(1) Su Xiaomei Absolutely Solves Brother's Worries\ A person gave Su Dongpo a couplet:\ Upper line: The loofah on the shelf is as harsh as a hanging tool\ Dongpo thought for a long time but couldn't come up with the lower line. Even at home, he couldn't lift his worry.\ Xiaomei asked why, and Dongpo told her. She casually replied with a lower line:\ Lower line: The lotus in the pond is just like a hole\ Comment: So it turns out Su Xiaomei was a talented libertine back then~ The Su family is really awesome\ \ (2) Flower Candle Night Couplets for Newlyweds\ A 38-year-old man married a 25-year-old woman.\ On the night of the wedding, a couplet was presented.\ Man's upper line: One gun, two bullets, thirty-eight years without participating in battle;\ Woman's lower line: One hole, two doors, twenty-five years never entered a person.\ Horizontal inscription: Bright Moon Pine (hiding the meaning of 'Moon Day Moon Pine')\ Comment: Don't know in which place they recite erotic couplets even during wedding nights...\ \ (3) Cadres Sent to the Countryside Couplets\ Upper line: No milk to drink in the morning, no milk to touch at night\ Lower line: No balls to care about during the day, balls irrelevant at night\ Horizontal inscription: Unbearable Pain (pun sounds like 'hole')\ Comment: This cadre in the future is bound to have three thousand women in the harem.\ \ (4) Comparison of Past and Present Brilliant Couplet\ Upper line: Recalling the past, red rice, pumpkin soup, one wife, a group of children.\ Lower line: Looking at today, white rice, turtle soup, one child, a group of wives.\ Horizontal inscription: Keep up with the times\ Comment: Even Mao's poetry can be changed like this; probably even Mao would feel helpless to know.\ \ (5) Two Lawyers Remarried Clever Couplets\ A man and a woman, both lawyers, remarry.\ After entering the bridal chamber, the female lawyer presented a couplet for reply.\ Upper line: Night raid on Pearl Harbor, beauty fertilized.\ Man replied: Two atomic bombs, Japan and Germany surrender.\ Horizontal inscription: World War II\ Comment: Lawyers not only have brains, but their eloquence is also superb.\ \ (6) Teacher and Student Erotic Couplets\ Teacher gives upper line: Moon sets\ Student replies lower line: Sun rises\ Teacher gives upper line: Monk\ Student replies lower line: Nun\ Teacher gives upper line: Green mountain\ Student replies lower line: White water\ Teacher gives upper line: Go\ Student replies lower line: Come\ Putting all lines together reads:\ Moon sets, monk, green mountain goes\ Sun rises, nun, white water comes\ Comment: Like master, like disciple—a pair of erotic teacher and student\ \ (7) Older Man and Woman Clever Couplet\ An older man met an older woman in the park.\ Man gives upper line: Full of strength but no land to plow;\ Woman replies lower line: Two acres of good land lying idle, waiting for someone to plow.\ Horizontal inscription: Shameful Waste\ Comment: One wants to plow, one wants to be plowed, what are they waiting for? (8) Clever Connection Between Brush Caps and Brush Holders
Upper line: When the sun goes in, the ink flows down
Lower line: When the waves rise, both feet face the sky
Comment: I wonder which expert could take this as an obscene couplet—it's really impressive.
(9) Four People Continue the Absolute
One day, four gentlemen were sitting idly with nothing to do and suggested matching couplets.
Person A presented: "Gently, intimately, dear dear"
Person B continued: "Silently, touching, granny granny"
And further continued: "Secretly, seeking, mew mew"
Person D also continued: "Hastily, scrubbing, chicken chicken."
Comment: Jiangnan's four great talents?
(10) Nuns vs. Monks
It was New Year, and the monk posted a couplet on the door:
Daytime there's nothing (to do) with the ball; at night the ball is nothing.
Horizontal inscription: Incomparable worries.
The nun also posted a couplet on her door:
Daytime is hollow; at night, the hole is empty.
Comment: Indeed, they are well matched.
