1. A buck, he walked, faster and faster, until finally it became a highway (deer)! ! ! !
2. Two tomatoes were crossing the road, and a car was speeding by. One of them couldn't dodge and was crushed. The other tomato pointed at the squashed tomato and laughed and said: Dig hahaha, ketchup...
3. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!!!" Guess what happened?
As a result, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.
4. The stone and the rice cake were fighting, and the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the sea... Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who were privately committed to life, but the boy had to perform military service, so he made an oath with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl today in three years. Then, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Finally, three years have passed. The girl has been waiting for the boy, but she has not been able to wait. She was so sad that she threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair and left her hometown. However, the boy had actually been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, so it became a regret forever. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing. Guess what he caught?
rice cakes! ! !
5. Are dumplings for boys or girls? The answer is boys because the dumplings have wrappers. 6. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day he was hit by a car, and he yelled, "Quack!" From then on, he became a cucumber! !
7. Matchstick suddenly felt that his head was itchy, so he stretched out his hand to scratch it, and it burned himself to death...
8. Once upon a time there was a bird
He would pass by a cornfield every day
But unfortunately
one day there was a fire in that cornfield
all the corn turned into popcorn
after the bird flew over...
thought it was snowing, and died of cold...
9. When will Taiwan want to be reunified?
When buying instant noodles
10. Asong and Abo chatted about nothing and told each other that time is not forgiving.
Asong: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing I have ever had is Children's Day."
Abo: "In ten years it will be Youth Day."
Ason: "In ten years it will be Father's Day."
Abo: "In a few decades it will be Seniors' Day."
Ason: "In a few more decades."
Abo: "Tomb Sweeping Day."
11. All the soldiers: "Thirsty...thirst..."
Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a plum forest nearby. If I walk for a while, I might be there."
All the soldiers: "Oh￣￣￣￣There are plums to eat￣￣￣Oh￣￣ ￣"
Half an hour later - Cao Ren: "Lord! The expedition team found a lot of water!"
Cao Cao: "Hahahaha, did you hear that? There is finally water to drink"
Soldiers: "If you don't go...you must find plums..." 12. A girl was heartbroken, and I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, but there are plenty of three-legged men!"
13. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" His father said: "Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?"
14. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met each other on the street. Why didn't they say hello? (Assuming they can speak)
Because………………. .
Because……………………
Because they are not familiar with each other~~~~~~~~
15. Question: How to make a sparrow quiet?
Answer: Press it.
Cause: total silence (overwhelming silence).
16. Unfortunately, a college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him: "Tell me, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I will electrocute you!!!" The college student replied to the enemy, but was electrocuted to death...
He said: "I am from the Radio and TV University!"
17. A: "I'll take you to a place where all the girls don't wear bras."
B: "Really? Where is it? Take me there quickly!"
A: "It's in the kindergarten next door!"
18. Wang Xiaoya, the host of the Happy Dictionary program, interviewed an audience member live and asked: "Which female host do you admire most in your mind?" The audience said: "It's you." Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why do you say that?" The audience said: "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"
19. Do you know what color Spider-Man is?
Red, wrong!
It's white
If you don't believe it, read Spider-Man in English: spider man (it's a white person)
20. Why did Xiao Ming fall?
Please think twice.
Because the floor is slippery
21. After a party, a group of animals rushed into the 7-11 convenience store to buy something. They were all beaten out by the clerk, but the little sheep was left alone in the store.
Why is the convenience store not closed for 24 hours? ………
22. The glass cup and the coffee cup were crossing the road together, and suddenly someone yelled:
The glass cup was hit by the car, but the coffee cup was okay.
The coffee cup has ears!
23. My company is grandly launching a new product, MP3 for short...
24. There are two types of people I hate the most:
those who are racist;
\Three is not good at counting!
25. I would like to thank Madoka Ozawa, Ran Asagawa, Ai Nagase, Ryoko Mitake, Maria Takaki, Mai Kawamoto, Hitomi Yuuki, Miyu Natsuki, Naomi Seriki, Shiraishi, Aoi Kudo, and Koyama. Mayu Uchi, Miho Kishikawa, Yuki Nishida, Kiba Sawai, Ayaka Fujisaki, Miya Hayama, Chihiro Inoue, Matsumura, Yuki and Shizuka Izumi, etc., whose names I know and whose names I don't know, have appeared in The foreign friends in my computer who have been deleted or are still in my computer: they accompany me through lonely nights every night; when I am at my lowest, they comfort me in a timely manner; when I am exhausted from playing CS, they make me feel the pleasure of smoothness; when I am in a sluggish state and have no feel, they make me HIGH~
26. The accuracy of the earthquake prediction has indeed improved a lot. This time, there are only two words missing: the prediction is in "Heilongjiang", but the result is in "Jiujiang"!
27. Zhang Liangying said: "The fans who admire me say-my idol is called Ying"
He Jie said: "The fans who admire me say-my idol is called Jie"
Zhou Bichang said: "The fans who admire me say-my idol is called Chang"
Li Yuchun said: "You guys talk, I'm leaving first!" "
28.. Five Fuwa dolls gathered together to chat.
Beibei suggested: Let's give ourselves a nickname, I'll call it "Beiwa"!
Jingjing: Then I'll call it "Jingwa"!
Huanhuan: My name will be "Huanwa"!
Nini: My name will be "Niva"!
Yingying stood up and said: You guys are chatting, I have something to do, I have to leave first...
In 2058, the five Fuwa got together to chat again.
Beibei: Let's talk about our nicknames. People respect me and call me "Master Bei".
Huanhuan: People! Everyone calls me "Master Huan"!
Nini: People call me "Master Ying"!
Jingjing stood up and said: You guys have something to do, I have to leave first...
29. The cold winter is here, so I decided to keep taking cold showers. But as I was washing, I realized that I was back to my childhood self! ! 30. Celery suddenly felt a pain in his stomach as he walked. What did you say? It was Celery! What color is it????
Answer: Yellow
Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shi Huang)

31.
jumped down from the top of the 20th floor...
It turned out to be... 32. There was a piece of bread. Eat yourself.
Once upon a time, she felt thirsty and drank herself.
Once upon a time, there was a virgin who felt tired and fell asleep...
33. Who is the ancestor of man? Because peanut kernel~~~
34. Which person in ancient times is considered a white-collar worker?
Meng Mu's three moves (thousands)
35. Zhang Fei: “Don't leave, old thief! "
Yan Yan: "The ring-eyed thief! Dismount and die! "
Police car: "Listen, two thieves~~~You have been surrounded~~~Put down your weapons..."