:※(^_^)※ Various Hilarious Jokes, Issue 1... Implicit Content, Pure-Hearted People Enter with Caution

1. On the airplane, a parrot said to the flight attendant, 'Give me a glass of water.' The pig imitated the parrot and said to the flight attendant, 'Give me a glass of water.' The flight attendant was furious and threw both the parrot and the pig off the plane. Then the parrot said to the pig, 'Silly, I can fly.'

2. A man was about to starve in the desert when he found a magic lamp.
Magic Lamp: 'I can only grant you one wish, hurry up, I'm in a rush.'
Man: 'I want a wife…'
The magic lamp immediately conjured a beautiful woman and disdainfully said, 'About to starve and still greedy for beauty? Pathetic!' Then it disappeared.
Man: '…cake.'

3. The phone rang, and a little girl picked up the receiver…
Man: 'Hello, baby, I'm your dad. Where is mom?'
Little Girl: 'Mom is in the room upstairs with Uncle Chen.'
The man, a bit angry, said: 'Which Uncle Chen? We don't know anyone called Uncle Chen in our family!'
Little Girl: 'Yes, the Uncle Chen who comes every time after you go to work.'
After a long pause, the man calmly said: 'Baby, shall we play a game together?'
Little Girl, excited: 'Sure!'
Man: 'Go to the room upstairs first, then shout loudly, "Daddy's back!" and then come back to the phone.'
The little girl did as told. Soon, she heard a scream. The little girl then listened to the phone again…
Man: 'What happened to mom?'
Little Girl: 'Mom, after hearing you're back, rushed out of the room, accidentally fell down the stairs, and isn't moving now.'
The man, a bit satisfied, asked: 'And—Uncle Chen?'
Little Girl: 'I saw him jump from the room window into the swimming pool, but it seems he forgot that you drained the pool water the day before for cleaning. Now he's lying at the bottom and isn't moving either.'
The man was silent for a while…
Man: 'Swim…swimming pool? We don't have…a swimming pool! May I ask if this number is xxxxxxxx?'
Little Girl: 'No.'
Man: 'Oh, sorry, wrong number.'

4. That day on QQ, I was borrowing a CD from a junior female student…
Me: 'Do you have C…' (couldn't type the D)?
Junior: 'Annoying! Guess again!'
Me: 'D?'
Junior: 'That's closer.'
Me: '…'

5. One night, Bao Zheng held a magic mirror: 'Magic mirror, magic mirror, who is the darkest person in the world?'
Magic Mirror: 'Damn, who's talking!'

6. Job interview: The boss asked me to casually introduce myself and describe my characteristics.I said: I don't know how to write the two characters for ‘failure.' He patted me on the shoulder: Young man, you're pretty good! I like you! This spot is yours! (Really unexpected, usually when people hear I'm illiterate, they tell me to get lost).\7. The girl and the young man loved each other, and their feelings deepened, but they never crossed the line. The girl couldn't hold back first and gave the young man a delicate condom as a hint. Unexpectedly, the next day the young man proposed breaking up. The girl was heartbroken and full of regret. At this time, the young man was complaining to his buddies: This girl is too smart, wants to break up but doesn't tell me to my face, sends a broken balloon to hint that I should blow it, damn it, if I'm supposed to blow, I just blow. Cute~~~\8. LZ is a guy. He was just wandering around his cousin's school with him and, when they reached a small forested area, they saw many condoms left behind after some students had engaged in romantic relationships. His cousin said: Bro, what did you see? LZ innocently said: Lots of condoms. Students nowadays are too open. But his cousin said: Master, you are attached, I have seen corpses all over the place, resentment soaring……\9. Just as summer vacation started, he rushed to ** and told the boss: “Pick a prettier one!” The boss said: “Classmate, you're on vacation, right?” He said: “Yes.” gc arrived, and the boss said: “We're on vacation too……” Very interesting~~\10. One day, seven men had to cross to the other side of a river, and all their clothes were stripped off. There were fish in the river that only eat men's J, but they had a plastic bottle, and later they successfully passed through. How did they do it?