[Emotional Story] An Extraordinary Sibling Romance ④ (Repost)

Hearing my mother say this, I felt very strange. Several times I wanted to ask her if it would be okay if I married, but I really didn't have the courage to ask.\ At times like this, people like to do extreme things. I really hoped for a miracle between my sister and me. So I wanted to find some evidence to prove that my sister and I were not biologically related.\ But such efforts were obviously in vain; our blood relationship is an undeniable fact.\ Once, I asked my mother: A friend of mine is in love with his cousin. Now they are very distressed and don't know what to do. Do you think they will have a future together?\ My mother didn't even think before answering: Of course not! The law states that close relatives cannot marry. What friend are you talking about? Go try to advise him. You are still young, you haven't met many people yet, and mistakes are easy to make! If you regret it later, it'll be too late!\ My mother's words gave me a sense of despair. I wanted to end this fruitless relationship with my sister before our parents found out, so as not to hurt the adults. But whenever I faced my sister, I couldn't say a word. I really love her, and she loves me too. But why is it that we cannot be together?\ And so, my sister and I continued in this state until the last winter vacation before we graduated from college. We could both feel each other's pain. My sister insisted on explaining things to the adults, but I didn't dare.\ Ultimately, paper cannot wrap fire—our parents finally sensed something. To this day, I don't know exactly how much they knew, but they did know. They called us to talk. Although they didn't say it very clearly, we already understood the meaning—they were all opposed, firmly opposed. Even though I had been mentally prepared, when that moment actually came, it felt like my heart had stopped beating. My sister cried intensely and refused to speak to my parents, aunt, and uncle. The family went through the most painful New Year. I knew the sorrow wasn't just ours, but also our parents'.\ Seeing our parents, at such an age, worried for us, unable to eat or enjoy tea or food, I truly felt guilty toward them. I realized I could not let the happiness of just the two of us cause suffering for the whole family. After thinking for several days, I talked to my parents and my aunt, and I decided completely to separate from my sister.Actually, my parents and aunt never really scolded us harshly from beginning to end; they just reasoned with us. Seeing that I had come to terms with things, they were very happy.
I found my younger sister and told her my decision. She didn't speak or cry, she just stared at me intently. I knew she must hate me, hate that I didn't stand by her at the most critical moment. I told her that from now on, we could only be brother and sister, and that we should forget all the past! To make my sister completely give up hope, I burned our photos in front of her, the gifts she had given me, and even the 12-page letter she had written to me. During the whole process, my sister didn't cry, but I could feel that her heart had broken. Actually, maybe she didn't know that my own heart hadn't moved since then.
From that point on, my sister stopped talking to me. I knew she hated me, and perhaps only time could heal her wounds. After graduating from university, my sister went home to work. I, wanting to avoid awkward encounters, went to work in Guangzhou alone. I stayed for two years, and during those two years I didn't go home once. Even during New Year and holidays, when everyone else was reunited with their families, I spent them alone.
After arriving in Guangzhou, I started looking for a girlfriend, but in the end, I was just looking for a replacement for my sister. In two years, I had seven girlfriends, but none lasted more than three months. Most of the time, I was drawn to them because they had a little resemblance to my sister.
That New Year! I called home, and my mother told me that my sister had found a boyfriend, a former high school classmate of ours. Hearing this news, I didn't know if I should feel happy or sad.
A few days before I posted this message, I met my sister online; this was the first time we had chatted like this in two years since we parted. It felt both familiar and strange.
My sister asked how I was doing, and I said, "Okay." It took her a long time to reply. I knew she was going through complex emotions, just like I was. At that time, every word I typed was difficult, and even though I had thousands of things I wanted to say to my sister, I couldn't get a single sentence out.
She said: "I'm with xx now."
I said: "I know. Mom told me."
She said: "We might get married next year. Will you come back?"
I felt like my heart was bleeding. After a long time, I was able to type a few words: "I'm not sure. If I have time, maybe."Then came a long wait. My younger sister did not respond to me for a long time, but finally, I saw her QQ avatar move. I clicked on it and saw a few words that brought tears to my eyes — 'The groom should have been you.' There is a secret that my sister may never know in her lifetime! Before burning the letter she gave me, I had copied it word for word and will cherish it carefully for my whole life.