1. Five hundred years later, Wukong met Tang Sanzang and tearfully said: Being trapped under the Five-Finger Mountain for five hundred years is nothing, but the worst part is that both hands are outside... 2. Bai Suzhen: "Fahai, you don't understand love!" "Fahai: "I even gave you the most prosperous Leifeng Pagoda in the area, what more do you want!" 3. The Bull Demon King made a mistake, and his wife, Princess Iron Fan, endlessly criticized him. Sun Wukong couldn't stand it anymore and stepped forward saying, "Sister-in-law, are you criticizing Lord Niu again?" Princess Iron Fan was stunned for a moment, then replied with a big smile, "Thank you, thank you!" "4. Fahai shouted passionately, "Suzhen! Xu Xian is just a mortal; humans and demons are on different paths! I have boundless magical power, so just follow me!" "Upon hearing this, Bai Suzhen hesitated greatly! Suddenly, Xiao Qing arrived and hurriedly shouted, "Sister, you mustn't! Fahai has no whip!" No whip! "5. Liu Bei was resting when shouts of battle came from outside the tent. Guan Yu rushed in: "We're surrounded, big brother, hurry and go!" "Liu Bei was shocked: "Yun Chang, you have to help me cover the retreat." "No problem!" Guan Yu raised his blade and sliced Liu Shan, who was playing by the bedside, in two. Liu Bei was furious: "Damn it, that's not what I was talking about!" Guan Yu turned around and killed Liu Feng with another slash. “Cao! But not this! "
A flash of the blade, and Liu Bei's legs turned blood-red...
6. At the celebration banquet, the boss said, "You two are my right-hand men! The booming business can't have happened without your tremendous effort!" The husband said, "This is our duty, it's only right!" The boss said, "We especially have to praise your wife—she's beautiful and really capable!" We probably need several men here to compete with her!" "As soon as she finished speaking, it suddenly became so quiet it was unsettling...... 7. The classmate next door is so diligent, reviewing English every night but seems dumb, only repeating oh yes, oh no, oh baby. 8. One winter day, a farmer woman found a snake frozen stiff outside the house. She felt sorry for it and stuffed it into her body, using its fiery body to warm the snake. The snake quickly woke up and became soft and limp. The farmer woman was very sad, so she put the snake outside again. 9. Today I was chatting online and saw a high school buddy online, so we started chatting. Me: "Bro, how have you been lately?" "It's okay, but our sex life hasn't been harmonious this week." "When did you find your girlfriend? And didn't you say anything?"“What do you mean, my right hand is broken.”
10. It is said that on Liu Bei's wedding night, after the foreplay, he leered at his beautiful wife and said, "It's time for the second to make an appearance!"
Suddenly, Guan Yu broke in and shouted, "Thank you, big brother!" He held his sister-in-law and said, "Let me show you the power of my little brother!"
Just as he finished speaking, Zhang Fei leapt through the window and shouted, "Thanks, second brother..."
11. A high school female classmate's signature: "My middle finger is so sore, I can't type on the keyboard." Below, a cute classmate replied: "Is your boyfriend on a business trip again?"
12. Guo Jingming closed the door and suddenly felt something hard pressing against the back of his head. At the same time, he heard a low voice say: "Don't move, or I'll kill you." Guo Jingming was stunned, then turned his head and shyly said: "Yao Ming, you are so bad!"
13. One summer day, I saw a buddy buy knee pads and asked if he was going to play basketball and work out. He said something that made me think for a long time before I understood. He said: "It's hot, and the mat is too hard."
14. Who is the last virgin on Earth? Picasso. Who is the last male virgin in the world? Shakespeare.
15. Sun Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm inside you." Princess Iron Fan: "Uncle, hurry and come out~ ah~ ah~ ah~" Sun Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm coming out, open your mouth." Princess Iron Fan: "Ah~~" ... Just saw this part and suddenly felt so wicked.
16. During a blind date, the boy asked the girl: "Uh, what kind of guy do you like?" The girl very elegantly said, "I'm just a gentle girl, looking for a gentle guy!" The boy awkwardly said: "Sorry, we... are not suitable!"
17. After the first intimate moment, I asked the girl how she felt, and I saw her blush and take out a McDonald's coupon. I was immediately overjoyed.
18. Two chemists went into a restaurant. When the waiter asked what they wanted to drink, one said: H2O, and the other said: H2O, too. Later, the second person died.
19. Under the hazy moon, my little girlfriend snuggled in my arms, looking dreamy. "Do you think it would be more romantic if there were two moons in the sky?" "I don't know, I only know that if there were two moons, you girls would be in trouble."
20. The grandson dug up an earthworm, and the grandfather said to him: "If you can straighten the earthworm, I will give you 10 yuan." In the end, the grandson really straightened the earthworm.Grandpa gave his grandson 10 yuan. - The next morning, grandpa gave his grandson another 10 yuan and said, 'This is a reward from your grandma!'
21. One day, a classmate took me to a bookstall to borrow a book. Classmate: 'Boss, do you have anything by Liu Bei?' The boss casually handed over a copy of 'Jin Ping Mei,' and the classmate happily left.
22. Xiao Ming found his lower body very itchy, so he went to the hospital for a check-up. The doctor said it was because his genitals often came into contact with unhygienic things.
Xiao Ming found this very strange, as he changed his underwear every day and never dragged the floor or stirred garbage with his genitals. How could this happen? Days went by, and suddenly one day, Xiao Ming's only dog at home died. Xiao Ming was so grief-stricken that he developed a high fever. After staying in the hospital for a while, Xiao Ming was amazed to find that his lower body was no longer itchy. Wow, it turns out that fever medicine and IV drips can cure genital itching.
23. They say a good girlfriend can save a man 20GB of computer space. In fact, a good boyfriend can save a woman 200 Nanfu batteries.
24. Back when we were in school, teachers were allowed to discipline students physically. Generally, boys did push-ups and girls did squats. While we were doing them, the teacher would stand nearby and say: 'This is for your own good. When you grow up, you'll understand.'
25. Today I saw two tough women arguing! One of them said: 'I curse that for the rest of your life, when you climax, you can only grab the sheets with one hand!' Instantly, she ended the other one...
26. Went on a blind date and had a meal with a girl. To be polite, I let her choose the dish. She only ordered one thing: a large plate of hairtail fish. So we started eating. After finishing, the girl smiled disdainfully, paid, and left. The next day, I talked to the intermediary on the phone. The intermediary relayed the girl's words: 'The boy ate the hairtail fish messily and threw out the bones, his tongue wasn't nimble. Forget it.'
27. In a bar, a man was complaining to his friend. The man grumbled: 'The other day, I only shook hands with a girl, but she actually became pregnant!' His friend was shocked: 'Are you kidding? Can you get pregnant from just a handshake?' The man said in frustration: 'Sigh, I don't like washing my hands, and I didn't expect she doesn't either!'
