I gave in. I thought she'd suffered enough already. I hugged her and comforted her, "Alright, alright, it's all in the past. From now on, you're still my Xia Ou, and I won't hold it against you. But don't go see his man again." I thought Xia Ou would be moved and throw herself into my arms and cry, grateful for my understanding and tolerance, and that she would turn over a new leaf and create tomorrow with me. But just as my beautiful dreams were unfinished, I heard Xia Ou answer in a resolute voice, "If he comes looking for me, I will still go." I stared at the woman, and she said she would still go. She acted like a loyal and brave martyr, brave and honest to the point of cruelty. "Don't you need to explain?" I asked coldly. "Don't ask for it, okay? Isn't it better just like this?" She cried out longingly. "Just like that? What about this? You occasionally meet other men, but every day you snuggle in my arms and say 'our child is like this'? Or are you just a prostitute who can't change your nature and have such a need?" I screamed hysterically, and it seemed as if even the windows were shaking. "You...... Why don't you just treat me as a lover? As long as you let me stay by your side, anything is fine. I can cook for you, I don't care if you get a girlfriend, just don't drive me away...... Her aggrieved and exhausted expression, her body like a tired stray cat, and her soft, pleading whispers all shocked me. I felt frustrated and helpless. I wanted to save Xia Ou, save our love, but she didn't want to.
Turns out, all she wanted was my occasional affection, or maybe she hadn't set her heart on me at all.
I had thought, as her mother said, that the most precious thing for a prostitute is a man's promise. But mine, Xia Ou didn't want it, I forced it on, and she got tired.
I slowly got up; I had to leave here. The air inside was terrible; I felt like an animal trapped in a cocoon, unable to breathe or move freely. And that pursuit of Xia Ou was the thickest cocoon of my life!
When I reached the door, I turned around and saw Xia Ou still sitting dazed on the sofa, hair messy, eyes vacant. The countless words of pity in my heart burst at that moment.
"Xia Ou! Xia Ou!"I couldn't control myself and ran over to hug her, shaking her wildly, turning her face and desperately kissing her lips. 'Xia Ou, what you're doing is wrong. We can live well, as long as you leave that man.' Then, using the last of my strength, I held her tightly and whispered coaxingly, 'Think about it, and our child too! Our child. Do you want him to have no name and no status? I am willing to give you these. In the future, we will be the most compatible couple, happily raising the most adorable child, watching him swing in the park. Guess what he would say? When he hears it, he'll have a chubby head and will shout in his childish voice, ‘Mom, Dad, look how high I'm swinging! I'm going to fly to outer space!' Xia Ou, don't be foolish, don't corner yourself, you have to think about our child too.'\ 'Our child?' she murmured, and suddenly she laughed wildly, like a madwoman, a laugh that made me break into a cold sweat, my heart plummeting cold. 'Our child, the day after you left, I went to the hospital and turned it into a pool of blood! Maybe it really went to outer space.'\ She kept laughing, laughing like that constantly. I couldn't accept this madwoman anymore; she had killed my child! I had been devoted to nurturing the one I had longed for so much, and she knew how much I loved that child.\ Yet she could bear to terminate him.\ 'As you wish, my dear Xia Ou.' Then I hurriedly walked away. There was a madwoman in that room, the murderer of my child! I left so hastily that I even forgot to change my shoes.\ When I reached the community gate, I felt like a homeless man who couldn't return home. I had never thought of driving Xia Ou out of my room. Because if I did, she would truly have nowhere to go.\ After that, I never returned home. Two months later, I received a call from Xia Ou; she had moved out.\ I almost immediately went back home, and when I opened the door, there was a sense of emptiness.\ When there is a woman in a home, the scent is familiar and subtle, but once she leaves, one immediately realizes how addicted one had been to that scent.\ I checked all the rooms. The diamond ring was still in the drawer, a pure white dress was hanging in the wardrobe—I knew that when Xia Ou wore it, she looked like a light, floating white cloud. Her facial cleanser was gone from the bathroom, and I saw a DVD on the coffee table titled 'Be a Good New Mom.' My tears poured uncontrollably, without my awareness."I thought I would find some note that she left, perhaps stating some conditions, like if you do this or that, I'll come home, or something like that. But there was nothing. The house turned back to how it was three years ago.
At night, I found a long, thin strand of hair by my bedside and treasured it like a rare gem. I looked at it over and over, then carefully kept it.
Two months later, Daban introduced me to a new girlfriend. She had just turned 21 and was a junior at a prestigious university. She was genuinely wonderful, and always looked like a child.
My girlfriend Xiaoman was like someone with ADHD. I often felt she matched Daban better. But she said she wasn't attracted to Daban. She was like that, always speaking with phrases she picked up from idol dramas, mismatched but content with herself.
At first, I couldn't get used to her jumping around like a flea, but over time it didn't bother me so much.
She couldn't cook, so I cooked for her. But I forced her to memorize that poem and recite it to me every day. At first, she refused, arguing it was too long, and I didn't talk to her for two days. Just when I thought Xiaoman and I were done, she ran to me and recited the poem boldly, then laughed and said everyone has some quirks, and when two people are together, you have to accommodate each other.
From then on, I genuinely accepted her and admitted she was my girlfriend. Of course, she reported me to her “buddy” Daban.
That was half a year after Xiaou left. I still couldn't find Xiaou.
Summer came again. Once summer arrived, my little girlfriend on summer break stuck to me all the time.
I had never felt Xiaou was small before; she was even a year younger than Xiaoman.
Perhaps Xiaoman's world was always sunny. Twenty-one-year-old Xiaoman was like an energetic cicada, chirping endlessly. She always had things to do, immensely bored yet happy beyond measure. Her greatest joy was secretly sneaking up behind me every morning, covering my eyes, and asking who she was. Then she would be thrilled when I answered correctly:
"Wife."
She wanted me to call her wife. She said everyone at school in relationships does that.
I used to want to call Xiaou wife, but she wouldn't allow it, laughing and saying we weren't married yet.
I forced myself not to compare Xiaoman with Xiaou, because she would lose terribly.
Xiaoman is indeed very young, as shown in her behavior: her admiration for handsome guys and her lack of understanding of football make her watch the European Championship with me every night at 2 a.m., yet she still falls asleep right at 2:10. She likes to act sweetly like a cat after making people angry. At the same time, she also has the urgent cries before a woman's period...... This cycle repeats endlessly, yet is full of relish.
Xiaoman is a good girl, and Xiaoman is a virgin.
The first time I made love with Xiaoman, I was a bit drunk and treated her like Xia Ou.
When I woke up in the morning and saw that rosy dark red on the bed, I was stunned. I couldn't bring myself to give Xiaoman a doting smile full of affection and joy. Xiaoman didn't notice any of this; she just clinged to my neck like a coquettish gesture, saying she had to marry me. I shivered at the time; I had never thought about marrying any woman other than Xia Ou.
I asked why.
She acted completely matter-of-fact: "Because I'm a virgin." "
Then I thought of Xia Ou again, and she calmly said she was a prostitute."
Then I had a headache.
A year later, I was almost 32, and I never saw Xia Ou again. So I started thinking about marrying Xiao Man.
I asked myself why, and it turned out to be the same as Xiao Man's.
Xiao Man proudly and confidently said, "Because I'm a virgin." "
Xiaoman is just like the juice ad describes—fresh and energetic, flaunting an enviable youth. She can always decide what to do in one second, without any pattern or plan. So when she swallowed the eighth strawberry on the sofa, she snapped her fingers and pulled me up: "Let's go! I'll buy you a new outfit! Look, you don't even buy a new outfit, and you're still considered a petite bourgeoisie!" "
She always likes to call me petite bourgeoisie, but honestly, I find it a bit off-putting. I can't quite explain why."
Then she started changing clothes like a flea, hopping from one side to another, washing her face and combing her hair, choosing and matching pretty shoes, enjoying herself immensely. I think I couldn't help but laugh along with her. She said, "I want to buy you a super cool sportswear," and seeing me roll her eyes wildly, she tried to please me, "Hey, be good! How can you always wear a suit? Hurry up, change clothes and go out!" So, under her tug, I smiled wryly and followed. Looking at Xiaoman jumping on the street, smelling the milk tea-like scent wafting from her body, I wanted to hold her in my arms and seriously consider whether I could face this for a lifetime.I reached out my right hand, I was about to do it. But I stopped when I saw Xia'ou coming from across. Xia'ou seemed to see me, and Xiaoman next to me, and she smiled lightly at me.
Xia'ou stood in the sunlight, wearing a pink small camisole and a white long skirt, with a serene smile, as beautiful as when I first saw her at the school gate three years ago. Her snow-white skin exuded a kind of rosy glow, so peaceful and familiar, pouring into this early summer morning. It made one mistake her for a fairy appearing faintly in the sunlight.
The girlfriend beside me is a mortal.
The fairy smiled lightly at me, and I really didn't want to linger in the mortal world.