1. When I came back from the night shift and parked my car on the first floor, I heard a little kid crying in the house. His mother lied to him that there was a ghost outside. In the spirit of helping others, I howled in terror, but... both of them cried. 2. Tang Monk: "Wukong, listen to me, Wu Jing has been acting very strange recently. After I said a few words to him, he walked away without saying a word, and then lay down in Xiaobai "In the dragon's trough." Wukong: "Junior brother Sha is not good at words. He should be expressing his dissatisfaction with you through actions." "What do you mean?" "Fuck!" 3. Man A: My blood type is B, and my wife's blood type is also B. She gave birth to a child. Man B: The child will not be type 2B.
4. Nowadays, some girls like to type "I" into "E" as if they are hinting at something...
5. When I was walking through an Internet cafe, I happened to catch up with the JC commando team to check the Internet access problem of minors. Several young men were called out to line up. When JC asked about a young man with a crew cut, I happened to walk by. So I heard the following conversation. "Profession?" "Mage." I looked at him with great reverence and prayed for him silently!
6. Do you believe that dating in student days can be brought to the Civil Affairs Bureau in one go? Answer: Most people talk about hospitals in one breath.
7. I heard a saying that the key to getting along with a girl is this: If she is new to the world, take her to see all the prosperity of the world; if her heart has gone through vicissitudes of life, take her to ride the merry-go-round. God's reply: The key to getting along with a man is this: if he is in love for the first time, you take off your clothes; if he has sex with many people, you stay by the stove.
8. It is said that women are like eggs, very hard and reserved on the outside, very pure on the inside, and very yellow on the inside... 9. Brother A went to the lottery center to buy lottery tickets. When he saw friend B sitting at the door, he asked: Isn't this ***? Why are you sitting here? Buddy B rubbed his eyes and looked at Buddy A for a while before holding back a few words: I got hit... I'm a little dizzy, take a break... Buddy A: Wow, how many hits did you get? Are you so excited? Is it possible to win 5 million? After a while, buddy B quietly choked out a few words: I'm suffering from heat stroke... Let's take a rest here... Guy A: 囧rz...
10. A loser has a crush on a certain goddess. Today he went to the public toilet and came out to wash his hands, and saw her washing her hands too. So he was about to go up and chat with her. When he passed behind her, she turned her head and smiled at him. Diaosi was so anxious that she didn't know what to say. He blurted out: "You peed on your hands too?"
11. I came to school without any bedding, so I borrowed a quilt from a friend in my class for a few days. As a result, my aunt came and got a lot of help. So I wanted to take it home over the weekend, wash it and give it back to him. I had menstrual cramps that weekend, and I kept crying and had no strength, so I asked him to help me carry it to the car. It happened that the father of the male classmate came to school to see him, and he saw him leading a girl with tears in his eyes and holding a blood-stained bed sheet. I was so angry that I kicked him to the ground... 12. Growing up, my attention was not on the national flag when raising the flag, but on whether the national flag stopped at the top of the pole when the national anthem was played... 13. The day before yesterday, a girl asked me: What does SM mean? In order to protect my image, I told her: It means insomnia! Yesterday, I found out that the girl had a new signature: I've been doing SM a lot lately, it's so painful! But just stay up until dawn. Today, she broke up with me!
14. When I was eating in a hotel, I felt anxious during the meal, and the waiter said enthusiastically: Our hotel does not have a bathroom, you can go to the public toilet opposite. We have an agreement with them, and when you get there, you will say you are "for food"! ……
15. There was a class in the third year of high school. The teacher was talking eloquently at the top, while the monitor was drowsy below. His deskmate took advantage of the teacher not paying attention and whispered "get out of class is over" in the monitor's ear. This guy suddenly stood up and shouted, "Stand up!" as if he had been shot. As a result, four absent-minded classmates in the row behind stood up and shouted: "Goodbye, teacher!" 16. I played snooker with a foreigner today, and I was so abused. The foreigner praised me every time, which made me feel embarrassed.After I came back, I thought carefully about his expression and it didn't seem like he was praising me. After checking, I finally gained some insights. newbie (rookie)………….
17. I had just taken the driver's license test and I borrowed a friend's car to practice driving for the first time late at night. I was very nervous. I heard a bang while driving and was frightened. When I got out of the car, I saw that a big accessory had fallen off. I quickly moved it to the car and drove back. Two days later I I went to borrow a car again, and the guy said to me angrily: "Brother, you are so good. You are so unethical. You drove my car to steal a manhole cover. Do you want to kill me?" 18. I was taking a bath with my friend at the bathhouse. My friend wanted to take a bath... but I couldn't find the bath master. So he yelled at the top of his lungs: Is there anyone who can take a bath? The uncle in the pool replied: Young man, rub it for me.
