1. It's said that someone masturbates using a fish mouth, which gave me a new understanding of the word 'masturbate.'
2. Two little birds were standing on the neutral and live wires, living peacefully. Later, the male bird kissed the female bird. This story tells us that those who show their love publicly are doomed. The chemical composition of a bird's beak is apatite, and apatite is non-conductive. Yet these two birds were electrocuted—it's obvious, they kissed with their tongues...
3. A year ago I still thought black fungus was delicious; two years ago, the lyrics 'fallen chrysanthemums, the ground full of sorrow' seemed very artistic; three years ago I still thought Mop was funny and Tianya was for making friends; even more outrageously, seven years ago I naively believed that there was a one in ten thousand chance of getting pregnant from kissing; the most ridiculous of all, ten years ago I thought sitting on a bench that a boy had used could get me pregnant, and now just seeing a young married woman raising a big dog makes me laugh meaningfully!
4. "Abbot, when will you finally marry me?" "Nun, you and I are both monastics, how could we…" "If you don't marry me, I will immediately kill this arrogant old Taoist!!" "MLGB, old thief nun! If you dare touch him, I'll fight you!"
5. A pair of doctoral students at a university of Chinese medicine were about to marry. The groom's surname is Long, the bride's surname is Chen. They asked their supervisor to write a couplet for them. Without refusing and considering their majors, the supervisor wrote the upper line: 'One dragon bone, reduces fever, relieves itching, generates fluid'; the lower line: 'Two pieces of chenpi, reduces swelling, quenches thirst, transforms phlegm.' Across the top: 'Effective in one day.'
6. "What am I to you?" "You are my Uleme!" "Why?" "So that I can insert the tube."
7. A couple in a long-distance relationship chatted every day on their phones, always showing a distance of 1648 km. Before the New Year, the girl couldn't handle the distance and suggested breaking up. The boy stayed silent. On New Year's Eve, the girl went home and refreshed her phone, seeing the boy's distance only 1.1 km away, and after another refresh, only 0.9 km. She understood what was happening, and with tears in her eyes, walked to the door… That night, their distance became -5 cm, and the next day they still broke up. Do you understand?
8. One day, during a moral education class, the teacher said to the students: 'Since childhood, we must learn honesty and cannot lie…' Xiao Ming asked: 'Teacher, how many times do you… every night?' The teacher's face changed: 'Out!'
9. Bai Suzhen: 'Fahai, you don't understand love!'"Fahai: 'I even gave you the Leifeng Pagoda in the most bustling area, what more do you want!' Xiaoqing shouted beside him, 'Sister, no, Fahai has no whip!!!'\10. 'Diary of a Female Writer at Sea' Monday: Met the captain. Tuesday: The captain invited me to dinner. Wednesday: The captain wanted to be with me, I refused. Thursday: The captain threatened to sink the ship if I didn't comply. Friday: I saved over seven hundred people. Saturday: I saved repeatedly. Sunday: The captain called for help, but I still wanted to save everyone.\11. Liu Bei was resting when cries of battle came from outside the tent. Guan Yu burst in: 'We're surrounded, big brother, run!' Liu Bei panicked: 'Yunchang, you must cover our retreat.' 'No problem!' Guan Yu swung his sword, and Liu Chan, playing at the head of the bed, was cut in half. Liu Bei was furious: 'That's not what I meant!' Guan Yu turned and cut down Liu Feng nearby. 'Damn! Not that either!' With a flash of the blade, blood spattered between Liu Bei's legs…\12. First line: Lu Zhishen masturbates himself deeply, Lu moans. Second line: LeBron James fights the lioness till dusk, LeBron's mother gets wet. Donnie Yen shakes his testicles until painful, Yen worries himself. Sha Wujing kills the demon until clean, Sha grabs the shaft. Zhou Libo bores into the boat, Zhou regulates waves, ends up rising. Cecilia Cheung poses wildly, fluid spurts. Pan Jinlian longs for sperm, beggars the shaft to drip, Pan is wet. Kaede Matsushima penetrates the seam, Matsushima goes crazy.\13. First line: Chen Guan sucks Cecilia's juice, Nicholas goes mad. Second line: Zeng Yi bites Li Yu's lips, Luo closes. Zhou Xing holds the big chicken, Deyun shoots. Bi Fu sees Mo Xiaobei, Zhou Jie rotates. Kim Jong-il, Feng Xiaogang, Song Hye watches! Chen Pei tears Huang Sheng's clothes, Louis Koo. Muri rides Li Zhang Pig, Shen Xiang helps. Zhang Shaohan holds the big chicken, Zeng wilts. Zhou Libo pokes Guo De, small kidney itches.\14. A forest near the village was home to a ferocious dragon; no one could defeat it. Every week, the dragon ate a virgin. Later, a hero came, determined to kill the dragon and save the village. He thought the dragon was too strong and could only be tricked! Later… the dragon starved to death. This story teaches us: don't be picky, or you'll die!!!"
