Only now do I understand that I love Xiao Nie the most.
People always feel pity after losing something, and then regret why they didn't try their best in the first place. I am the kind of person who is not optimistic about anything. Intercourse and ending are dull, and I even break up with just one sentence. However, I was finally reduced to crying with all my strength.
Xiao Nie and I stood under the city sky, with a steady stream of vehicles passing by. I have been paying attention to her for a long time. She always waits for a red light and then crosses it quickly. We seem to have known each other for a long time, and we look at each other with sadness and dependence in our eyes. I would often stop and accompany her, even though we still didn't know each other.
People in the city are all strangers to each other, but they are looking forward to meeting each other. I once asked a netizen I had been chatting with for a long time. All it takes is a phone call and a location. We can see each other, so why not? She told me that there is a feeling that can only be felt when we have not met. Once it penetrates, it will seem meaningless. So I was always just waiting for Xiao Nie.
As the days passed, the work gradually became a bit sluggish. I planned to take a good rest after get off work, but the old ghost called me for the first time. This must have been a long time ago.
"Yudong, I have to leave." The old ghost took a sip of wine. "Will you miss me?" I nodded numbly.
\"Belgium is really cold. Remember to send me some cartons of cigarettes when you have time."
\"Is it a camel?"
\"Yes, the kind of camel we both love to smoke."
"The separation was based on a three-year relationship, and I actually forgot how to be sad. We just sat calmly. They talked about fun stories, lost relationships, past embarrassments, greetings and curses with slightly dirty words. This is our next chat after a long time. Time slowly passed one o'clock and then two o'clock. I really hope to have endless years that last forever.
"Yudong. Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asked.
I thought for a while, "Then, let's run again."
"Haha. Is that okay? Look at my belly." He stroked it.
At nine o'clock in the evening, we stood at the intersection of the bar. "Start running. Keep running until you are exhausted." I started running, sometimes speeding up and sometimes slowing down. It felt like I was performing under a red curtain. A huge flashing light enveloped me, admiring my messy dance steps. Looking back at the old ghost, he and I were always at a close distance, smiling. In fact, the old ghost wanted me to take him into my own forest.
It's wonderful tonight. I no longer paid attention to the bustling and noisy noise. All this was cast with a touch of sadness. My legs and feet gradually stopped struggling, and I stopped at the traffic light intersection. Gasping for air. The old ghost patted my shoulder easily, "Yudong, you are still so calm." I have the right to feel sad, because I know that the old ghost's smile will never be seen clearly again. Suddenly, she found Xiao Nie standing at the traffic light. She lowered her head and was thinking about something. I watched the old ghost walk away step by step, and then stopped twenty meters away, "You must learn to be happy. East Yu." But all I could do was look at Xiao Nie, then turn around and walk away.
I asked that netizen again, will the distance between people dilute with the years and years between us? Will there ever be a day when two people who are so close to each other are completely relieved? She said to me, "Yudong, you should go online."
\"Why."
\"There is a kind of pleasure that is separated from reality in the vast and empty Internet. I can accompany you at any time." She said.
Going online at twenty-three o'clock, falling into a state of not thinking. Usually she would go to the chat room under a different name, and I looked at the jumping text and guessed which name was behind her. When the familiar smell comes, start a conversation with the name behind the screen.
I knew from time to time that she was a girl who was temporarily unemployed. She was stuck at home killing time and hesitating about her next job.
"What are you going to do?" I asked curiously.
"That's the kindergarten teacher. Let the innocence fly with the children."
This picture suddenly flashed in my mind. She stood among the children, showing off her joy like an angel, while I hid at one end. Then we saw each other. The sky slowly cleared.
"Hey. Yudong. Are you running away?"
I stroked the white monitor and touched her name, the email from the old ghost. The sky gradually became brighter, and what awaited me was the illogical work that I had to continue. The pressure turned black, and I was completely disoriented.
The old ghost made two more phone calls. "Yudong, I will leave tomorrow. Can you see me off at the airport?" I agreed. Then go online. Enter the chat room, find her, and keep talking. It's strange why I had the idea of being passive. At this moment, I am relying on a kind of comfort that no longer exists.
This time she sent the message first and fixed the name. Xiao Nie.
"I'm going to work." Xiao Nie said. "Very good." "Go to other cities and find another way of life. Fly like a migratory bird." "Aren't you coming to the chat room?" I asked.
"Yeah." Feeling her sigh. "Can you tell me how long you have been on the Internet?" "Thirty days. From the day I met you." Xiao Nie said. "Is there anyone else here you deserve to miss?" "You, and..." "Huh?" "With a strange man." "Stranger?" "He and I meet at the traffic lights every day and see each other. In fact, I really want to know him, but I'm afraid of losing that feeling of longing," she said.
I'm a little confused.
"Treat him. There is a kind of dependence and longing for strangers. Those acquaintances will always leave when it is not easy."
Chatted for a while. Randomly extended words.
\"Let's say goodbye now. Yudong."
\"Yeah."
\"Xiao Nie's name disappeared in the chat room in an instant, and I waited for three hours. Looking at the humorous banter of the men and women inside, the nonsensical conversation style unique to the Internet is permeated. I was sure that Xiao Nie would never appear again, so I turned off the computer.
"Hello. Yudong. Here it is." The old ghost carried large and small bags of luggage. "Do you feel a particularly heroic feeling, like a warrior going to the battlefield?" I smiled and hugged him, and then quietly shed tears on his shoulder.
"After eight years, when I'm doing well, I'll come back. Your email address and house number won't change, right?"
"Who knows. What will become of us after losing contact for eight years." I said indifferently.
"Haha. Goodbye. Yudong."
"Yes."
He turned around, and then quickly looked back. "I forgot to take something with me." "Huh?" I looked very sad.
"Take away my best friend."
Standing on the outdoor platform and watching the plane take off, I knew that there was nothing I could do to change anything. I am so small in the face of huge reality. Every stay has an end.
Standing at the traffic light intersection again, I really wanted to see that woman again. Wait until she walks directly in front of me.
"Hello. I'm Xiao Nie."
Then I realized that it was the same woman who was waiting for me in reality and virtuality.
"I want to get to know you." She said firmly. "Because I will leave, and you have been my dependence for this month. I need a farewell to end." I told her that I am Yudong. The real Henan.
We stood there smiling and spent ten traffic lights. Every time the traffic light went out and came on, she would look at it with slight anxiety. I am also silently counting down the coming end. It's all commonplace now, and I, a scarred man, am not afraid of being stabbed one more time.
"Give me one last hug. How about it?" she asked.
"Embrace?"
"From the first day I met you, I had the urge to hug you. "She threw herself into my arms. My once lonely heart suddenly felt an unprecedented sense of happiness. I reached out and hugged Xiao Nie tightly.
" I closed my eyes, as if I felt the old ghost standing twenty meters away and stopping again, blessing me for the last time that I must be happy forever. But the balance of happiness and sadness in my heart completely collapsed. I just kissed Xiao Nie, expecting that kind of happiness to be brief and infinite.
"Goodbye. East Henan. "
"Bye now. Xiao Nie. "
With her departure, all the tears that I could no longer bear flowed out. I really really cried. After Xiao Nie completed my last hug, our story ended sadly.
