A lame joke, click in if you want to see it.

1. The principal and the English teacher visited a certain middle school in France. The principal spoke in the auditorium, and the English teacher acted as the translator.
Principal: “Teachers and students!”
English teacher: “Ladies and.. gentlemen!”
Principal: “Ladies and gentlemen!”
English teacher -_‑! Thought for a while and said: “Good morning!”
Principal: “Good morning!”
English teacher: … ==" sweat

2. There was a polar bear. Because the snow was too blinding, it had to wear sunglasses to see things, but it couldn't find sunglasses, so it crawled around on the ground with its eyes closed to look for them. Crawling and crawling, its hands and feet got all dirty before finding the sunglasses. After putting on the sunglasses and looking in the mirror, it finally realized: Oh, I am actually a panda.

3. A polar bear was lonely, sitting on the ice daydreaming. Bored, it started pulling out its own fur for fun, one by one, then two, three, until there was no fur left, and then it froze to death.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day the cornfield caught fire, and all the corn turned into popcorn!!! The little bird flew over and thought it was snowing, and then froze to death.

5. Xiao Ming got a new haircut. The next day, when he came to school, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: “Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite!” Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside to cry. While crying, he started flying.

6. A spider fell in love with a butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. The spider asked: “Why? Why!” The butterfly said: “My mom said, anyone who hangs out online all day is not a good person.”

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana in front suddenly felt very hot and said, “It's so hot, I need to take off my clothes.” So he peeled off his skin. As a result, the banana behind fell down. Then the peeled banana turned into a dried banana.

8. One day, three explorers finally found the “Valley of Hope.” According to legend, as long as you stand at the edge of the valley, shout for the thing you want in your heart, and then jump into the valley, you will get all the things you want. So the three decided to give it a try.
The first one was a pervert, so he shouted, “Women! Women!”"Sure enough, a beautiful woman full of craters and valleys was waiting for him. The second was a bookworm, shouting, "Shushu!" Then, he jumped into the valley and got books full of pits. The third was an indecisive person, unable to decide on his favorite after much thought. After an hour, he finally made up his mind and thought money was the most useful, so he walked toward the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a rock and cursed, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, he lost his balance and fell into the valley. 9. Xiaoming has an exam tomorrow, but he's watching TV at night. Xiaoming's mom worriedly asks: Have you finished reading? There's an exam tomorrow! Xiaoming cheerfully replied, "Mom, I've finished reading." Xiaoming's mom happily praised him: "Good girl, you'll definitely do well tomorrow." Xiaoming cried and said, "Mom, I mean, 'Mom, I think it's over.'" 10. The panda deeply loves Xiaolu, but when he expresses his affection, he is rejected. The panda roars~ Why? Why is all this happening? Xiaolu timidly says: My mom said anyone wearing sunglasses is a delinquent. 11. One day, Xiaoming was walking down the street! As he walked, he suddenly felt his feet sore! Why did this happen? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon!
12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? Thong (cool)
Jin says to "Bi": Son. If you put on a PhD's hat, your value will be a hundredfold.
"Chi" says to "Jin": Sister, it turns out you're pregnant—twins! "Chen" says to "Ju": Same area as you. But I have three bedrooms and two living rooms.
13. One day, a university teacher asked a student: There are ten birds in the tree. If you shoot one, how many remain?
The student asks: Is it a silent pistol? If not, how loud is the gunfire? 80-100 decibels. Is it illegal to hunt birds in this city? No. Are you sure that bird was really killed? Sure. At this point, the teacher was already impatient: "Just tell me how many birds are left, OK?" Are there any deaf people among the birds in the trees? No. Are there any birds trapped in cages hanging on the trees? No. Are there other trees nearby, and are there other birds on the trees? No. If there are birds, does it count as the little birds in their belly? No. Do the bird hunters have eyes on their eyes? If not, then ten.The teacher was already sweating profusely, and the class bell rang, but the students continued asking: Are there any birds stupid enough not to fear death? Every bird fears death. Could one bullet kill two birds? No. The students confidently said: If your answer is honest, 'If a bird that is shot dead hangs on the tree without falling, then one will remain; if it falls, then none will remain.' The teacher immediately foamed at the mouth and collapsed on the ground!\ 14. One day, someone passed a crossroads and saw something incredibly terrifying—they discovered Kakashi and Sun Wukong laughing!\ 15. A long, long time ago, one night, there were three shrimps in a pond, hahaha, a female ghost farted and died.\ 16. A female alien conducting biological research came to Earth, and after a tour, she thought human genes had many aspects worth referencing, so she caught a man, intending to take him along with textual materials on human genes back with her. But the spaceship was too small to take him, and the materials were too large to take all at once. In her anxiety, the spaceship's computer help system said: 'This person just has a tiny stick which can solve all your problems…' Only then did she suddenly understand, smiling with saliva, she said to the man: '...Give me the USB drive!'\ 17. A kid was crossing the street and accidentally got run over and flattened by a truck. As he was dying, he looked at his body and said: 'So I'm filled with red bean paste, not meat.'\ 18. Big brother, stop touching! You touch the top, then the bottom, and you've rubbed all the fuzz off. This tender skin, you've made it soggy! How can I sell it after this? These peaches are all fresh, it's fine if you don't buy!\ 19. Once upon a time, there was a little sheep. One day he went out to play and ran into a big grey wolf. The big grey wolf said: 'I'm going to eat you!!!' The little sheep was terrified! Guess what happened? In the end, the big grey wolf ate the little sheep.\ 20. Once upon a time, there was a swordsman. He was cold in person, cold in heart, cold in sword, and eventually froze to death.\ 21. Once upon a time, there was a tiger chasing a deer on the road! The deer was terrified and ran faster and faster, eventually turning into a highway.\ 22. There was a tomato, which tripped over a stone and got smashed, then another tomato fell and got smashed, and another tomato fell and fell and fell countless times until finally the last tomato also fell. Ah yea! Tomato sauce yeah!23. A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a landmine during combat? The commander was very annoyed: Damn, what else can you do? If you break it, pay for it at its value.

24. One day, three little pigs built three houses to hide from the big bad wolf. The wolf easily blew down the straw house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran desperately, but they were still caught by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said in despair, 'Do whatever you want. We give up. It's up to you.' At this moment, the big bad wolf grinned mischievously, drooling, and said: 'Then quickly tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is.'

25. An elephant pooped in the middle of the road. An ant happened to pass by, looked up at the mist-covered peaks, and couldn't help singing: 'Ya la suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!'

26. If you are near the railway needing to defecate but have no toilet paper, don't worry, the train will remind you: 'Pants wipe, pants wipe, pants-pants wipe!' If you are by the river and have no toilet paper, don't worry, the frog will tell you: 'Stick scrape, stick scrape, stick-stick scrape!'

27. Two counterfeiters accidentally made 15-yuan fake bills. They decided to spend them in a remote mountainous area. When they used one 15-yuan bill to buy a 1-yuan candied haw, they cried. The farmer gave them two 7-yuan bills.

28. Someone got a newly installed phone that used to be a cinema's, so people often called asking about the movies being shown. At first, he politely explained that this phone no longer belonged to the cinema, it's his now, and asked not to call again. Over time, he grew annoyed, so he would simply say: 'You have the wrong number!' to save words. One day, the familiar voice asked again: 'May I ask what movie is showing now?' He said as usual: 'You have the wrong number!' After a pause, the caller said: 'Is it a domestic film or a foreign film?'

29. A person climbed over the school wall and was caught by the principal. The principal asked: 'Why didn't you use the school gate?' He replied: 'Metersbonwe, I don't follow the usual path.' The principal asked again: 'How did you get over such a high wall?' He pointed to his pants and said: 'Li Ning, everything is possible.'

The principal asked again: 'What does it feel like to climb over the wall?' He pointed to his shoes and said: 'Xtep, it feels like flying.' The next day, he entered the school through the front gate. The principal asked: 'Why didn't you climb over the wall?' He said: 'Anta, I choose, I like it.' On the third day, he wore a hooligan outfit. The principal said: 'You can't wear a hooligan outfit!' He said: 'Whatever I wear is what it is, Semma Clothing.'Day 4, he went to school wearing a vest. The principal said he couldn't wear a vest to school. He said, men, keep it simple, love Dengebao clothing. The principal said he would record a major demerit. He asked: Why? The principal said: This is my territory, I make the rules.\ Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4000 yuan from me, saying he wanted to have plastic surgery. Now I have no idea what he looks like, oh 4000 yuan.\ Robbers' Notice: Staff only understand Spanish. Please be patient when robbing, and ideally bring a translator. Thank you!\ Are you blind? Such a big shield and you can't see it, yet you insist on throwing stones at my head!\ I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, a hundred milliliters of lard actually came out.\ Tourist: Master, is that grass hut over there a toilet? Monk: Other than that grass hut, all other places are toilets.\ Hair disappears without a trace, but dandruff stands out even more!\ Feces and urine are good brothers. One day, feces got hit by a car while crossing the road and died. Urine said: I really miss feces...\ Yesterday I signed up for a weight-loss training class. They want me to wear loose clothes during training. How ridiculous is that? If I had loose clothes, why would I have signed up?\ My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months. I never get a chance to interrupt her.\ Thief A: Count how much we robbed today? Thief B: No need, just check the newspaper tomorrow.\ Stand higher, pee farther\ Go your own way, let others take a taxi.\ Wear someone else's shoes, walk your own road, let them deal with it.\ Late one night, a young woman was passing by a mental hospital when suddenly she heard a 'wow' from behind. She turned around and saw a naked man chasing her. Terrified, she ran, but the man kept following. Oh no, a dead-end ahead. Desperate, she knelt on the ground, crying and begging: 'Do whatever you want, just don't kill me.' The man smiled slyly and said: 'Really? Then now you start chasing me.'\ At a cultural evening, the host went on stage to announce: Now please enjoy: Xinjiang Song and Dance, lift your skull! The entire audience was silent, hair-raising!!!Brr~~~\ 45. A tiger doesn't act like a cat, don't think I'm close to death!\ 46. Someone in our dorm drank too much and went to pee, then said a cold remark: If you drink a lot of pee, you'll feel especially drunk.\ 47. Went shoe shopping with my sister at Li-Ning, and she opened her mouth saying: 'Miss, how much is this per pound?'\ 48. When others used to visit my aunt's house, just as they entered, my aunt would need to go to the bathroom. She hurriedly greeted the guests: 'Please have a seat, I'll go to the bathroom and pour you some tea!'\ 49. In college, a classmate argued with me, and being momentarily at a disadvantage, he slammed the table in a panic and shouted: 'You're talking nonsense, I'm not stupid! I spit a mouthful of dog poop at you.'\ 50. When I was young, ice pops and ice creams were usually sold by pushing a bicycle. Once, I heard an aunt inside the house shout: 'Fresh ice cream, hot!' (Probably the aunt used to sell fried dough sticks and cakes)