Essence I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

When I was very young, I liked to play with my hair, and when I did, I would spend half an hour on it; maybe calling it "vain" is more accurate.\When I started junior high, at the age when feelings begin to blossom, I always liked to dress up handsomely, and then tease the girls when there was nothing to do. Swinging my little bangs, I felt pretty cool.\After graduation, my grades were not good, I didn't get into high school, and I had to pay 7500 out of pocket. Last year, I bought a watch! I'm not going to continue studying. Actually, there are two reasons for not continuing: first, my parents work hard to earn money; second, even if I went, I would just slack off. I've been slacking since the second year of junior high, all the way to graduation, and even in high school I would slack off, so it's better not to go!\Boring time is hard to endure. I didn't want to go out to find a job, I don't know anything, every day I wake up at 10, eat at 11, then play with my phone, watch TV when bored, then eat, then sleep, spending four months in a daze.\One day, my mom asked me if I still wanted to learn hairdressing. I said I did! (I had mentioned learning hairdressing to my parents before, but they never agreed, so we were at an impasse.) So she sent me to a hairdressing school. The school was quite far from home, my first time away from home, and I had to figure out a lot of things on my own: renting a place, buying all kinds of things, bargaining with people, thinking about how to spend money.\When your parents are around, even small things don't need your concern. When they're not, you're too lazy to even make a bowl of noodles. It turns out, without parents, I am nothing; maybe I'm just a useless insect.\Spending money is easy, earning it is hard. I never took this seriously before, but now I understand. When you stay overnight at an internet café, what are your parents doing? Maybe still working overtime. When you eat extravagantly, what are your parents doing? Maybe just eating a steamed bun with some pickles to get by. When you buy branded clothes or a branded phone, what are your parents doing? Maybe you'll never know.\Parents' love is selfless, and we are selfish. Parents constantly think about us and want to give us the best, while we only think about them when we lack money.\"Hey! Mom!"\"Hey, son, what's up?"\"Nothing, school bought this and bought that, I need money, can you transfer 500 to me?"\"Huh? Why so much?"\"Just transfer it, stop dragging it out!"\"Okay, mom will send it to you tomorrow, don't spend it recklessly!"\"Send it today! I don't have money to eat!""Mom will transfer it to you in a while." Reading this conversation, how do you feel? Can you honestly say you've never complained about your parents being slow? In fact, unconsciously, we have already hurt our parents' hearts. She doesn't speak up; it's buried deep in her heart. She is a mother, and because of her tolerance, she has spoiled you. Next time you ask for money, first put yourself in the right position. Remember! She doesn't owe you. Fathers show love differently; he's not good with words. He always goes out early and comes back late, and every time he returns, he is exhausted. Every time my father comes back, I always greet him first: 'Dad! You're back!' Perhaps this greeting can relieve some of his deep fatigue. Actually, you should understand a father's love even if he doesn't say it.

I've been in the hairdressing industry for nearly half a year, and there's only one month until graduation. Where should I go after graduation? At first, it was just a hobby, but now it's not only a hobby, it's also a responsibility. I've spent nearly 20,000 yuan so far, and it's time for my efforts to pay off.

When I want to give up, I remember something a classmate said to me: 'He's human, and I'm human. He has one nose and two eyes, and so do I. Why should he have more money than me? Don't give up; at least we're still alive.'

Rural children work hard their whole lives for what urban children are born with, so I am striving.

I'm 17 today. At this age, I should be a first-year high school student, enjoying an easy daily life, but I chose another path. It must be said, this path is exhausting. The pressure of life suffocates me, yet I don't regret it. I am doing what I want to do. After all, I am still young. I don't know what working in a store after graduation will be like, I don't know what heights I can reach in the future, and I don't know how long I can persist on this path.

Actually, it's good to take risks while young. You gain not just experience, but mindset too. Today you lose 100 yuan and feel frustrated, while someone else might lose 100 yuan without worrying. Why? Because the mindset is different. Money is lost; getting upset won't change it. It's better to let it go and not let 100 yuan affect your entire day's mood.

Recorded on 2013/08/02
Friday
19:09