The day N8 was released in China has been here for a while, and I finally saved enough money to buy this long-awaited phone. Holding the phone in my hands, tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. You have to know that I am just a dishwasher earning less than 1,000 yuan a month. To buy the N8, I have been eating steamed buns and drinking plain water for half a year and sleeping under overpasses for six months just to save enough money for it. Because in my everyday life I am looked down upon and have endured so much humiliation, finally the moment to rise above it all has come. After taking it home, to show off the powerful flash function, I deliberately held the N8 high at night in the dim light, pouted my lips at a 45-degree angle, and shouted: 'Happiness~~~'\
'Click!' A 12-megapixel photo perfectly captured my recent cool pose, and the xenon flash effect even covered all the pimples on my face. Everyone must be wondering why I don't say 'cheese' when taking a photo. It's because I have always felt that words like 'eggplant' or 'cucumber' are for women. As someone who follows a non-mainstream style, of course I cannot say that.\
A good phone needs to be shown off in a crowded, upscale setting to satisfy my vanity to the fullest. I chose a high-end restaurant I had never been to before: KFC. You might wonder why I chose KFC instead of McDonald's. It's because I heard that Colonel Sanders' fries are softer than Uncle McDonald's fries, and I happen to prefer soft over hard food. So this choice might have something to do with my personality.\
Early in the morning, I went to take a shower. Months of living under overpasses had left me with a layer of 'fat' one centimeter thick. Watching the black grime being scrubbed off with effort, I felt a twinge of sadness. I didn't wash my hair because after months without washing, just running my hands through it can turn it into a trendy hairstyle. If I washed it, I wouldn't have money for mousse, let alone luxurious gel to fix my hair, so this is the only way I could style my hair. Looking at my hair standing upright like a superhero's in the mirror, I smiled with satisfaction. Next came the nose ring. I polished my nose ring with a sharpening cloth I had secretly taken from the restaurant until it shone brightly. Although wearing a nose ring makes picking my nose a bit difficult, maintaining my 'non-mainstream' style makes such a small difficulty nothing at all.Finally, it was time for the outfit. The night before, I had bought a set of non-mainstream clothes from a second-hand street stall for 50 yuan, after quite a bit of haggling. The seller initially asked for 80 yuan, but I wore him down with my persistent negotiation until he had no choice but to sell it to me as if to a beggar. I may not have money, but I have time. The street vendor may have money, but he didn't have time to argue with me. The advantage of being a dishwasher truly shows when it comes to bargaining. I put on my new clothes and looked at my tall and handsome reflection in the mirror, feeling a twinge of bittersweetness in my heart again.\
Everything was ready. I strolled to the KFC entrance, thinking about stepping into a high-end place I usually couldn't imagine going into, and I began to feel inexplicably nervous. Someone once said: the KFC door is a dividing line; inside are the rich, and outside are the poor. I adjusted my mood and said to myself, ‘KFC, here I come!' and pushed open the door that separates the rich from the poor.\
“Hello, sir! What would you like to order?” The sweet voice of the uniformed female server made me slightly stiffen, and her standard business etiquette made me involuntarily imagine her face when I'd taken off her uniform and messed with her in bed.\
“Just a bowl of egg noodles and some fries. I've been eating too much bird's nest and shark fin lately, so I want something lighter,” I said, pinching my throat and frowning slightly, signaling that I had once been choked by shark fin during a fancy meal.\
“Sorry, sir, we don't have egg noodles. We do have fries; please see the menu above.” The server pointed upwards.\
Following her direction, I looked at the menu and panicked when I saw the prices. Everything was over 10 yuan, and a combo meal was tens of yuan. I instinctively touched the 5 yuan left in my anti-theft underwear—this was my money for buying buns tomorrow. What should I do?! No, I need to stay calm. Just as I was at a loss, someone nearby said, 'I'll have medium fries.' Hearing this, I quickly imitated him, ‘I'll have the same.'\
“Okay.” The server responded sweetly, then turned and handed me the fries: “Sir, here are your fries, 5.5 yuan in total, thank you.”\
What!?This price was far beyond my expectations. At this moment, I didn't have enough money—where would I find an extra fifty cents? Don't panic, don't panic! I took a deep breath and reminded myself to stay calm in such a high-end setting, making sure no one discovers that I'm just a dishwasher.
At that moment, I suddenly saw a sleazy-looking guy hiding in a corner, holding his iPhone and watching porn. This won't do! How can such an elegant restaurant allow such immoral behavior? Even if others are too timid to act, I'll uphold justice myself!
I whispered to the waiter, 'Forget about the fries for now. There's something more important I need to handle. Just watch and don't make a sound, don't alert him.'
While the waiter was trying to understand what I meant, I was already behind the guy and slapped him sharply.
'Bam!' A crisp sound rang out! Everyone stopped eating and instinctively focused on me. I finally understood the feeling of being the center of attention!
'You~~you~~you~~why did you hit me!?' The sleazy guy, holding his reddened face, demanded after being slapped.
'Why!? You still have the nerve to ask why!?' I, still unsatisfied, slapped him again!
'You~~you~~you~~you savage! Wait until my lawyer sees you!' The sleazy guy tried to defend himself with the law. Unfortunately for him, he miscalculated. The shoe-less have nothing to fear from those wearing shoes. How could I, a dishwasher making less than a thousand a month, be afraid of these refined things? No money, just life!
I smiled faintly, casually pulled a pack of cigarettes from my pocket. The emperor-like golden packaging radiated the aura of a king. Yes! It was Furongwang! The atmosphere in the entire KFC suddenly grew tense. Even in such a high-end KFC, it's rare to see Furongwang cigarettes. The white-collar being hit was completely at a loss, terror, jealousy, inferiority, despair, self-denial of his own status all showing on his face! At that moment he finally realized, if he really tried to sue me, he would essentially be going against the Furongwang conglomerate—a going against the people, inevitably leading to ruin.Brother took out a match again and elegantly lit the cigarette. A harsh, low-quality tobacco smell irritated his throat because Brother couldn't afford Furongwang; the pack was picked up by Brother from a trash can outside the hotel. At this moment, only Brother knew the cigarette in his hand was a 2-yuan-a-pack Lovebird brand. Due to the distance, only Brother could see the brand name on the cigarette butt.
"At such a high-class occasion, you're watching Japanese adult films on your phone? Don't you know what shame is?!" Brother asked sternly.
"Th-this... this is an iPhone that a friend brought back from abroad for me; it symbolizes white-collar status," the sleazy man tried to evade Brother's words.
"Abroad!?" Hearing this, Brother was furious! Turns out he was a pretentious little white-collar, a descendant of the great China, yet so obsessed with foreign things! He's not ashamed, but proud! Brother lifted his leg and kicked the white-collar in the face, sending his gold-rimmed glasses flying. When Brother landed the first kick, he instinctively wanted to continue with a combo, but he restrained himself because the angle of the kick had been too extreme, and he clearly felt a small tear forming in the crotch of his low-quality skinny jeans. Another kick would not only be embarrassing but would also ruin the pants, which is a drawback Brother endures in pursuit of a perfect body shape.
"How dare you show off that lowly iPhone! Watch this." Brother slowly pulled out an N8 from his anti-theft underwear.
"N-N-N8!?" The white-collar was shocked: "This legendary top-tier Nokia model!?"
"Hmph! You've got taste! Let me show you the power of Nokia." Brother looked around and shouted loudly: "Nokia comrades, stop hiding, reveal yourselves!"
In an instant, the people around raised their phones and stood up… N97, N86, N82, E66, E72, E52, X6, 5800, 6720, and more appeared, making eyes dazzle with all the models.
Brother smiled and pressed down with his hand, signaling that it was enough. After all, wealth must not be flaunted; if a thief saw this, it would be troublesome while squeezing into a bus later.
"See? This is the strength of our Nokia!" Brother squatted down, earnestly mentoring the white-collar: "Now, you know what to do."
"Yes! Yes! Yes! I understand! I'll throw away the iPhone and switch to Nokia right now.""The little white-collar worker nodded incessantly like pounding garlic: 'May I ask your honorable name, brother?'\ 'Forget it. I've been in the jianghu (martial world) for a long time and deeply understand the rule of not revealing one's name casually. Just call me Prince N8.' The brother immediately stood up, forcefully lowered his head, and then whipped it upward with strength, preparing to turn and leave.\ 'Hey! Your fries!' The waiter saw him about to leave and hurriedly called out, afraid the brother would just walk away.\ Hearing the waiter's shout, the brother's body trembled, and his anus tightened! He turned his head, gently wiped off the dandruff that had fallen on his shoulder from the head whip, pointed at the waiter's nose, and smiled elegantly: 'They're your fries.' After saying that, fearing she might ask him to pay for the fries, he quickly slipped away, hiding his merit and fame amidst the thunderous applause of the surrounding crowd…\ Leaving the waiter blushing and looking down, counting the fries one by one:\ Tomorrow the brother will come…\ Tomorrow the brother won't come…\ Tomorrow the brother will come…\ Tomorrow the brother won't come…\ ……………………\ ………………\ …………\ ……
