Essence Turning around and taking a look, three autumns have passed.

_____A person like me has never been superstitious.
_____"A hundred years of practice make us cross the same boat, and a hundred years of practice make us sleep together."
_____"Ten thousand passing by each other in the past life only brings one look back in this life."
_____The above two sentences are regarded as timeless love quotes, and in the past I would just laugh them off. Yes, I am not a sentimental person. The friendship between husband and wife described in the first sentence is just a vague thing that is out of reach for me. Perhaps such a delicate and delicate emotion can only be confused by the authorities. The second sentence, I completely regard it as "girly pretentiousness". I believe that the person who created such a sentence is a woman. The so-called artistic conception is just an illusion and can only be imagined. Guys like me don't agree with this view at all.
_____Yes, wishful love is superstitious, and I don't believe it. But - this concept may only have existed before that...

On an ordinary night when I was returning home when I was already accustomed to riding alone on the lonely night road, the gorgeous but disappointing city lights were still showing off their splendor. Originally, they were just a careless glance at the traffic behind them. However, my heart, which was no longer excited for any reason, suddenly began to throb... At the opposite intersection where the light was not bright, there was a girl wearing a pink hooded outfit, smiling brightly from the side. It wasn't because of the attraction of the warm-colored clothes, but because of the face that I hadn't seen in 4 years... I don't want to imagine what my expression was like at that time. I only remember clearly what I did at that time. I squeezed the handbrake hard with both hands, wishing that the car could back up to the intersection so that she could see myself. I tried my best to turn my head to the maximum possible angle. However, I didn't speak, I just looked at her in the car with my eyes wide open... In my mind, the memory of the third grade of junior high school that was originally a little blurry appeared clearly... There was a boy and a girl, they were classmates sitting in the front and back seats... The boy is a very shrewd person, but He knew that the girl laughed the happiest when she was playing with him. She liked to play pranks on him and then see his reaction. When the boy was dissatisfied and played against her, she would pretend to be very angry and continue her "revenge" on him, and then she would smile sweetly. Because he knew it, the boy kept pretending to be clumsy and laughed with her when she laughed... He had a novel that he had written for a long time in junior high school. Because it was recorded in a notebook, it needed to be carefully protected, so his notebook would never be damaged or even painted on. But in fact, there were many ballpoint pen strokes in the notebook. Of course, they were not drawn by himself, but just her prank. He was not angry, nor was it because he let her go for no reason, but because after she applied it and noticed his helpless expression, she would pat her chest and promise that it could be "repaired." In fact, if it is damaged, use tape to stick it back, and use a pen to correct the painted part so that it is no longer obvious. And every time he saw her serious expression, and the smiling face when she finally showed off the modified product, he could only smile knowingly...
_____My vision suddenly became blurred, the lights around me bloomed with strange flowers, and I regained consciousness in my blank mind. Suddenly there was a strong noise in my ears. That was the honking of the car behind me. Have I been here long? I started riding the bike again in a daze. His face turned back. Of course I don't know why I did it. I just kept riding my bike and ran away. Now I've figured out why: escape. Yes, escaping reality, escaping myself, escaping her... She suddenly appeared in reality, and her face didn't change much, so I could recognize her, but I knew very clearly that I was no longer the same person I was in the third grade of junior high school. "Turn around and look back"? It really happened. But I don't believe it. This is unreal and I'm running from it. And she... she missed it back then. Now it's enough to know that you are living well. How could you give me a chance... Are you kidding? How could it be her?This was around the school. After graduating from junior high school, everyone had no contact with her. She didn't even know which high school she went to, but it just wasn't the high school she attended. Yes, it can't be her, it's just someone who looks like her. I'm just overthinking it because of the similarity in appearance. I kept thinking this while continuing to ride home, with a wry smile on my face as I thought.
_____ When I got home, I rinsed my head vigorously with the shower head, hoping to wake myself up and forget the memory of turning around and looking back, but I couldn't fall asleep when I lay on the bed. I turned over, lit the lamp, and took out a draft book. There was a novel in it, which I wrote when I was a sophomore in high school. I hoped to publish it on 7723. Ao Xiang has been thinking about it and feels a little sorry for him because this novel may never be published because it is not finished and has no ending. The content of the novel is actually the change of my own story, just to give myself a certificate to commemorate her. In the novel, "she" "disappears" and then comes back, saving "my" soul from freezing. Love in novels can have a happy ending, but love in reality has no ending at all. So after finishing most of the content, I was so stunned that I couldn't put pen to paper at the end. I have never gained love, so why should I control the ending of love? The novel was put aside. Quietly gathering dust. That night I took it out again and saw where I started and where I left off. That was the time in the novel when "I" finally understood the truth and wanted to pursue the love that has not yet passed away. Under the fluorescent lights, I looked pale. Inexplicably, I cried on my piled arms late at night...

_____That night, I had a dream: After the last test of the junior high school entrance examination, I hurried back to the classroom to pack my things. When I walked out of the classroom, I saw her holding the examination tools, looking at me as I came out, and smiling at me. I no longer chose to go to the dormitory but directly handed the letter I had written in my pocket but not sent out for a long time into her hands... Her smile was brighter and clearer than before, and it was the first time I saw her smile so close: "Actually, I have always liked you..."
_____In fact, I took the letter out of the draft of the novel that night and put it under the pillow...
— — — — —
To:
Yixian
(The love I had in junior high school will be engraved in my heart.)