Even without drinking, the wind can always make people dizzy, especially when I was riding a bicycle and running wildly in the night. But I really like windy weather and places, whether it is warm wind or cold wind. Riding in the wind is like flying side by side with happiness. Every time I turn my head, I seem to be able to sense someone coming - I am waiting for that smile.
I'm waiting for you, just like I know I will meet you one day, you are also sure to wait for me, right?
Actually, I just had a dinner party with my undergraduate classmates again. After every dinner party, I will definitely feel emotional again. But on the way back to Tsinghua University alone, it is easier for these feelings to turn into a light but difficult to dissolve emotion, just like the wind around me.
On the way to the dinner party, I rode a bicycle through the busy traffic. I was as agile and happy as I was when I was 16 or 17 years old. In those days, many nights, I rode with someone on the road late at night, circling around and around, singing freely in the evening breeze. But it's been 10 years since this happened, right? I can no longer believe that all that really happened, and I can no longer believe that such a feeling will happen again. Some things should only stay in a specific time and space.
But why do I start to miss it now...
But the nostalgia can't even touch a specific object. The past is uncertain and has become the wind around me. Is the wind the ruler of time?
Passing under the Haidian Bridge, passing through the small west gate of Peking University, passing by the familiar building entrance, two little girls passed by. Why are the memories mute and no warmth remains in my heart? It's like - nothing happened. It turns out that the most ruthless punishment is not sadness, but the lack of any reason to make the mood rise and fall - even if it is sadness.
There was a lot of thunder and a small amount of rain during today's dinner, and in the end there were only eleven people. In fact, many times we always think that those things that we are accustomed to or easily obtain will continue as usual, but when things change, we realize that nothing is certain. Therefore, cherish the seemingly ordinary possessions, because you will find out at some point that it has become the most beautiful thing in the regret.
I could have gone out through the east gate, but since Weiming Lake is so close, why not go and see it? Under the Boya Tower, I looked up and saw the winter stars. Orion was so bright in the sky behind the tower. After looking around, I realized that tonight can be considered a starry night. The wind is blowing loudly, and the snow is falling in my heart. I accidentally discovered a couple sitting under the tower. There is no shortage of lovers in Weiming Lake. Even on such a cold and windy night, there must be some. I almost forgot that I walked across the frozen lake with someone in the early morning over and over again, as if the entire starry sky was orbiting us.
What can express one's heart more directly than singing? Hum a song, very old. There are only so many songs that a person knows. The songs that a person knows seem to be prepared for a certain age. After that time, there is no need to update.
Listening to love songs and singing love songs, when I was sixteen or seventeen years old, I would be moved to tears, as if the song was singing about my own experience. I would listen to it and fall asleep every night, and the melody would be engraved in my mind. I would listen to it while walking or riding home, thinking that as I grow older, I will experience the joys and sorrows in the song, and become the protagonist of happiness or sadness in the song. There will be a you who makes me happy and sad.
But am I not considered grown up now? But riding a bicycle in the wind is still as crazy as when I was 16 years old. Am I not considered grown up now? But why not only have I not reached the dream I once had, but I have also lost the love in my heart.
My love is lost... My love has not yet warmed your heart, but it is lost and I can't even find it myself.
Even without drinking, the wind made me dizzy. On the day when I no longer see someone, time flies by very quickly. It has been more than a year in a blink of an eye. But when I recall it, it is like a flash, and before this moment, it also disappeared.
Running wildly in the night, can I find you? Where are you? Wind, tell me, where is my girl under the sky? You know, I gradually can no longer convince myself to wait happily. But I will wait anyway, just in another form. While waiting, I no longer believe in the reality of waiting. I really like windy weather and places, whether it is warm wind or cold wind. Riding in the wind is like flying side by side with happiness, like turning your head to the side at any time, someone may come - I am waiting for that smile, that smile wants to tell me that the love that has found me blooms in that smile.
This is a strange season. The colder it gets, the hotter my heart becomes. In the past six years, I have encountered and glimpsed moments of love, and it seems that they are all in this season. The first time I let myself get drunk and crawled back to the dormitory from the unknown lake was in this season. It is also in this season that we make the promise to grow old together under the bridge, hold a warm hand and run wildly in the cold wind. In the distant time and space, using the phone and the Internet to convey the stability of knowing each other, it is also this season... Winter is coming, can spring be far behind? But why does my spring never come after winter?
The past two years have passed so fast. I don't know what I have done, and I have achieved nothing. Running in the wind, you can still be as crazy as sixteen years old, but in the blink of an eye, you have to sadly warn yourself that your youth is far away and you have to go back to 25 years old. However, in the blink of an eye, I thought, what about a hundred years of life between heaven and earth? Does the young heart have to be eternal? Finally, I understood that it is not necessary that it cannot exist forever, but that even if it wants to exist forever, it cannot. Over the years, what has been lost is not only the fair and childish face in the mirror when I was a boy, but also the love I thought I would have in my heart.
?
At this moment, sitting in the dormitory, far away from the cold wind, and far away from the opportunity for you to appear, happiness is so far away, stubbornly holding on to the happiness in my heart, writing these words, listening to the old love songs, one after another, seems to make myself believe again, I will wait, wait for my faith, wait until one day, fly in the wind with you.
