[Joke, Issue 3]

1. Once while waiting for the bus, a BMW drove by, and a knowledgeable person beside him said to those around him, 'Look, that just drove by is an IBM.' 2. A friend of mine was interning at China Unicom. One day, an old man came up and blurted out, 'Give me a China Mobile SIM card, okay?' My friend, without looking up, said, 'Master, someone is here to cause trouble!' 3. A colleague went to meet a client and, perhaps due to nerves, started with, 'Hello Mr. Liu, may I ask your surname?' Awkward. 4. My old geography teacher was a man who was very violent. Whoever spoke out of turn or daydreamed would get punched, except for girls. A new female student didn't know this and thought there was gender equality. Once, she was secretly reading a comic during class, and the geography teacher found out. He walked up to her without any sign, and the girl, terrified, turned pale and exclaimed, 'Harassment!' Our geography teacher was sweating buckets. 5. A classmate said, 'I put too much laundry detergent.' Another asked, 'What? Your brother's wife is too much?' 6. One day it was very windy, and a row of bicycles fell over. One classmate was holding hers up and said, 'Whose Mercedes ran over my BMW?' 7. I once called my boyfriend's dorm, but he didn't answer. I felt a bit embarrassed, so I made up a name and said, 'Is XX there?' to pretend I dialed the wrong person. The other side hesitated and said, 'Wait a moment, I'll call him.' I was so confused! I quickly hung up in fright. Later, I asked my boyfriend, and he said a guy in the dorm across from them actually had the name I made up. 8. Last time abroad, I saw a handsome guy selling pastries on the street. While buying, my friend and I were saying he looked like Elvis. He overheard us and asked what we were saying. I thought for a while and said, 'kingofmiaomiao (meow meow).' 9. A dorm girlfriend was chatting with an online friend, and he clearly got excited: 'Hello, I'm Wang Xiaoliang, guess who I am?' Completely flabbergasted… 10. I learned a phrase from a friend: 'Ten words for you—The further away, the fucking better.' I remember the first time he told it to our group; everyone was counting on their fingers to see if it really was ten words. What's cooler is that when I say this phrase to several friends, over 90% of them hesitate for a moment, silently reciting it or moving their fingers slightly, then smile and say, 'Wow, it really is ten words.' It never fails, hehe! (So cold, it's winter now, so annoying....) One day, Eggplant was walking on the street and suddenly sneezed a big sneeze. It wiped its nose and angrily said: "Damn it! Someone took a group photo again!" There were 30 frogs in a pond, but only one was wearing underwear. Why? (Because he is a bath scrubbing frog!) There was a pig, it walked and walked, and reached England. What did it become? ---- Pig. In class, the teacher randomly checked who could recite the text. The little pig, little dog, and little cat all raised their hands. Who would the teacher call? -- The little dog, because of the Wang Wang senbei. Butterfly, ant, spider, centipede, they all worked together. In the end, who didn't get paid? -- Centipede, because no work, no pay. In the zoo, the elephant has the longest nose, who has the second longest? -- The baby elephant. Which fruit has the worst vision? -- Mango. Which two fruits have mobile phones? -- Carrot and green vegetable, each has a Sony Ericsson. If there is a car, the driver is a prince, the passenger is a princess, whose car is it? -- It's If's. Metal, wood, water, fire, earth, whose legs are the longest? ---- Sausage (ham). A cobra and an elephant went on a date. After some small talk, it said: "Come on, come on, why hold such a big-headed pig, you're too polite." I think if I just have a little more modesty, I would be a perfect person. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying and crying and crying and crying... and as a result... he sprouted.~~~ Two jellyfish collided at the beach. Jellyfish A: "What are you doing! Don't you see when you swim?" Jellyfish B: "What are eyes?" Jellyfish A: "I don't know either, last time I collided with someone, they scolded me this way." Jellyfish B: "Oh! I see!" In elementary school science class, the teacher told us that lightly tapping the knee would cause a knee-jerk reflex. When I went home, I took a hammer and tapped my dad's knee, and as a result, my dad stood up and kicked me. This proves the teacher was right! If one day I become a hooligan, please remember to tell me that I was once innocent.