A long time ago, I had a catty bit of integrity. That was a long time ago [Forwarded]
(buy=10000000) Question: "What impressions do you have of Korea?" Netizens replied: "A fragile nation where beautiful girls eat spicy cabbage every meal and get leukemia and die from leukemia after a few pork belly meals with wealthy people." One day, a reporter asked Han Han: "May I ask, when your mother and Guo Siniang fell into the water together, who would you save first?" Many people wondered why such a question was asked. Han Han confidently said, "Save Mingming first." The whole room erupted in uproar and discussion. Han Han noticed everyone's confusion and added, "The water is 1.4 meters deep!" Instantly, thunderous applause erupted. Han Han's wit moved everyone present, and then everyone stood up and sang a song of 'Snow White and the Seven Guo Jingmings' by 3Lou - Sha Bi. "Someone said, what if you insult yourself with that? Bro laughs, with 850 horsepower and hand speed, F5 speed, and still can't steal the second floor. Also, I want to grass the dog head on the third floor, stroke the third floor's anus, and slap the big boobs on the third floor!" The second floor is mine. The idiot on the third floor thought they stole my second floor, but ended up cursing themselves. I laughed and took the third floor's face, grabbing 2L, playing with my heartbeat. I laughed and patted the third floor's dog head, and wildly grassed the wife, girlfriend, or goddess on the second floor. Someone asked, why did you steal the second floor's second floor and still grass the second floor? Haha, damn my wife, my girlfriend, my goddess, so what? But if that guy grabs the second floor and makes me self-draw, he'll definitely crazy his wife, his girlfriend, his goddess. My IQ only deserves worship, and while I'm on the 4th, 5th, 6th floor, the same face, then touching the 10th floor's dog's head. What if I mess up? They will definitely say 3L is bright; If I show your MLGB, will I fail? Lose you MLGB ... (/buy) "If you get rabies, what's the first thing you should do?" "I want paper and pen." "Write a will?" "No! List the people I want to bite." A reporter asked the Premier: "Excuse me, does China have internet freedom? Can I go on Facebook?" Many people were puzzled: Why ask such a question? Everyone was curious to see how the Premier would respond. The Premier confidently said, "Of course it can be made!" The whole audience erupted in excitement and discussion. The Premier noticed everyone's confusion and said, "You can get on the Diaoyu Islands in our country." Instantly, applause erupted. The Premier's wit moved everyone present, and the applause lasted for a long time. A classmate I hadn't contacted for years suddenly sent four types of QQ messages: 1. I'm getting married next month, so let me know. 2. My buddy is about to buy a house soon. Can you lend me some money? 3. Are you there? What are you doing? Can you buy things online now?4. I sent you a song, you can listen to it by dialing 125****** and pressing 1 after the prompt! There's also my recording afterward! Yang Lan said: I once heard Bai Yansong say: the last words before Chai Jing disappeared were: Don't forget Steve Jobs' advice: Bill Gates once told me: Buffett said: China has a great scholar named Lu Xun. He said: I will never forget Hu Shi's earnest teachings: Confucius said: Never trust famous quotes. Yesterday, I finally asked a classmate for Teacher Cang's seed, and excitedly downloaded it on my dad's computer, then a dialog box popped up saying 'The file already exists, do you want to replace the original file?' I was instantly petrified... A young man asked a Zen master: My girlfriend always threatens to break up with me; I hope master can give me guidance. The Zen master smiled silently, grabbed a chicken, tied a string around its drumstick, and pulled the string, causing the chicken to fall immediately. The chicken struggled and got up to keep moving, the master pulled again, the chicken fell again, and this was repeated eight times. The young man seemed enlightened: 'Master, are you teaching me to play hard to get and cast a long line to catch a big fish?' The master smiled: 'Young man, I'm telling you to pull the d*** down.' The watch's second hand fell off, so I took it for repair. After it was fixed, I asked the watch repairer: 'How could the second hand fall off for no reason?' The repairer rolled his eyes and said: 'You shake too much, change to the other wrist next time.' Change to the other wrist… change wrist… wrist… [When your girlfriend doesn't reply to your messages]: 25% of guys think, maybe she's asleep; 15% think, probably busy; 60% think, damn it! What did I do wrong again?!! Standard commentary: James drives in and passes, Kobe catches in the corner and scores. Artistic commentary: LeBron strolls leisurely through the opponent's area, Kobe at the perimeter instinctively knows. Where the man is, the ball is, and the hand strikes like a knife. Foolish commentary: Kobe got it, and it's all James' credit! In the quiet of the night, I often ask myself whether it was right or wrong to decide to come to Earth for development… Going downstairs to buy ice cream, I ran into a couple having an argument; the woman was crying and about to leave, but still holding the man's hand! The man pulled her into his arms and said something that still makes me twitch: Don't forget! Didn't we promise to be each other's angels!! God knows how much I wanted to smash this ice cream into their faces! The most awkward moment is when two people who are half-acquainted want to greet each other on the street but worry about whether their relationship is close enough, end up chickening out, pretend not to see each other, and get misunderstood as being arrogant or ignoring people… Anyone feel the same~?Period dramas often have such plots—two highly skilled martial heroes have a duel, equally matched, and thus turn enemies into friends. After drinking together and sleeping side by side, they become sworn brothers, and secretly develop feelings for each other. But they know this relationship is not allowed, so they can only leave each other and let the feelings fade. When parting, they clasp fists and sincerely say: 'Regret a wife!' One man lived in seclusion in the mountains. One day, he lay naked in the grass to rest. Suddenly, a little girl picking mushrooms appeared: 'One mushroom, two mushrooms, three, four, five, five, five, five...' Eventually, she gave up and left. The man was very pleased. The next day, he still slept naked there, and a mother bear came to pick mushrooms: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 5... 6, 7, 8...' On the riverbank, there were two villages: the village chief on the east side of the river often strengthened the levee with the villagers; the village chief on the west side misappropriated funds for food and drink. When a flood came, the west river levee broke, so the village chief led the villagers to fight the flood and rescue efforts on the front line. TV stations interviewed them every day, and higher authorities allocated funds for disaster relief. The west village chief was promoted three levels for his meritorious service. The east river levee remained firm and everything was fine, and the village chief stayed as village chief. The two most common phrases that trigger fights in Northeast China are: 1. 'What are you looking at?' 2. 'What are you gonna do about it?' Every time after a long argument, suddenly in your mind you think, 'If I had said this at the time, would it have sounded cooler?' Then you get trapped in an uncontrollable fantasy, imagining the other person's reaction, and feel really anxious about yourself...
