1. Getting up early in the morning, Guo Jingming solemnly wrote four words on his notepad: Xiaohan today, while showing a warm and bright smile.
2. Disciple, I didn't expect that you got this thousand-year-old snow lotus by mistake, which can increase your practice by a decade. Come, I will eat it for you as a teacher.
3. Young people are full of confusion about life, so they go to Zen masters for enlightenment.
The Zen master handed him a small map of the maze without saying a word.
A few days later, the young man visited again: "Master, I understand. I have been studying this maze for several days, but I can never find the exit. Life is generally like this, and there is no end when you encounter obstacles everywhere..."
After hearing this, the Zen master shook his head helplessly: "Stupid! I asked you to scan the QR code of my WeChat."
4. A friend is selling in a home furnishing mall.
The eldest sister who came here today said she wanted to buy a clock, a floor-standing one, and said it would be placed in the toilet
My friend asked in confusion: "Why do you want to put it in the toilet?"
The eldest sister said very knowledgeable: "I want to have a clock for shit."
5. A woman had just given birth to a baby, and a group of girlfriends went to visit her.
One of my girlfriends came over and said: Wow, he looks like your husband!
Another girlfriend said: Yes, they look very similar, especially when they are feeding, their eyes look so similar!
Suddenly everyone in the room was silent. .
1. Today I came up with a trick to find a seat in the library: Step 1: Find a seat with a girl;
Step 2: Hand in a note prepared in advance and write: "Classmate, I have liked you for a long time and hope to date you";
Step 3: If the girl immediately collects her school bag and leaves, then, congratulations, you have a seat;
If the girl smiles at you, then, congratulations, what else is there? Self-study;
Of course, there is a very small chance...
2. The teacher said something thought-provoking: when urging food, saying "no" is more effective than "hurry up";
when bargaining, saying "look again" is more effective than "cheaper";
when trying to retain something, saying "you go" is more effective than "don't do this";
if you can't keep something, throw it as far away as possible, and it may bounce back when it hits something.
3. To praise a person who studies mathematics for his hard work, you can praise him for there is nothing in his analysis that he has not proved;
to praise a person who studies mathematics for his aura, you can praise him for his good combination;
When you scold someone who studies mathematics, just say he is engaged in statistics.
4. The once-a-semester lying contest is about to begin again.
In the next half month, you will enjoy wonderful works such as "I haven't read the book", "I don't know anything", "I haven't done any questions", "I don't know anything at all", "I will definitely fail this time".
