driving a Benz, should I switch to an Accord?
The woman glanced back with a smile, and the blind date continued.
Man: I mortgaged the villa and all my cars to start a business.
Woman: I have to go first.
Man: Luckily, we got the fund, and the company went public.
Woman: You're so bad, always teasing people~~~
A doctor in a white coat comes in: Kid, go back and take your medicine.
[Hot Comment] A teacher said: That line from the era of bare marriage: 'I have no car, no money, no house, no diamond ring, but I have a heart to stay with you until old age.' Its unreliability is similar to: 'Although I didn't read, didn't attend class, didn't review, didn't do exercises, I have a heart that won't fail.' The biggest misunderstanding of love is thinking it is omnipotent.
Someone was hungry. He ran to a stall selling fried dough cakes and said with concern, 'You use too much oil to fry these cakes. I have a way to save oil for sure.'
The seller of the dough cakes was overjoyed to hear this and immediately brought him a plate to eat and asked him to show a way to save oil. The man ate his fill but said nothing. The seller got anxious and asked, 'What exactly is your way to save oil?'
The man wiped his mouth and said, 'Sell steamed buns.'
Yesterday at a street food stall, a young man at the next table, half-drunk, was rambling everywhere (his Mandarin not being standard), saying, 'Other, other people from other places, here, here locally, all, all are pigs, pigs, pigs…' Before he could finish, a big guy at the next table stood up and slapped him in the face. The young man widened his eyes and continued, 'Rent, rent, mostly rented houses…' then suddenly fell to the ground. That one slap was totally undeserved.
Sentence practice: Wrinkles.
Elementary student: Dad's egg has wrinkles.
Teacher: Please add a face character in front of 'egg.'
Desk mate always goofs off in class. One day in class, he secretly played on his phone and was caught by the homeroom teacher patrolling outside the classroom. The homeroom teacher pulled out his phone and sent him a message: 'Why aren't you paying attention in class?'
The desk mate replied puzzled: 'Who are you?'
Teacher sent another message: 'Look outside the window.'
The desk mate glanced outside and replied: 'Thanks for the reminder, we'll talk later, our homeroom teacher is watching from outside!'
A traffic accident happened on the road—the turtle stepped on the rhinoceros. Police are investigating the cause of the accident. Asked the rhinoceros: How did the turtle hit you?The calf with a plaster cast dangling on it recalled in panic: I don't remember, his speed was too fast at that time!
A couple chatting on QQ: The girl was at home using 4M broadband, and the boy was at school using a 2.5G campus network.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy didn't respond.
Girl asked again: Do you have another woman at school?
Boy: Yes! Of course!
Girl: How could you treat me like this? Did you ever really love me?
Boy: That's impossible!!
As a result, they broke up...
Free phone method: First, wear a suit, put on glasses, hold a file in your left hand, and a pen in your right hand, then keep a serious expression and walk steadily. Randomly choose a middle school, go to the back door of a class, scan with your eyes, and when you see someone looking down, walk up, knock on the desk twice, and the student will voluntarily hand over the phone, then calmly leave and run out of the school...
