(1)\This late night, the stars outside the window were dim. Wei Ran sat in the train carriage heading to Changsha. He looked around, as if watching a film from the 1980s or 1990s, the kind with dark gray imagery.\The aisle was full of people, all leaning against each other's unfamiliar, heated bodies. Although the windows were open, it was still very hot. Occasionally, a cool breeze blew through, mixed with a faint smell of sweat, instant noodles, and ham sausages, stirring the purple curtains that brushed past each weary soul.\Wei Ran felt suffocated, and his mood gradually became irritated and restless. So he turned his head to the right and gazed out the window. The train slowly moved forward, and the occasional whistle seemed to drift far in the darkness, sounding particularly crisp and pleasant. Compared to before, he even thought it had a certain timbre. In the distance, the river's surface was still, not a ripple in sight, and so the moon seemed to sink into the water. The mountains appeared small, pressed against the shore, close and cramped. In the distance, shadows of people moved, like puppets trembling on a wide backdrop.\He seemed to hear a melancholy song. Yes, it floated over from the rocks by the shore. There really was such a song, which added a touch of sadness to the originally dark world. His gaze blurred; those two long iron rails suddenly looked exactly like lines of clear tears flowing into the distance.\He sighed. It had only been half a year since his last solo long-distance train journey.\April's world was, after all, filled with moisture and a touch of coolness, just like his deep, transparent eyes, which were about to break, oozing scalding blood. This trip, in his view, seemed more like a one-way journey, with no return. Because he did not know whether that person, like him, was looking forward to the apricot blossoms and drizzle in the air, which, as in past years, would fall appropriately in the heart. Thinking of this made his thoughts even more chaotic, and his heart beat hard. He didn't know whether he was missing Xiao Yu, his girlfriend, or just his former self.\(2)\Wei Ran first met Su Xiaoyu in junior high. At that time, his hair was messy, he looked scruffy, and he still had the body of an elementary school child, which made him look immature. Xiaoyu, on the other hand, grew up wildly. Despite a distinctly childish face, her body already carried the fragrance of ripe fruit. Wei Ran was born with a good voice, melodious and sweet like a nightingale. He studied diligently and was seen as a model student by everyone. Xiaoyu, however, spent her days running and playing with friends, embracing happiness above all else.Two people who seemed to live in different worlds—who would have thought that their futures would intersect?
Like many stories of unrequited love, Wei Ran secretly protected his little feelings, fearing that someone might inadvertently break through the walls he had painstakingly built. But perhaps he would someday thank that dark night.
It was the second semester of the ninth grade, just a month before the high school entrance exam. By then, Wei Ran had become a tall young man, with a coarse yet sunny-looking face. As usual, he quietly went about his life on campus. Summer had arrived, and the weather was somewhat hot, making him feel uncomfortable. The big camphor tree in front of the teaching building, with its large green canopy, seemed a bit helpless, much like how he felt about leaving junior high soon. Due to a power outage, the evening self-study session was canceled. Wei Ran walked out of the classroom alone and sat on the lawn by the playground. By coincidence, Su Xiaoyu was also there, and they started talking. The topics varied, showing that they weren't as unfamiliar to each other as they had imagined. Finally, Wei Ran summoned the courage and revealed a long-held secret to her. Watching her surprised expression, he felt a bit triumphant—he had hidden it so deeply that even she had been fooled.
From that moment on, Wei Ran felt that his life was filled with colors of red, yellow, white, and purple. He also began to spend away the destiny between him and Su Xiaoyu. That was a long time ago, and sometimes, although he could recall it, he was too lazy to remember.
Later, he and Xiaoyu went to different high schools. They could have gone to the same school, but sadly, Xiaoyu fell a few points short. As the ancients said, "A tiny error can result in a vast difference." From that point on, they were like two straight lines starting from the same peak, just off by a one-degree angle. And then, they drifted further apart.
Perhaps it was because they had grown up.
(Three)
As Wei Ran entered high school, he often had the same dream. In his dream, the same scene kept playing. At dusk, a boy and girl in pure white school uniforms passed by the big camphor tree. The boy pushed a bicycle and glanced at the back seat, warmth glinting in his clear eyes. The girl sat on it, leaning against his not very broad back, quietly watching the scenery along the way.
After countless repetitions, the scene suddenly changed. The girl seemed to have grown up overnight, wearing a white dress, yet in the rain of apricot blossoms she held the hand of another man.
Wei Ran suddenly woke up, his head heavy and confused, only feeling a pain in his chest as if it were splitting open, and tears rolled down uncontrollably from the corners of his eyes.
In the year they entered their final year of high school, like many couples, they too fell into sadness and loneliness, because not every love can reach the shore of happiness. Xiao Yu lingered in his life, then quietly left without a sound.
It was also at that time that the vast and long longing created days that could never be dispelled. Xiao Yu's silhouette was dulled by the drizzle. The wind of late autumn blew through the grass, and the flying white birds made everything even more blurred. He recalled the days in his memory when candlelight flickered, only for a moment of truth; the most beautiful spaces in life were reserved for you. And the shores the life has to pass through would only anchor a beautiful paper boat, unable to withstand wind and rain.
He became like a thin tree, gazing at the changing seasons on the opposite bank, quietly guarding a solitude, living for stubborn belief. Reviewing all the days soaked by rain, some thoughts settled in his heart. Yet whenever the days were colorless or silent, he could only let the heavy hands of time move. Rather than singing to a broken life, it was better to hide the sadness.
(4)
He would still, on every holiday, send Xiao Yu a text message. The ones others sent were quite funny, the kind he could edit and forward. He sent messages to Xiao Yu when he missed her deeply but didn't know how to tell her.
Sometimes Xiao Yu would reply, sometimes not, sometimes she would call him directly.
"Hello, is this Wei Ran?" Her voice always seemed like a cold snowy day; it carried the warmth and breath of snow-filled days, rushing toward him, impossible to resist.
He couldn't resist such a girl, the Xiao Yu of the past. He said, "It's me, I'm Wei Ran."
"Wei Ran, are you okay?"
"I'm okay, how about you?"
"I'm okay too."
Just like that, you're fine, I'm fine, so I hope you are even better. Goodbye.
After all, they were no longer the Wei Ran and Su Xiao Yu of the past.
(5)
Later, he began a relationship with someone else, and that person became his girlfriend. How could he say he didn't love? If you didn't love, you wouldn't be together, right?
He just didn't think that, in the end, this relationship too couldn't escape a fate of distance and separation.June 8th was the day the college entrance exam ended. It was a sunny day, with a gentle breeze that even carried the scent of strawberry-flavored cake, the blazing sun leaning toward five o'clock in the afternoon. His girlfriend collapsed into her arms, crying. The two stood quietly, the only sound being the occasional sob, while two long shadows were cast on the ground.\
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Wei Ran went alone to a university in the north. Suddenly, he felt lonely. In fact, he shouldn't have felt lonely. Like everyone else, he was busy with his studies and work. Yi Shu said, "Society is a cruel arena." Yet his attitude toward life was so good, he shouldn't have been lonely.\
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However, the busier he was, the lonelier he felt, and no one could ease it.\
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He thought even more about Xiaoyu. When he finally texted her, he said, "I miss you."\
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In the misty rain, he saw her. Was this the anticipation of April? The long-accumulated waiting, like a drifting white light in winter, had lasted many years, so many years, from every silent kiss.\
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But at this moment, he saw her bright figure, shrouded in a dreamlike haze.\
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The anticipation of April, passing through snow-covered wheat fields, gazing at that instant—there were countless stories in the raindrops, squeaking underfoot. Each leaf held a story, and each tale of longing turned into a vanished vow.\
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Through the heavy curtains of rain, he gazed at her figure, the threads of affection flowing with her as she walked away, vanishing into the misty sky.\
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(6)\
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So, he truly went to Changsha to find Xiaoyu; so, he boarded this train.\
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Night was still dark, and the moonlight was still cool as water.\
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Wei Ran remained the same, staring out of the window in silence for a long time, expression firm and proud—perhaps the last of his confidence.\
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He just never understood. At that time, love was profound and gentle, yet not everyone could endure the torment of waiting and doubt. In fact, what could not withstand scrutiny was only that final bit of resolve; what could not leap across the vicissitudes of life was not love, but reality.\
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He recalled a sentence he once read in a book: "In a person's life, one is destined to meet two people: one who amazes time, and one who soothes years."\
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Perhaps in the future, someone else would come to smooth the course of his years—not a love that carves deeply into the heart, nor a wait without resentment, but a companionship forged through trials and hardships. Yet this past period remained a dream he would never forget in his lifetime.Sometimes, love is only a train ride away, and when it reaches the destination, the journey also comes to an end. 2014.4.22 (This article is my original work. If it is reposted on other websites or used for other purposes, the original author must be credited, or contact me. Otherwise, it will be considered an infringement.)
