1. I killed Baidu yesterday. Before he died, he asked me why I wanted to kill him. I just sneered: You know too much.
2. Grandpa said: I have watched Xinwen Lianbo for decades, but I still haven't seen the finale.
3. My sister has been a virgin for 17 years, and finally last night it became 18 years.
4. A woman who is redder than red diamonds falls in love with a man who is more yellow than yellow diamonds. Finally, a mistress who was greener than a green diamond came along and gave birth to a son named Member.
5. Don't think that if you send text messages in class, I don't know who would giggle at the crotch.
6. There are always thirty days a month when I don't want to study. This feeling is strongest in February.
7. Whoever lets me celebrate April Fool's Day, I'll let him celebrate Tomb-Sweeping Day.
8. Pretending is only for a moment, being shameless is eternity.
9. A girl called me just now: "Come to my house, there is no one!" She ran away excitedly! ! ! After knocking on the door for a long time, I found that there was really no one there.
10. When money stands up and speaks, all truth is silent.
11. From now on, my mother will no longer have to worry about my studies, so easy.!! Holding a Backgammon lighter in her left hand and a textbook in her right hand, I don't know where to click. !!!!
12. Failed geography? normal! Do you still know the way home?
Political failure? normal! China has 1.3 billion people. Is it your turn to be the president?
Failed physics? normal! Do you still need to calculate air resistance when jumping off a building?
Failed English? normal! We are all Chinese.
Failed the Chinese language? normal! Do you need to use rhetorical techniques to curse people?
Failed math? normal! Do you use functions when you go shopping for groceries?
13. What TV show do we watch? At the end, the hero and heroine get married, and the TV show ends. What does this mean? Explanation: As soon as you get married, there will be no future.
14. I picked up 10 yuan on the side of the road and handed it into the hands of the handsome network administrator. The handsome guy took the money and nodded to me. I happily said, "I want to become a member."
15. Things lost and found. Always second hand.
16. Baidu, I heard that you know everything. Let me ask you, do you understand me?
17. During class, someone passed a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to blame him. What is written is: Are you there?
18. The beauty was robbed by the post-80s generation, the position was taken by the post-70s generation, and the money was made by the post-60s generation. What else do we, the post-90s generation, have?
19. Female: What is your opinion about sex? Male: No opinion, but there are many ways to do it.
20. There is a kind of crash called wrong password input, there is a kind of panic called account login from another place, there is a kind of emotion called invisible and visible, and there is a kind of loss called you not having access rights.
21. The price of graves has risen so fast that I can't afford to die.
22. Yesterday, I went to the city to participate in a pigeon releasing competition, but I went alone.
23. Many people break into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.
24. If you regard me as a game, I will cheat and torture you to death.
25. Dare you curse me for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets? I curse you for buying instant noodles only with seasoning packets!
26. In reality, you use your real name to tell lies, and on the Internet, you use pseudonyms to tell the truth.
27. When you are proud, your friends will know you. When you are in trouble, you make friends.
28. When I was a child, I loved playing hide-and-seek. After others hid it, I would go home to eat.
29. Have you ever thought about how your underwear feels when you fart? Yes, yes.
30. Whether you are mean or not, the mistress is there. Infertility.
You are two or not two. Two is there, neither three nor four.
31. When SARS happens, grab jealousy, and when nuclear radiation hits, grab salt! Have you ever considered how you feel about soy sauce?
32. When a man is dumped, it's about money; when a woman is dumped, it's about appearance; when I was dumped, there's something wrong with your fucking brain! !
33. So many people like such an unpleasant song "Uneasy". What a disdain! !
34. The ringtone for the end of get out of class is more pleasant than the national anthem, and the ringtone for class is more depressing than anxiety.
35. The most charming person is Master Kong. Thousands of people follow him every day.
36. Today, 10086 sent another message. He still cares about me so much. But I wish he would say "Happy April Fools' Day" after notifying me that the balance is insufficient!
37. Eye exercises: (→_→)( ↑ _ ↑ )(←_←)( ↓ _ ↓ )(→_←)( ↑ _ ↓ ) (←_→)( ↓ _ ↑ )! ! ! ! !
38. Everyone who says he doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart.
39. Looking at a temple from a distance, looking at our alma mater from a close distance, there are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.
40. Life is a chess game, and I am willing to be a pawn. Although my actions are slow, who has ever seen me take a step back?
