The first time I proposed to Zhu Yan, he was only 18 years old.
She is Mrs. Dong's granddaughter, and she comes to her grandma's house to spend the summer vacation. My family lives next to the Dong family. I am the third eldest child in the family. My brothers would not take me with them when they went swimming. I chased me to the door and cried loudly. She heard it from the next door and came over and asked, "Brother, why are you crying?" After Zhu Yan understood, she took me there by herself. When she passed the popsicle stand, she bought me a red bean popsicle. I asked her why she was called Zhu Yan, and she told me: "The carved railings and jade structures are still there, but Zhu Yan has changed." She said it once, and I remembered it and will never forget it.
She took me there every day and bought me a popsicle every day. Therefore, I felt that she was the best in the world, so I told her: "Sister Zhu, when I grow up, I will marry you." She agreed, but immediately said: "When you are 18, I will be 36, older than your mother. Do you still want to marry me?"
It took me a night to finally answer: "Yes." I wanted to run out excitedly early in the morning, but my mother scolded me: "Who are we looking for? Sister Zhu has already gone to Beijing to study at university." Goodbye Zhu Yan, I am 14 years old, a shy boy, often wearing a pair of jeans that have been worn to a pale white, because I like the vicissitudes of life that I have not had. Zhu Yan had graduated from college that year and was working in other places. She came back this time because Mrs. Dong passed away and she went home to attend the funeral. When she saw me, she hugged me gently and said, "You've grown up." All the blood in my body rushed to my cheeks. I went to attend the funeral, and she smiled at me in a daze, as if she didn't see me. I stood next to her. When people were covering Mrs. Dong with a white cloth, I suddenly felt a weight on my shoulders. I turned my head and it was Zhu Yan who was crying on my shoulders. Through my clothes, I could clearly feel the weight of her tears. They should have been cold, but they were like burning candle oil. Each drop hit me, and it actually hurt. I wanted to wipe away her tears. For the first time, I felt so strongly the pride and strength of being a man and the weakness of her woman. I didn't see her for the next three or four years, and I gradually stopped thinking about her. College entrance examination, going to college, meeting a girlfriend, college life is colorful. I studied painting for a while, and I got interested in painting for my little girlfriend. After finishing the painting, she looked at it for a long time and said: "It's not me." She was not selfish, her navy blue skirt, her long flying hair, her smile made the ice cream melt soft and sweet...I was suddenly startled, this was indeed not her, this was Zhu Yan.
It was as if he suddenly understood the feelings of his young man. We had just met each other for the first time, but could it be that they were already separated forever? When I woke up in the middle of the night, I heard my own voice: "I'm not willing to give in." I spent half a book of stationery writing and tearing it up because I didn't know what to call her. In the end, I wrote "Zhu Yan" on my head with dignity and awe, along with my first and last name, like calling a close girl on campus. I am already 18 years old and can be considered an adult. I should be qualified to be on an equal footing with her.
However, I regretted it as soon as the letter was put into the mailbox. What reason did she have to remember me? But I still check my mailbox twice a day. The winter vacation came soon. It was snowing all day on New Year's Day and there were almost no people on the street, but I went to school in the snow. As soon as I saw the letter, my heart beat wildly. Besides Zhu Yan, who else can deserve such a charming word. She raised her head and said "little brother", which was kind and distant, as if she called me in her long-lost childhood. And she and I have actually known each other for a long time.
No matter how busy I am every day, I will write to her, not to ask for help, nor to ask her to solve my problems, but to tell her, as if speaking to myself, as if what is beating in her chest is my other heart. She also likes to flip through the pages of her letters, stationery, notes, information paper, and the back of scrap typing paper under the lamp. This is her randomness and her normal heart. But they are all the same, the "little brother" who raises his head, the words between the lines are calm and gentle, and he is considerate and considerate. Her delicate calligraphy, placed together with my thick handwriting, are completely different, but clearly closely connected.
That autumn, I decided to do a bold thing: go to Beijing to find Zhu Yan. It was Zhu Yan who opened the door, and I stretched out the red rose in my hand: "Happy birthday."She looked at me doubtfully, and suddenly took a deep breath: "Little brother! She only reached my shoulder level, looked at me carefully, and said for a long time: "It's true that the carved railings and jade bricks should still be there." "
But Zhu Yan has not changed, her smile is still the same, but there is more vicissitudes of life, which is the background of her beautiful appearance. Sitting in her dormitory, holding the ice water she poured for me, I suddenly felt that my heart, which had been disturbed for the past year, had settled down. I was 19 years old and Zhu Yan was 28 years old.
" She took me to visit. When I climbed Xiangshan Mountain, she asked me: "Are you okay?" "It's still uneasy for an adult to call a child. I smiled, said nothing, climbed up in three or two steps, and pulled her back. She looked surprised: "Little brother, you have really grown up. "Yes, it has grown enough to reach my shoulders. I stretched out my hands little by little, and finally hugged her gently. There was a huge earthquake in the car, and she slid into my arms. Her warm body was close to mine. When she was almost at the station, she woke up, looked up at me with a smile, and met my fearless eyes. She was startled, and her face slowly, slowly It started to burn slowly. At that moment, I clearly realized that she regarded me as a man. Time skipped, and the holiday was over in a blink of an eye. On the night before we left, I wanted to ask something important, but I didn't have the courage. Finally, I asked: "Zhu Yan, do you like me?" She said gently: "Who wouldn't like a boy as good as you?" "Ah, she finally told me that she likes me.
The next afternoon I got home, at the dinner table, my mother suddenly said: "Hey, you went to Beijing, why didn't you visit your sister Zhu? "I heard from Uncle Zhu that she is getting married..." I couldn't hear the following words.
Her door was half open, and she could be seen sitting by the window. There was a big, round moon that night, and her slightly sad face under the moonlight looked as if she had I have no way of knowing what she is thinking. Never again have I felt so strongly the gap in time between me and her. She is an adult, and I am still a child. Zhu Yan was surprised when she saw me: "Hey, you didn't go back? Or, here it comes again? I kept staring at her: "You are getting married, why didn't you tell me?" She was stunned for a moment, then smiled: "What's there to say?" "I suddenly said loudly: "But, but, you said you like me. "
Zhu Yan's face changed drastically, and she looked at me blankly. I knelt down in front of her knees: "Do you love that person? She shook her head slowly: "In this era, at this age, it is really ridiculous to say whether you love someone or not." "Since you don't love him, then give me time, give me 3 years. I will graduate in 3 years and I can marry you." My voice suddenly choked: ", I like you." Zhu Yan reluctantly opened her mouth, as if she wanted to smile, but suddenly tears poured down: "I always thought it was my illusion. It turns out that it is true. But, how can I have time for you? I am already 28, and I will be here in 3 years." I am 31 years old. How can I risk my happiness on the promise of a young man? "Brother, go back." I asked softly and desperately, "Have you ever really liked me?" She nodded: "Yes, I like you." I thought this was goodbye, studying, graduating, finding a job, licking my wounds little by little, and caring about the joy and sorrow of beauty thousands of miles away.
One day, on the bus, I saw a familiar figure from behind. I knew it was impossible, but I still blurted out: "Zhu Yan." She turned around and smiled quietly at me. What a beauty.
Four years have passed and I am already 23 years old, getting older. She is 32 years old and has wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, but her charm is even better than before. We chatted casually and found out that she was divorced and transferred back to the city. She left me her phone number. From then on, we communicated lightly. We walked on the street and liked to see our silhouettes in the windows. My tallness and her petiteness matched so well that there was no difference.
One day, I invited her to sit in my dormitory. The room was small, so she sat down on the bed and knocked over a wooden box. "Hey," she squatted down.I heard her voice change in tone: "What is this?" I also squatted down: "This is popsicle paper. You bought it for me 14 years ago. One piece a day, 38 pieces in total." Her breathing suddenly became rapid, and I said softly: "Do you remember, you promised to marry me when I was 9 years old. Are you still willing now?" I started sending her flowers every day. , big bouquets of red roses, with only one simple sentence on them: "Marry me." Zhu Yan always avoided seeing them. After I delivered 98 bouquets, she finally asked me to come out to meet and said, "Brother, I have decided to marry a 50-year-old widowed man." Tie Xin sank completely, "Why, since I was 9 years old, you have asked me to marry you. After 100 marriages, you still can't be moved by me? "
" She was silent for a long time: "It's not because I can't be moved, but because I have been moved. For a while, I really wanted to marry you like this. However, I am also 23 years old, and I have loved someone wholeheartedly. I believe in your affection, but when you are 32 years old, Everything may change. And by then, I will be really old. I'm sorry, brother, I can't afford to lose." Zhu Yan had already left. I sat in the coffee shop for a long time. For a long time, I heard the host broadcasting the hotline number from the radio at the next table. Suddenly, a wave of heat came over my heart. I rushed to the nearest public phone and pressed the number.
The call went through: From the first popsicle that year to the last rose 14 years later, she has always been the only newspaper girl in my heart, the partner I want to hold hands with in this vast world. Is it true that what separates us cannot be defeated by time? I asked: "Should I love her?" I put down the phone and immediately went to the audio store next door to buy a radio. I tuned the channel tremblingly and held my breath, as if waiting for God's judgment.
The first phone call: "You should love her." The second phone call: "She should love you." It seems that phones all over the world are ringing for this channel, with all kinds of voices rising and falling.
\"Time is not a reason, what is love if there is a reason!"
\"Life is a big gamble, be a good and responsible man, let her dare to place the bet, and let her win."
\And the last call was: "I will propose to her again!"
\At this time, I was standing at Zhu Yan's door, and the sound of the receiver came from her room, along with her sobs. And I raised the rose in my hand, knocked on the door, and prepared for my 101st proposal.
