Secretly admiring you, liking you, has taught me so much—thank you

Some people say that having a crush is the best because you won't experience heartbreak; a single smile can make me happy for a long time, and a single sentence can be remembered for a lifetime.\ However, others say that if you like someone, you should say it out loud; otherwise, happiness might silently disappear. But what a crush often lacks is that bit of courage.\ I am that kind of guy, without the courage to tell you that I like you. And now, just as we are about to set out separately for our own futures, I want to tell you that I like you. I just want to share my past thoughts with you, without too much imagination, without expecting what kind of story we might have together. I know you have someone you like, and I am just one of many friends to you. I just want you to remember that, many years ago, there was a boy who had a crush on you—so long… so long… until now, there is still that faint feeling…\ You are a grade older than me.\ I remember the first time I saw you, your reaction was to check our class number; you said you remembered that the class monitor was a girl, but now in front of you stood me. Seeing that mischievous yet slightly puzzled look in your eyes, I laughed in my heart for a long time—this girl is so cute.\ The second time I saw you was at a meeting; the head was speaking endlessly at the front, while you were at the back, playing with your keys, putting them in front of your eyes, slowly moving them, yet staring at them intently. Do you know? I was watching you then! Haha, you were having so much fun playing like a child.\ I still remember that meeting; you ran behind me to talk to a girl and casually asked which one was Class 1-4, because you were in that class as well in first grade. When I looked back, you smiled and said something that really represented my old style. That must have been the first time we spoke!\ After the meeting ended, I was happy for a long time, feeling a little silly myself. In the following two weeks, every time after running exercises, when a big group of people walked toward the teaching building, I was always looking for you. Fortunately, I could always find you. Perhaps, it was then that I had already started to have a crush on you!\ I thought we would always remain as strangers. Perhaps it was luck! When recharging the class card, I met you again in that crowded room.You saw me and smiled, but I accidentally stepped on your foot, and you just gently touched my head. At that moment, I actually felt my heart race. Okay, it was me who got excited. \ From then on, it seemed like our relationship had progressed a little. When I saw you, I would go up to mess around with you, and that was when I was happiest. Not wanting you to see through my little thoughts, I would sometimes occasionally act a bit stubborn. Hehe, that's how I would overthink and guess randomly. \ Every day, whether it was after morning exercises or at noon while getting lunch, finding you in the crowd became my favorite thing to do. Sometimes, just seeing you from afar would make me happy the whole day. I think I really fell for you. However, I have very little confidence in myself, so keeping it in my heart was the best thing I could do. I was afraid that if I said it, we might not even remain friends. I was cowardly; I could only act like a fool this way. \ Time slowly passed, and the first year of high school was coming to an end, but I chose to leave this school because I wanted to do what I really wanted to do, rather than stay here for the dull and boring studying. And that made the distance between us even greater. But since I had decided to leave, I would not regret it, though I still have a faint longing for you. The last time I packed my things and left, I looked out the window and saw you adjusting your hair against the glass of the car I was sitting in. That narcissistic look of yours still makes me smile up to now. If I hadn't said anything, I think you would never have known that I was sitting quietly on the other side of the glass, watching you. That was the last time I saw you. \ Now it's been a year, and you have already graduated from senior high. Before, I would still indulge in the hope of returning to school to see you, but now we are drifting farther apart. I would casually check your social media space from time to time to see those slightly narcissistic photos of yours. I guess that's a kind of emotional attachment! \ If you see this article, what would your reaction be—would you laugh, remain silent, or something else? \ I don't know. \ I only know that I am very happy now, still like you, but I won't be your burden. I still enjoy the current distance between us—not too far, not too close, just being able to chat occasionally is already very nice.You have someone you love, and the first thought that crossed my mind was actually blessing you. In the past, it seems I felt more sadness. Time really is a strange thing; I am no longer that little girl I used to be. Now I understand more about protecting, just protecting you is enough…\ I like you, and it has also taught me a lot. I hope in the future I\ will meet the one who truly likes and cherishes me. (br)(Forward)