It's raining again; who would you think of at this moment?
It's raining, and the rain hitting the windowsill sounds like lonely breathing. Standing by the window, I trace on the glass the name I know so well I'm almost about to forget—'Leiyuer'… every time I write it, my heart aches. I think of you when it rains… Happiness feels like air behind glass; I try to reach for it but crash into it, bleeding profusely. The world has become too vast, so vast that even breathing tells lies. Pushing open the window, this dirty city becomes fresh, with the rain witnessing both its filth and cleanliness. Tears moisten my eyes, vision turns from clear to blurry; I lift my head to look at the sky, not letting the tears fall. Rain splashes on my face, and in this moment, my tears completely betray my strength. Longing starts to multiply the instant tears drop; I promised not to think of you anymore, yet my heart betrays my thoughts. …After being with you, everything about me began to turn contradictory. The heart's confusion, emotional indifference, and worse, the prospect of no longer longing. Your clean smile always appears in my mind; the pain starts to gnaw at my body, slowly spreading throughout. I open the door and rush into the rain, running, water dripping from my hair onto my face… My whole body is soaked, and I feel like an abandoned child. 'Hehe,' I've always been someone abandoned by the whole world; no one in this world would be willing to stay with me for a lifetime. Memories surge like a floodgate opening; I remember some people saying they would accompany me, take care of me for life, yet at the next crossroads, they went the opposite way. They turned sharply and left, leaving me only endless longing and incomplete remembrance; promises really were just unbearable words. My head grows heavier, and my legs finally can no longer support my body. Squatting on the ground, watching people pass by. I'm just a passerby; no one will remember me, and there's no reason for anyone to. I bury my head in my arms, tracing circles on the floor with my fingers. You are my circle, no matter how far I try to escape, I cannot get out of the circle you drew for me. You are like a poisonous vine, and this knot cannot be undone. Opening my eyes, everything surfaces; the gentleness you give makes me so infatuated. I push myself up and perform a drama of love and care in a one-person world—no audience, no applause, no sentimental lines, only tears witnessing the flourishing and decline of the story…
