[Emotional Story] Only through pain can you understand the depth (reposted)

The year I started dating Yang, we had just entered college. I was 18 and Yang was 19. Yang is that kind of handsome sunny boy, cheerful and sports-loving, who has a fatal attraction for little girls. It's just that the prince charming in my mind should be the kind of mature, wise, sophisticated and steady character, like Fei Yunfan and Zhao Zigeng in Qiong Yao's works. Yang is obviously not, but anyway, maybe it's vanity. Yang and I are in love... Our universities are very close to each other. We spent almost all our days together during our freshman and sophomore years. Those days were happy and carefree. We studied together and grew up together. Being with Yang is very easy. He is tolerant, easy-going and generous. Maybe he is not careful enough, but carelessness in boys is not a bad problem. The only drawback is that he is still the same sunny boy in high school, not as mature as I longed for.
Then, when I was 20 years old, I graduated. I studied at a two-year junior college, while Yang studied at a four-year undergraduate program. After graduation I found a job in a small private company. At the beginning, work was not going well. The happiest time for me every day was when I saw Yang after get off work. He could always clear up all my unhappiness after a day's work. At that time, I thought that although choosing Yang was not in line with my dreams, it was the right choice.
I worked very hard and made progress day by day, and eventually I became very good at it, so it seemed that seeing Yang every day was no longer so important. After get off work, I had more and more things to do, more social activities, and more social interactions. After getting to know and come into contact with more and more mature men, I would always unknowingly compare Yang with them, but Yang's words and deeds seemed so childish. This discovery made me very frustrated. So I began to avoid Yang intentionally or unintentionally.
It was a sunny weekend afternoon, and I made an appointment with Yang downstairs in my house. I told Yang that he didn't meet my requirements. He was too childish for me, and I couldn't stand immature men! Yang was shocked and sad. That was the first unpleasant experience we had since we met. Yang was very puzzled by my decision, but he said tolerantly: "Okay, what do you want me to do? I will change it." However, thinking about how a mature and restrained man could talk down to a woman, I resolutely turned around and left, ignoring the calls behind me.
When I got home, I felt very uncomfortable and restless, without any sense of relief from letting go of my burden. I decided to go out for a walk to relax, but as soon as I got downstairs, I saw Yang Zheng standing against the wall, with tears on his face. My heart suddenly felt like something had stabbed me, and I even had the urge to rush over and hug Yang and cry. In the end I did nothing. For many years after that, thinking about that scene always filled my heart with sadness.
As the days passed slowly year by year, I have been deliberately avoiding any news about Yang. The avoidance is not because I don't care, but because Yang always touches one of my most sensitive nerves.
When my mother started urging me to get married, I realized that I was no longer the little girl who could do whatever she wanted, and the mature man in my dream was still just a phantom. I thought maybe I was the real childish and immature person, always chasing a dream, so unrealistic.
Just when I made up my mind that I would marry a man who loved me no matter how ordinary he was, I saw Yang again. At a company's new product launch conference, I attended the meeting as a company representative. When Yang appeared on the podium, I was stunned. Yang on the podium was still handsome, but he exuded the confident demeanor of a mature man. I think I fell hopelessly in love with him again at that moment. At the cocktail party after the meeting, I walked up to Yang. Yang saw that I was absent-minded for a few seconds, but quickly returned to my previous demeanor. We soon started chatting like all old friends who hadn't seen each other for a long time. It seemed that nothing unpleasant had ever happened between us.During the chat, I learned that Yang is now the department manager of this company. In my mind, Yang has completely become my ideal man.
I couldn't sleep after I got home. I was excited, excited and had an unspeakable emotion. I have always wanted to find a chance to see Yang again, but I was too embarrassed to call him because we left each other's contact information, but he did not contact me. Occasionally, I met a high school classmate and said that he wanted to hook up with a classmate to have a relationship. I responded to his suggestion very actively. So one weekend not long after, the high school classmates got together again. I simply chatted with my old friends and looked forward to Yang's arrival.
Finally, Yang came to me with a bright smile, but he held a girl who looked as tender as water. He introduced me: "This is Xiaojiang, my girlfriend." In an instant, an unprecedented disappointment spread all over my body, and I felt dizzy. In a trance, I heard Yang say that they had known each other for 5 years, and the girl had accompanied him through many difficult days, and he had achieved his current success.
Six months later, I attended their wedding. And I am not married yet.