In October 1992, not long after I entered the university, I was recruited as a member of the student press corps of the school newspaper. There, I met Jiang Hao, who was already the leader of the press corps. Jiang Hao is one level ahead of me. He is from Chengdu, Sichuan. Not only is he handsome, but his writing style is surprisingly beautiful. Before entering college, I had read his beautiful and sad love story.
I firmly believe that love is really a kind of fate. It is difficult for me to describe the first impression he gave me, but I did feel dizzy and intoxicated at that time, and I also found a lot of charm in his eyes...
Soon, everyone became familiar with him. I could clearly feel Jiang Hao's unusual concern for me. Once, after Jiang Hao's love story was published in a magazine, he received a commission of 300 yuan, and everyone clamored to let Jiang Hao treat him. Jiang Hao generously took a few juniors from the press corps to go shopping. After a while, large bags of food and fruits were bought. All members of the press corps were eating and chatting lively in the school newspaper's editing room that night, and the atmosphere was as harmonious as brothers and sisters. When it was almost 11 o'clock, everyone went back to the dormitory one after another. When I was about to leave, Jiang Hao pulled my sleeve and said, "Xiaoxiao, wait a minute." My heart jumped suddenly, and my face turned red with a premonition.
When he and I were left alone, both of us felt uncomfortable. Jiang Hao's former calmness and elegance had disappeared. He said a little incoherently: "I have been in Xi'an for more than a year, and I haven't eaten a few Xi'an snacks. You are from Xi'an, can you be my guide? Besides...for the royalties, I also want to treat you alone..." I nodded without even thinking about it.
On the evening of the next day, Jiang Hao took me on a bicycle from the southern suburbs. Under my guidance, we walked through the streets and alleys and came to the famous Jia San Guantang Steamed Buns Restaurant on West Street. That day, the two of us had a great time eating. We chatted while eating, and the distance between our hearts suddenly shrunk very small. There, he told me that it would have been difficult for me to be picked up by the press corps because of my writing style, but he argued for me and told other members: "Her shoulder-length hair is a beautiful piece of prose." Everyone was amused by him, and just like that, I became a member of the press corps.
When the lights were on, we walked back from West Street. I sat in the back seat and watched Jiang Hao's strong legs kicking hard. I was moved and satisfied. We talked and laughed loudly, and he would look back at me from time to time, then flip his hair and tell humorous stories. I laughed heartily, and my heart was so excited that I had never experienced before. Suddenly, I, who had been immersed in happiness, discovered that Jiang Hao was riding the wrong way. We should have turned south, but we were riding north. I knew that he must be lost. I wanted to tell him, but I didn't. I gently held his waist with both hands and let him gallop as fast as he could. I really hope that this road has no end and that we can depend on each other like this for the rest of our lives.
While riding, Jiang Hao stopped, he yelled "Oops", turned around and said to me: "We are going the wrong way, going in the wrong direction! Look, isn't that a train station?" The train station in the north of Xi'an city was brightly lit, Jiang Hao said again: "Xiaoxiao, we are going the wrong way! Didn't you see the road?" I said guiltily: "I have been listening to your jokes and didn't pay attention at all." So we went back along the original road, and I acted as a "director" for him from behind: "Turn left...go forward..." It was already very late... I couldn't sleep that night.
(2)
Because of that beautiful night, Jiang Hao and I got closer. But I found that Ye Zi, a girl from the Department of Economics who joined the school newspaper with me, showed unusual concern for Jiang Hao. Because she had spent many weekends knitting a pair of gloves, and while she was knitting, she would ask Jiang Hao about the color and pattern, and she would also measure the size on Jiang Hao's hands. That kind of excessive intimacy made Jiang Hao very embarrassed, and I was also very unhappy.
The night of November 15, 1992, was a day I will never forget.Because the midterm exam was coming soon, I was reading in the big classroom in District 7 that night. At 11:30, I and another girl were the only ones left in the classroom. At this moment, Jiang Hao came in from the back door, walked to me and talked to me for a while, then sat with me for a few minutes and then left without saying a word. His expression was very strange, and I was quite puzzled at the time. After a while, I heard someone knocking on the window glass. I turned around and saw that it was Jiang Hao outside the classroom. He pointed at the watch on his wrist. I raised my wrist and looked at the watch. It happened that three needles pointed to 12 at the same time. When I raised my head again, he had gone away. When I was confused, the old English song rang at the back door: "Happybirthday to you, Happy birthday to you..." I hurried over and took a look. There was a box on the ground at the back door, and in the box was a beautiful "heart"-shaped music box. The lid of the music box is open, and beautiful music is emitted from a rotating colorful disc. There is a funny plastic man standing on the disc, rotating with the disc, and making blessing movements. I suddenly remembered that November 16th was my 19th birthday, and I had forgotten it because I was busy with exams. I bent down and picked up the music box, took the little man away, and the music stopped. I put the little man on it again, and the blessing songs started again. I suddenly understood that Jiang Hao was going to send me that beautiful blessing when November 16th came. I was so moved that I almost shed tears. When I was listening to the music quietly, the girl next to me came over and said, "Happy birthday to you!" I took the little man away, and she took the music box in my hand, looked at it for a long time and said, "My boyfriend gave it to you! My boyfriend also gave me a music box like this for my birthday last year, but it was not as unique, and it was not as romantic as your boyfriend!" I said "Thank you" to her with a satisfied smile.
I carefully put away the music box. After returning to the dormitory, I quietly locked the music box into the box. I didn't dare to put it outside. My sisters were busy all day long!
The next day, I went to the editing room. Jiang Hao blushed when he saw me. I was a little embarrassed, but I still said "thank you" to him gently. Just when I was immersed in the sweetness of my first love, I found that Jiang Hao seemed to have changed. He stopped joking when he saw me, and was as polite and courteous to me as if he were a stranger. Although I felt strange, I didn't care much. Half a month later, I finally had an answer to my strangeness: when it was snowing in Xi'an, his hands had already put on the pair of gloves that Ye Zi had knitted for him long ago - they became an open lover.
My heart is about to break. Is this the result I have been waiting for? For a long time, I didn't dare to go to the editing room. I was afraid of seeing Jiang Hao's handsome but cold face, and I was afraid of hearing Ye Zi's satisfied and exaggerated laughter. I understand that there is no point in loving someone wishfully. Although I like him, he can only give me brotherly care. I misunderstood him.
Thinking about it this way, even though it hurts, I feel relieved. But I can't live without a boyfriend. I want Jiang Hao to know that besides him, I will find a better boy. A Beijing boy has always been very kind to me. He is humorous, handsome, and very considerate. Not long after I was a sophomore in college, we became lovers, although I knew very well that I had never truly loved him.
From now on, when Jiang Hao and I meet in the school newspaper editing room, we will smile and nod, but that routine-like smile has the coldness of winter. Our relationship remained cold until the eve of his graduation from college.
(3)
July 4, 1995, was the day Jiang Hao left Xi'an and returned to Chengdu. On the day he left, all members of the press team, as well as many of his classmates and fellow villagers, went to the station to see him off. I was caught in the crowd and watched him holding hands and chatting with the people who were seeing him off. Seeing the sincere sadness on his face, my heart seemed to be hurt by something. After all, he was my first love! I suddenly found that he was looking anxiously across so many people. I was confused: isn't his girlfriend nearby?When his eyes move to me, he always pauses for a moment. Looking back now, I can see how rich the connotation is in that pause! I clearly felt that when he looked at me, he was perfunctory and absent-minded towards others.
When the train was about to leave, he reluctantly got on the train. Originally, his seat was not by the window, but he moved to the window seat. He said goodbye to everyone who was seeing him off one by one, and I noticed the tears in his eyes. Suddenly, he shouted to me, who was standing in the distance and watching him: "Xiaoxiao, come here!" I went over and found that there was a bright pain and enthusiasm in his eyes when he looked at me. I stood on my tiptoes so that I could hear him clearly. And he stretched out his fit body and handsome face from the car window, leaned over to me, and kissed me hard and long on my smooth forehead. Suddenly there was deathly silence in and out of the car, and I closed my eyes at a loss. At this time, I heard applause, a wave of warm applause. It was the students applauding his behavior! He said in a voice that only I could hear: "This is my only shortcoming in the past three years, and today, I made up for it." Looking at his affectionate eyes, I cried.
The car drove away, carrying him farther and farther, but the inseparability in his eyes was very clearly imprinted in my mind.
Returning to the dormitory, I touched my forehead and his passionate kiss seemed to still be there. I opened the box and took out the music box that I had been afraid to touch. Open the lid and place the little figure on the disc. Suddenly, the old classic English song filled the whole room. In the sound of music, I remembered that lost night again, and the 19th birthday that made me first fall in love. I was immersed in the music, and my emotions rose and fell in the music. I buried my head in my hands and let my tears fall quietly. "Since he likes me so much, why doesn't he confess to him? Does he want a girl to take the initiative to confess to him?" I was deep in thought, and the music ended, and suddenly a voice sounded, a voice that I am very familiar with. That magnetic voice has attracted me in my dreams many times: "Xiaoxiao, I love you, will you be my girlfriend? If you are willing, please give me a piece of your long hair, because a long hair represents a lifetime of concern!"
I was stunned suddenly! I picked up the music box, picked up the confession of love, and held it tightly to my chest. I finally understood why his attitude towards me took a turn for the worse. Since I had not listened to the music at that time, I could not understand the secret hidden behind the ancient music in the music box, let alone reply to him. And he must have thought that I rejected him, so he accepted Ye Zi's love against his will.
This discovery made me heartbroken and burst into tears. Why does fate like to play tricks on people so much?
That night, I laid out paper and picked up a pen and wrote him a letter with tears in my eyes. I didn't want this misunderstanding to accompany us throughout our lives, even though we had missed the best time. In the letter, I did not forget to give him a long hair. I just wanted to show that I was really willing at the beginning, and I was willing!
Soon he wrote back: Xiaoxiao:
The most beautiful scenery is always the one that leaves most quickly, and the most true feelings are always the ones that hurt the most. In the days after I gave you the music box, I was on pins and needles. I was looking forward to seeing you but was afraid to see you. But every day I see you, you always have a calm smile on your face. I thought you must have rejected me. Originally, I wanted all the secrets to stay with me throughout my life and sink into the soil of the earth with my life, becoming forever. However, I kissed you at the station that day. My heart told me countless times at that time: If you don't kiss her, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You know, how much courage should I have?
I found out your birthday after a lot of effort. Half a month before that, I rode quietly to a handicraft factory in the eastern suburbs. I asked the workers to make a special music box for me, because ordinary music boxes only have music, and I want to record what I want to say to you most into the music box.At first, the workers didn't agree, but in the end they were moved by my sincerity and started recording and producing for me. The appearance of the music box was also redesigned according to my requirements. I want the gift I give you to be unique and sentimental. Originally, the cost of such a single product was very high, but the factory only charged me the price of an ordinary music box. At the end of the day, the older worker patted me on the shoulder and said, "Young man, I wish you good luck." I still remember the first time we went out alone. When we came back, we got lost and went in opposite directions. In fact, you were lost, and I always knew that I deliberately went the wrong way because I wanted to stay with you for a while. When I turned north, I was afraid that you would recognize the road, but you didn't recognize it at all... When I saw this, tears had already blurred my eyes.
Now I just want to tell my friends who are in love, if you give a music box to your loved one, please put your love confession in front of the music. Often, the success of love depends on the time of a piece of music.
