1. In a poor mountainous area, because they had no money, men all used urea bags as underwear. One day, a newcomer got married. When the groom took off his trousers, the bride screamed and fainted: the front of his underwear had "Net Weight 25 kg" printed on it.
2. Dialogue between a fortune teller and a young woman: "Your fortune is not good." "Why?" "Because you carry an ominous sign on your body." "Then can I take off my bra?" "No, if you take it off, the ominous sign will lead to two big waves in your life."
4. During a lecture, the female teacher's zipper was undone. A student stood up and reminded her: "Teacher, your door isn't closed!" The teacher waved her hand: "Never mind, the head of guidance will come to watch in a moment."
5. A modern fashion description: The shirt is so short it exposes the belly button, glasses are worn on the crown, all ten toes are different colors, the heels of the shoes lack straps.
6. Even if it's just a gust of wind, it refuses to go away; even if it's just a dream, it is so real; you look down silently, yet I cannot stay calm: announce before you fart.
10. One day, a clean and pretty little pig with a bow around its neck pranced over to you, looked at you with admiration, wagged its tail, and sang to you—a song: When I grow up, I'll be you!
11. Last night, I thought of countless friends, but after all my thoughts, you are still the coolest. I searched for you a thousand times in my dream, and suddenly turned around, yet you were still cruelly tied up in someone else's donkey shed! Cruel! Cruel!
12. One day, a sparrow met a crow. The sparrow asked: "What kind of bird are you?" The crow said: "I am a phoenix." The sparrow said: "What black phoenix are you, you scoundrel?" The crow said: "You understand nothing, I am a phoenix who works in the boiler."
13. Life is like mahjong. Love at first sight is a heavenly hand, free love is an earth hand, arranged marriage is a normal hand, seducing someone else's husband is stealing a kong, having a child with someone else's husband is a kong on kong, having a lover is a single tile, having no lover is a blank tile.
14. You secretly enter my room, tiptoe onto my bed, and play hide-and-seek with me. I lose sleep and go crazy for you, must play hide-and-seek with you. I know you love me, want to kiss me, hug me, and even bite me; dead mosquito! I hit it.
15. After the female green frog and male green frog married, they gave birth to a bunch of toads. The male frog, heartbroken, cried: "Why did you love someone else behind my back?" The female frog laughed and answered: "I had plastic surgery before marrying you.""\View Large Image\ [L][/L]\ 16. There's an urgent matter I need to tell you. Stay calm and be mentally prepared. Some companions will be looking for you everywhere during the New Year. They said they must catch you. One is called Fortune, one is called Peace, and the leader is called Happiness. Don't hide… just accept your fate!\ 17. "Mom, I'm 13 now, I want to wear a bra." "No." "I want to use sanitary pads." "Also no." "Hasn't my sister started using them at 13?" "Shut up, son."\ 18. Imperial decree: Presented to Heaven, the Emperor proclaims: The climate has been changing a lot recently, with sudden cold and hot weather. Therefore, this decree is issued: Gentlemen, take good care of yourselves, dress warmly, avoid colds, and always maintain a happy mood. Those who oppose this decree will be cut off from association. Thus commanded. This was received on a mobile phone during the Spring Festival by a collector from Sanxia Online.\ 19. To get rich, recite scriptures often. From now on, every night recite the Tibetan scriptures: O Ma Ni Ma Ni Gou Mai Hong… You can also recite in English: "ALL MONEY GO MY HOME." Just work hard; reciting scriptures is very effective!\ 20. In the late night, Bush saw bin Laden standing at his bedside, disheveled. Bush exclaimed in shock: "How dare you break into the White House!" Bin Laden shook his chest-length beard and smiled eerily, saying: "Head & Shoulders, just so confident!"\ 21. Your text messages hide danger like a rose, your words are as unfathomable as algebra; this is your peril hidden behind a smile, this is a sign before you kill. Thus, you earned a graceful nickname — Rose Algebra Omen.\ 22. Your smile makes hearts beat, your sigh shakes the world, your mere standing paralyzes traffic, you look good without dressing up, and when you do dress up, even hens forget to lay eggs.\ 23. A wife is home, a lover is a flower; give salary to home, bonuses to flowers; tired, think of home, full and warm, admire flowers; sick, return home, well, offer flowers; care for this home, remember that flower, often come home to check, don't just gaze while watering flowers.\ 24. Are your ears itchy? That means I'm thinking of you! Eyes itchy? That means I want to see you! Mouth itchy? That means I want to kiss you! Body itchy? That means… stop imagining, you have lice, go take a shower quickly!\ 25. I heard you went on a business trip to the north. In the hotel, you asked the waitress: "How much is 'mo mo' (steamed bun)?" She gave you a cold look. You didn't notice and asked again: "How much is 'sleep' (dumpling)?" She slapped you and said: "Pervert!"26. During the Spring and Autumn and Warring States period, you commanded the entire army, wore a cooking pot as a helmet, a burlap sack as armor, tied a plastic bag around your waist, held an egg yolk pastry in your hand, stood on two cabbages, and were known as the Invincible in the East. When charging, you shouted: 'Whoever has broken bottles and cans, bring them out to sell!'
27. That night, while I was asleep, you softly sang as you came to my bed, gently touched my skin, then suddenly inserted yourself, making me feel ticklish. I slapped you—dead mosquito, see if you still bite me!
28. Someone was cycling in the street, reached an intersection, sprinkled some forward, and the traffic police saw it, exclaiming: 'Great palm!' The person happily waved in response: 'Comrades, thanks for your hard work!'
29. Telling one person your privacy makes them a confidant; telling a group makes you an idiot; telling the entire country your privacy, that's called 'An Artistic Life'!
30. You are so beautiful that ten thousand people desire you. One glance back, the lonely ghosts frown; a second glance back, a thousand-year mute shouts; a third glance back, Tyson switches to table tennis; a fourth glance back, Yang Guo falls in love with Li Mochou; a fifth glance back, fish in the Bo Sea no longer swim; a sixth glance back, monks start using Rejoice shampoo.
31. Two hens walked past a rooster. One asked: 'Why has he been so listless lately?' The other answered: 'He's tired from doing business!' Curious, the first hen asked: 'What's he selling?' The second sighed: 'Chicken essence.'
32. Three people competed over who could poop the prettiest. The first person shaped R, and the other two praised. The second person shaped &, and again was praised by the other two! The third person made a 3D equilateral triangle! The other two were in awe and asked: 'How did you do it?' The third said: 'Shaped it after pooping!'
33. Without flowers, spring would be lonely; without passion, the seasons would be dull; without me, you'd lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, the little rabbit would ask: 'Who should I race with?'
34. Good friends are like underwear: even through highs and lows, they accept you. Better friends are like condoms: always considering your safety. The best friends are like Viagra: always keeping you strong.
35. I know you are very busy, someone who does great things, but that shouldn't be an excuse. Ever since you went abroad to the West, how many years has it been since you came home? Come home often, Gao Village has changed a lot!
36. The female bird weeps with tears streaming down its face;The male bird said angrily: How many times have I told you, this ring was put on me by the bird research station, it's not a wedding ring! I'm not married yet!
37. Three mice were bragging. Mouse A said I eat rat poison like candy, Mouse B said I use mousetraps as trampolines, Mouse C said it's getting late, I should go home and sleep with the cat happily.
38. When you silently left me, I was in extreme pain, not knowing what to do. Watching your back disappear, I hated myself, it's all my fault… If I had gotten up earlier, I would have caught the bus.
39. You flashed by, making my blood boil, my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you, I told myself, I won't let you go again, absolutely not… Thief!
40. During the Cultural Revolution, a sent-down youth in the countryside saw a donkey stealing wheat. But he didn't recognize donkeys or wheat, so in panic he shouted: Somebody help! An animal is eating a plant!
41. One day, the principal loudly called: We must closely follow the changes in the shit field, speed up construction, strive for a small pee in three months, a big poop in half a year, resist leaking, and spread feces on the walls!
42. Dad: Shin-chan, quickly shoo the fly off your ice cream, do you hear me? Shin-chan: Dad, you won't let me skate, don't you also want it to skate here for a bit?
43. Dr. He proposed to Nurse Miss Bao, but was outright rejected. Dr. He asked her why. Miss Bao said: If I marry you and get pregnant, won't everyone call me a fried egg!
44. Do you know that when I didn't receive your message, I was so sad I tried: hanging myself with noodles, smashing tofu over my head, using vitamin C as poison, crashing bumper cars into mountains, parachuting off buildings!
45. Upper line: Live for money, die for money! Rush for money all life long! Lower line: Lose money, treat money as gain! Spend life dead over money! Horizontal inscribtion: Can't do without money!
47. The spider wanted to marry the fly. The fly refused, thinking the spider had no ability. But the spider said, at least I have a website!
48. When Old Li was driving, someone shouted at him: Pig. Old Li was very angry, rolled down the window and scolded: You're the pig! No sooner had he said that than he smashed into a group of pigs crossing the road!
49. A white mom was breastfeeding her child, and nearby a Black mom was also nursing. The white child cried, the mom asked, what's wrong, he said: I want chocolate-flavored milk too!
50. The girl proudly told her roommate: Oh no, annoying, guys cling to me like flies. The roommate replied without even looking up: Probably because you look like poop!
Bro, don't believe me, you guys have such a high sense of humor
