Shoot~~~The money is all from us~~~~~
Of course, I am a handsome guy who is rare to see in a hundred years, loved by everyone, flowers blooming, jade-faced flying dragon, youthful and invincible, jade trees facing the wind, and gathered thousands of favors. If I'm not handsome, then I have to trouble Qiu Bojun to delete "beautiful" from the dictionary.
"I'm not handsome anymore, why do I still need this word?" a voice asked.
"Yes." Another voice with the same tone answered.
Today is the three-month anniversary of the love between the leader and his wife. A group of vicious dog legends, wolves from the Great Northern Wilderness, and national sumo wrestlers gathered at the "Little One" restaurant. The leader is a late lover, and he didn't really fall in love until he was 21 years old. The leader's wife is a girl he has had a crush on for three years, named Wenwen. The leader said that when an old man falls in love, it is like an old house on fire and cannot be saved. It's so fanatical~ I think Qiu Bojun, the editor-in-chief of Xinhua Dictionary, can't think of any adjectives to describe it.
I heard Cao Zao, who was studying in the same city as Wenwen, say: "Since Wenwen followed our leader, she often wakes up in the middle of the night and wets her quilt several times with tears. How could she really regret following such a man who beats up evil people? It's good now. Now Wenwen is always chasing people and playing face-breaking games!" Hey, you said that this is a black man, and it really doesn't take three minutes for a person to become bad.
The waiter handed out a menu to each person and waited for us to order. I pointed to the four most eye-catching characters on the menu: "I want to welcome you."
Zhang Jun pointed to "Teaor Cake" and said: "I want Tea!"
Pheasant said: "I want cake!"
Cao Egg: "Then give me some or!"
Do you think the actions of our group are more compact than those of very professional white-collar workers, and more refined than the style of well-trained soldiers? Just when the waiter's face changed from pink to yellow to green, Lao Bian added, "The relationship between calculus and Deng Xiaoping Theory should be like the relationship between Teaor Cake, right?" The waiter's face turned completely dark.
In the end, the leader's wife ordered a few side dishes, and then she saw the waiter leaving the place of trouble with a hiss like oil on her soles.
"Let's play around with the Sunday eight o'clock stall. Let me start by saying that the first dish is called Cold Telephone Line." I tried to push the atmosphere to a higher level.
"Stewed dog brains with pickles" someone responded immediately.
\ ccogene in in car Holding one's arms turns into sorrow"
"The sorrow comes and goes, and the sorrow turns into a disease"
"Ice cream is too expensive to sell for five yuan. "
" Have fun, have fun! " Oh ~ ~ Wenwen is also participating!
"The belt strangled a chicken"
"Chicken~~what's the chicken? Are there any chickens or eggs? Is chicken tenders and scrambled eggs okay? It doesn't seem to work. Chicken, hamburgers, French fries and eggs, it doesn't seem to work either." Lao Bian looked painful.
Everyone was lost in thought, what kind of dish is made of chicken and eggs?
"It would be nice if there was something called eggs." Wenwen dragged her chin with her hand and looked at the ceiling, thinking hard.
"………………"
"Damn, just eggs will do, you bunch of idiots." Lao Bian made a superman gesture.
Often awakening is always instantaneous, and it also requires paying a heavy price. When we pounced on Lao Bian, Wenwen once again witnessed the crazy action scene. I believe that Laobian will learn the famous saying of "stay away from eggs, keep clean and take care of yourself" in the future. After all, there is no TickTwo in life!
"According to me, you are all 21 days old - bad guys!" Wenwen stood up for justice and pointed at us with dignity.
Just when we were about to fly the knives, forks and chopsticks as usual, the leader showed his two tattoos: "Zuo Qinglong (the left side has a cruel tattoo), and the right white tiger (the right side has a cruel tattoo). Who dares to be presumptuous?"Then she faced Wenwen delicately, with the eyes of rain clouds beside the rainbow and the expression of an innocent little duck, and said affectionately: "As long as I am here, you don't have to be afraid of anything. I will protect you for the rest of your life." "
"Shoot, it's so disgusting. This old man not only deceives good and fears evil, but also likes to let others experience two extreme visual effects at the same time. "Although the whole scene was basically controlled and quiet, we were all cursing the old man with each other's eye waves: "I am AB and you are CD's EF. "My chicken feet, your rice chicken." "I'm so excited, you're so excited." Hei Zai is also very funny. He has a famous saying: "Oh, this is a money-making thing, don't you think?" ? ? ? "So when the main course was served, he ate up all the meat and vegetables without any hesitation. It's rare for people to save fat in summer to prepare for aestivation, and this is one of them. So whenever we prepare to eat late-night snacks for the rise of China, we will ask him for advice, because he is the only one who knows which store has more than two vermicelli noodles. Three scallion tendons, four ounces of oil and salt. Which store can only drink boiled water but no herbal tea? Which store... The virtue of diligence and thrift is vividly reflected in his body, although his family is better off than mine. In addition to playing cards, we will also discuss the past together in the evening, talking about Cao Zao's affair with the leader ten years ago. Half of my teeth were knocked out, so-and-so played Legend and bought a ten-dollar ballpoint pen one day to trick my family into writing essays, and so on. When it comes to happy things, we burst into laughter. Then in the middle of the night, I would ride a motorcycle to send these animal wonders home. Sometimes I would look up and see the moon, and I would think to myself, you have been watching me for twenty-two years. , I have never seen you become smarter, no wonder some people complained about you: "I originally set my heart on the bright moon, but the bright moon shines on the ditch." I wanted to continue scolding Niu Lang and Weaver Girl, but my eyelids really couldn't stand it. I fell asleep without even peeing. I looked at 2:02 before going to bed. When I woke up, it was still 2:02. It was just daytime. In this way, the summer vacation passed slowly.
\Nine Attractions of the Opposite Sex
I took the same familiar train K407 back to school. The first semester of every academic year in the university is the busiest semester because there are freshmen coming. The freshmen are rushing to find their classmates and senior sisters from the same hometown as their backers, and the sophomores are also looking for them. I know a new girl from my hometown, so old friends like us are naturally indifferent to this matter. I don't want to harm the junior girls, and there is no need to live in two places alone. When the freshmen ask what emergency toilets are there in this school, I will answer that I am also a freshman, and I am also looking for a bathroom with a home theater. What I want at the beginning of the new semester is to relax and calm down from the summer carnival. This calm lasted for a month. During this month, I met a girl named Ding Ding online. She was a compatriot from Inner Mongolia. I thought she must be the kind of bold and cheerful girl. She and I became Internet friends who talked about everything. I call them "them" because they always type and talk to me. The one who typed is called Dongdong and the one who speaks is Xiaohui. I didn't know this from the first chat. It turned out to be a long-planned plan to embarrass me, a smart person. "Feng Sheng Shui Qi, are you up? Lazy person! "There is a picture with big eyes shaking in QQ.
"My online name is not Feng Sheng Shui Qi, but she asked me where I was at that time, and I replied that I am wherever the wind blows. That's why she uses wind as a metaphor for people. My online name is "I Love Clouds"
"What time is it, there are three telephone poles in the sky, and I am on time at five o'clock in the morning. I opened my eyes (opening my eyes on time and talking in my sleep), I just finished running ten laps of the football field at six o'clock (running on the bed), I just finished memorizing the X alphabet in the Harvard English-Chinese Dictionary at seven o'clock (there is only one word: "
" "Shit~~~~ You are really wordy. You are the kind of person who will even tell others the structure of your watch when someone asks you what time it is." . .Did you skip class again? "
"I've been skipping Sunday classes since the first grade! "I continued boredly: "It was the first time in the second grade that I copied someone else's homework. In the third grade, I learned to scold the nurse when giving an injection. In the fourth grade, I watched (New Mandarin Duck and Butterfly Dream) for the first time, not to mention crying and even farting. In the fifth grade, I learned to write a love letter to my sister in the sixth grade using homework paper. , the sixth grader is skilled in using paper to write love letters to his fifth grade sister..."
"Looking at your QQ signatures are all Buddhist words, then you should be an honest and honest person, but why are you a person who does not do his job properly and is inexplicably imaginative? "
" I reopened QQ's detailed information and saw: "Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, who has been practicing deep Prajnaparamita for a long time, saw that the five aggregates are empty and can survive all sufferings. Relics, form is not different from emptiness, emptiness is not different from color, form is emptiness, emptiness is form (all bullshit!)" It has not been changed, it is the same as before. Is it possible that she did not see the last four words of mine?
"Look carefully, don't miss anything. "I added.
……………………
"Ah~~I'm convinced YOU. "
"Is your sentence a question or a hypothetical question? What role does it play? Continuing the past or initiating the following? "I typed on the keyboard quickly.
"This is a declarative sentence, connecting the previous and not the next. "The response over there!!
" "Would it appear that I was immodest if I said I had given a prize?" "
"No, it will only make you look like you have long hair and short knowledge. "Obviously she started to make trouble.
" "It doesn't hurt if you don't behave!" La~~~ You have seen that I am the most perfect man in the world. I am handsome, handsome, literary, humorous, emerald-like skin, calm and determined, strong body, strong and soft character, wild and magnetic masculinity. Now I just want you to see the slightest hint of naughtiness in my maturity. "The keyboard is clicking.
"I'm dizzy, a narcissist, an arrogant maniac, a self-admirer, a boaster..."
"Perhaps it's more acceptable to you if I say this: Sometimes I'm like a literary giant, I speak well, sometimes I'm like a respected hero, and I'm all-rounded in dealing with people. "Sometimes he is like an upright man, unstoppable, and sometimes he is like a tenacious cockroach with amazing vitality. He is really a model among men, a perfect endorsement, and impeccable." The keyboard is crying~~~~
"Can't you stop saying things that make the CPU fan sour? Can't you add some gentleness to the Internet? Do you want me to attack you personally? I really can't compliment you on your language organization skills. I have to use my ice-smart mind to understand it thoroughly. "The other party said with great disdain.
"Because it feels very enjoyable to sing opposite to you. "Their cuteness prevents me from hating them." "It takes a lot of searching to talk to you, but it can train people." I fought them for 300 rounds, which is 100 rounds more than the 200 rounds Zhang Fei and Ma Chao fought back then (if you want to say 10 more rounds) 0 rounds? ~~Who doesn't know that 300 minus 200 is equal to 100? Is it possible that it can still be equal to Newton's law? ) I feel tired. "I am so tired. All I see is Marx waving to me. I can even see his telangiectasia clearly." "
"Me too! ! Dongdong said that we all took her for granted. I feel really sorry for her. We are about to go to work too. "It seems that this sentence is what Xiaohui said (another nonsense)
"Happy time flies by very fast, it's time to say goodbye, 8 is two 8~~~" I waved to the monitor.
"88888888888 88888888888" (offline).
I turned off QQ and looked at the green mountains and forests in the distance, but at ten o'clock, at seven o'clock and four steps, I saw an unknown object with a resume recommendation form looking at me with hesitant eyes.
“Look at me again~~~”
“………”
“Still looking at me~~~”
“………”
“Look at me again, and I will use you as toilet paper”
“…… ..."
I finally stood up and walked straight to the water dispenser, and drank a glass of water. Chatting with them was really draining my energy. "Tsk, tsk, it turns out that distilled water has no taste," I thought to myself. I thought I could taste the taste of pearl tomatoes and pomegranate.
After drinking the water, I returned to the computer. When I was 0.7 millimeters away from the computer, I walked around to the resume sheet, picked it up, and read it. Oh, it turns out to be a draft of Confucius' resume. I looked around, but Confucius was not there, and suddenly I felt like an old wolf<
