1. I was in the mall today and I was choosing a comb. It had just the right density of teeth and looked very comfortable. Then look at the price. The price tag says: For long-haired dogs. So he put it back silently.
2. Take the bus home from work. Passing by a stop sign, I looked back and saw a girl running hard in the direction of the bus, but the bus had already started, and the plot of a hero saving a beautiful girl suddenly emerged. I shouted impassionedly: "Master, stop the car."
Just when everyone looked at me, I saw the girl getting into someone else's car, so I got off the car in the expectant eyes of everyone...
I dare not say more, they are all tears. It is not easy to be a diaosi. . .
3. At the celebration banquet, the boss said: "You two are my right and left arms! The success of the business is inseparable from your hard work!"
The husband said: "This is our job, as it should be!"
The boss said: "I especially want to praise your husband. Damn, she's pretty and she's really capable! It would take a lot of men here to beat her!”
As soon as I finished speaking, it suddenly became unnervingly quiet...
4. I've been working overtime a lot lately, and my female boss was very concerned about me and asked me if I wanted to have a midnight snack.
She said she would order takeout for me. I was busy and complaining at the same time.
No need for late night snacks, just let me sleep.
The female boss said something disgusting and walked away with a blushing face. I was depressed for a long time before I finally realized what I was doing. . .
1. During the Guangxu period, when the Guangdong Academy opened, the banner official Deshou proposed to delete the three subjects of arithmetic, gymnastics and geography. The reason was: "Arithmetic has its own accountant. We are literati, so we don't need to practice gymnastics; Geography Science is what Feng Shui masters say, so why bother cultivating so many Feng Shui masters? "
2. In the 22nd year of Guangxu (1896), before the first Summer Olympics was held in Athens, the Qing government received an invitation letter from the International Olympic Committee. Guangxu, Cixi and the civil and military officials of the Manchu Dynasty did not know what the "Olympic Games" was and ignored it.
3. Yuan Shikai said to Zhang Zhidong: "Military training may seem complicated, but it is actually very simple. The main thing is to train absolute obedience to orders. We hold money and officials in one hand, and a knife in the other. If we obey orders, we will have officials and money. If we don't, we will get a knife."
4. Zhang Xiruo, a professor at Tsinghua University, participated in the Political Participation Meeting of the Republic of China and said that there were only three types of people at the meeting: one was the talker, who praised the authorities; the other was the talker, who just raised his hand; the other was the buttock, who did not speak or raise his hand, and just sat there blindly.
5. Wu Zhihui once satirized the "turtles" during the Republic of China: "It's like noodles. If you take them abroad and fry them, they will turn into fluffy and huge fried dough sticks."
6. During the Central Plains War, the Central Army dispatched its air force to assist in the battle, and the Northwest Army was horrified. In order to stabilize the morale of the army, Feng Yuxiang gathered the troops for training.
Feng asked everyone: "Are there more planes or more crows in the sky?"
Everyone answered: "There are more crows."
Feng asked again: "But do crows fall on your heads when they poop?"
Everyone said in unison: "No."
Feng then said, "So, when planes drop bombs, the chances of hitting are even less, so you don't have to be afraid."
The next day when the air force attacked, everyone did not avoid it, resulting in heavy casualties.
7. Zhang Zuolin issued an order: No one is allowed to enter or exit the important area of the Commander's Mansion after midnight. One night when Zhang returned late, the concierge refused to open the door because it was past the time.
Zhang was helpless and had to go around to the back door to enter.
The next day, Zhang Zuolin summoned the concierge and promoted him to the director of the detention center, making an exception.
The concierge said that he was illiterate and could not be an official.
Zhang disagreed and said: "That's easy, I'll find you a literate person to be your secretary."
8. Wu Huawen first followed Feng Yuxiang, then joined Chiang Kai-shek, then Wang Jingwei, and finally surrendered to the People's Liberation Army.
Once he called a meeting of his subordinates and said: "We used to be like the women of the Women's Branch. Today we are like this and tomorrow we are like that. Now we are considered 'good' and we have married a good husband. We will not steal from others in the future!"
Deputy Army Commander Yang Youbai jumped up and said loudly: "We have been with you for half our lives, but you called us women of the Women's Branch. Let's go, no more meetings!"
